Do you think maybe Chinese paint just tastes better than good, old American paint? Because whenever I find that a particular toy or household item keeps ending up in my toddler’s mouth, I can be pretty certain that when I check the bottom, it will read “MADE IN CHINA.”

Maybe the Chinese put some kind of baby-and-small-child-attracting pheremone in their paint. Or maybe Chinese melamine is like toddler crack – only adults can’t smell it, sort of like how we can’t hear at the same pitch as dogs.