Already dreading the breastpump
Posted on 12/31/2009 10:14 am by kagranju
I was happily surprised to see that one of my blog posts of the last year was included in the list of Best Breastfeeding Blogs and Blog Posts of 2009 by the blog PhD in Parenting.
And that got me to thinking about the fact that I will once again be breastfeeding a baby in 2010, almost TWENTY YEARS after I became a mama for the first time, to my sweet baby H, who is now 18 years old and a high school grad. I only nursed H for a few weeks, because I had no idea what I was doing and I got superbad medical advice on HOW to nurse my baby. But I did breastfeed him. I then nursed J between 1995 and 1999 (Yes, that’s four years. What can I say? The kid liked to nurse!), and E between 1998 and 2001. Then I breastfed C for 13 months between 2007 and 2008. And now I’ll be a breastfeeding mother again, for the last time.
That’s a whole lot of breastfeeding! It’s definitely been one of the most gratifying, enjoyable parts of motherhood for me. The only parts I did not enjoy were the few bouts with mastitis that I had over the years, nursing J while pregnant with E (HATED nursing while pregnant and probably wouldn’t do it again unless I were pregnant but also still had a nursling under 12 months of age), and the godawful experience of pumping as a full-time working mother, which I dealt with for the first time with C.
I have to admit that I am already truly dreading the pumping part of breastfeeding this time around. As I’ve blogged before, my extreme hatred of everything about pumping gave me a deeper understanding of how strongly felt some women’s dislike is for breastfeeding itself. I assume that the women who tell me that they just hated nursing sort of feel the way I feel about pumping. Pumping was a very humbling experience for me. I used a Medela Pump in Style last time, which many women find to work great, but I think that this time I will either cough up the $$$ for another brand of high-end consumer-grade pump, like the Avent Isis (have any of you tried this one?), or I may even rent a hospital grade pump like the Medela Lactina (have any of you used one of these as a working mom pump?). Maybe with a breastpump that I like better, it won’t be so bad. Maybe. I hope. I also now have a job with a more predictable schedule and an office of my own with a door that locks, which wil be a lot easier than trying to find time to leave a busy newsroom and go hide in some out of the way, freezing spot in the building to try to pump. So that will certainly be an improvement.
But even so, I am not looking forward to that part of working while mothering a baby. Maybe some of you can relate.
12/31/2009 at 10:22 am
Congratulations! I didn’t know you were expecting again.
I have quite a bit of experience with pumps and pumping and there are two great pumps that came out just as I was finishing up with my pumping days. If I were to do it all over again now, I would probably get either a Medela Freestyle (great pump, but I’m a bit pissed at Medela over its recent aggressive bottle marketing) or a Hygeia (new company/pump that is getting rave reviews and is WHO Code compliant).
12/31/2009 at 11:04 am
Ah, yes. I’ve been back at work for 4 months and breastfeeding my 8-month-old from day one. Pumping 3x a day is SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS. I have the Pump In Style and once I figured out that I needed smaller shields it became more comfortable, but the process is so annoying. I’m busy at work and have to drop everything to do it. I’m fortunate to have a lovely room provided to pump in, at least. But compared to the sheer pleasure of breastfeeding my girl, pumping feels so wrong. I’m determined to breastfeed for at least a year, though, so pump pump puuuump.
Congrats, by the way!
12/31/2009 at 12:13 pm
Hi Katie! Been following since I first saw you on Babble, but first time to comment. I nursed my firstborn for the first 6 mo, and had a pretty good set up as far as pumping went until 6 mo. But, things changed, and I had met my initial goal (breastfeed for at least 6 mo), and she was ready, so we quit. I am now nursing my second one, and have a far better situation for pumping (my own office w/door that locks!), and let me tell you that it makes a huge difference. Abbie is 8 1 /2 months old, and we are still going strong. Just like nursing, the more comfortable you are, the easier it is. Good luck, and a huge congrats! Happy New Year!
