What always DID work on me was my mother’s habit (one we share, when angry) of icing up, clamming up, freezing the object of our anger out – the silent treatment. I would have frankly rather been spanked a thousand times than have my mother p.o.’d at me and giving me the silent treatment. Shudder.

Matter of fact, at 43 years old, it STILL works on me. Heh.

In this case, the absence of the hug and talk it over afterwards is what makes it really humiliating. And the fact that Mommy can just ‘lose it’ and hit me when she feels out of control must be very frightening. No one should have to live with that. We felt shamed when our parents spanked us, but not afraid of them. They did other things that felt more shameful to me, like the ‘I’m disappointed in you’ talk.

I don’t have kids. I spanked one child as a babysitter once and I did it because I was angry and lost my temper. I have babysit other kids whom I had to go over and physically remove from doing something I had told them repeatedly not to do, or have grabbed them, sometimes less than gently because they were in harms’ way, but I never spanked again. Same with dogs. I hit my dog once because I was frustrated, not because it was a way to teach her how to behave.

Was this a spanking? I can’t tell from these shots, they’re too small. I do think spanking should be avoided, especially the premeditated, “You need a whooping” type. Ocassionally losing it happens, at folks have noted.

-kag

Is Kate actual spanking the child in the photo? It is hard to tell. I sure hope not. Sometimes pictures can be deceiving. Today at the library my 2 year old sprinted off in a parking lot that was very busy with moving cars and I had the baby in my other arm and all I could reach was her hair. I didn’t pull it but I did grab it and she stopped. If she didn’t stop it may have gotten a big yank though and I’m sure that picture would look horrible.

Now, obviously, she’s not big or strong enough to actually hurt him. But in a way, that makes it worse. She could hit him and know he wouldn’t defend himself or he’d look like the bad guy.

But dang. You don’t regularly hit your spouse when you’re annoyed with them, even if it doesn’t physically hurt them. It’s really gross.

And I can’t believe that how many people talk about what a crappy husband he is (and yeah, he doesn’t seem like a charmer), but neglect to mention that she hits him.

So, yeah, it doesn’t surprise me at all that she hits her kids. That seems to be established already as her way of dealing with things.