12/31/2009 at 3:43 pm
Oh how I hate pumping. I do it over and over and I hate it every time. I hated it when I did it for my first son, and I hate it now.
I am about as privileged as a working mom could be. I have an office and a supportive boss. I have some control over my schedule. I know my baby is happy at home with his dad.
But it’s when I pump that I feel the full force of the conflict between my career and motherhood. I look down at this thing attached to me in such an arresting way and I think “Unnatural mother. Your baby belongs at your breast and instead you are putting a machine in his place.” It looks like something out of a dystopian movie.
How’s that for dramatic? I just miss my baby, and am most reminded of that when I pump.
Also, I hate how it interrupts my workflow and how I shiver because office buildings are not heated to accommodate nearly-topless women.
12/31/2009 at 4:15 pm
I think it is very sad that this is what is expected of mothers these days.
12/31/2009 at 8:20 pm
I’ve used a Medela Lactina and an Ameda Elite (I preferred the Elite), and they way outperformed the Avent Isis. The only advantage I can see to an Isis is that it’s a lot smaller, so it can be good for occasional use. However, I did all my pumping at home, so I can’t really comment on which of the hospital-grade pumps is better if you have to use it at an office.
12/31/2009 at 9:10 pm
Hi Katie!
I rented a Lactina from the hospital for a few months after I had my daughter. It was very bulky, but also had great output without feeling like it was going to suck me and my boob into another plane. I returned it to get the Medela Pump In Style because I didn’t have a “permanent” spot at work to pump, so I had to tote my gear around. I would say that if you have an office with a door (and a lock) and don’t have to have a mobile unit, it was pretty cheap to rent the Lactina when you consider shelling out around $300 for your own.
I was not a huge fan of pumping, either. HOWEVER, my spin on it was that it was the ONLY part of my day that belonged to ME. I listened to my iPod or read or just closed my eyes. It’s hard to interrupt your day like that, but if you can force yourself to take that time to quiet your mind, it seems like a tiny bit less of a necessary evil.
Good luck and good health to you with your pregnancy. Thank you for sharing your stories!
01/04/2010 at 9:57 am
My first time I rented the Medela hospital grade from well the hospital and it was wonderful. It was clunky to drag around especially to jury duty but it was a great pump that I used for over a year. I rented it for $30 a month. The second time I bought a Medela that was a smaller version of the pump in style and I rarely used it.
01/05/2010 at 11:14 am
I also loathe pumping. I am always incredulous when someone wants to exclusively pump or will pump when they could nurse.
I used the Lansinoh pump, it is the same as the Ameda Purely Yours but cheaper. It got the job done and I’d recommend for a part-time pumper or anyone on a budget. Otherwise, if I ever have to pump again, I think I will also invest in a higher-quality pump.
The only good thing about pumping is that I got lots of reading done.
01/05/2010 at 2:42 pm
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01/13/2010 at 8:39 pm
Every word written by “Anonymous” above resonates with me! There were times I felt such anger while pumping, thinking to myself, “Some daycare worker five miles away is holding MY son and trying to get him to take a bottle, which he is just going to fight and refuses, while I am stuck here in this office stuck to a milking machine so that my family can have health insurance and a mortgage payment.” Anger is a very strong feeling that I feel very rarely, and I was shocked that something that seems as innocuous as using a breast pump caused these feelings to arise.
Good news to all pumping working moms is that 1) you are doing a great thing for your child, even when you are struggling with negative emotions and 2) there is an end to pumping! That can be difficult to remember. There are times you might just have to take it one day at a time. I celebrated for many reasons when I reached his 1 year birthday. One of those reasons was I got to quit pumping!! I happily began “weaning” myself from the pump (Medela Pump In Style, which I loved) at work which ended up taking me one month.
My son is currently a happily nursing 21-month old. Boy, I never expected to be nursing a toddler, but it has been a surprisingly good, positive experience. Hang in there, pumping gals. You can get through this!!