It’s 11 pm, which means that Baby G has now been out of my belly and in my arms for just about 24 hours. And I have yet to sleep!
Jon is asleep on the fold out sleeper chair next to my hospital bed, and G is snoozing in the little bassinet on the other side – which explains why I haven’t yet slept. You see, the hospital where I gave birth doesn’t allow newborns to stay in the room if both parents are asleep. In order for the baby to stay and not be taken to the well-baby nursery, at least one adult has to be awake – with lights on – at all times. And since Jon is asleep, I am fighting sleep myself because even though I’m sure they would take excellent care of her in the nursery, I don’t like being away from her. I know that I’m going to have to cave in soon, though. Even the post-birth euphoria that’s kept me awake this long can’t last much longer.
Since I am exhausted and feeling spacy, I probably can’t manage a truly organized and coherent blog post, so here are some odds and ends from our first 24 hours since G arrived:
- For those who have asked or are curious, yes, I did have a c-section. My labor went from Braxton Hicks contractions to REALLY strong contractions in just a few hours. Brethine and stadol failed to stop or even slow down the contractions. So for several reasons ( I will write a longer birth story later), including the fact that G was transverse breech and the very powerful, nonstop contractions were stressing my previous c-section scar, my doctor advised us to go ahead and have a c-section. Forty five minutes later – at 11:45 pm last night, G arrived via a relatively uneventful surgery.
- G was technically 34 weeks gestation when she was born. She would have been 35 weeks if she had made it to midnight before her delivery.
- She weighed 5 lbs and 7.5 ounces and was 18 inches long. She’s TEENSY. But unlike some babies who come early (including C, who was born at 36 weeks in 2007), she doesn’t look undercooked or like a preemie. Instead she just looks like a miniature, perfectly formed china doll, with sweet little features and quite a bit of wavy, very blonde hair. She is GORGEOUS.
- She needed a bit of supplemental oxygen for a few hours after birth, so Jon and I had to wait to have her with us until 3-4 am in the morning after the c-section. She’s been breathing wonderfully since then. That’s great news because at 34-35 weeks, we weren’t sure how her lungs would be. We’re really lucky.
- That’s the good news. The bad news is that like many late-term premature babies, she is veeeeery sleepy and her sucking reflex is underdeveloped. So breastfeeding is not going well (understatement). She and I are really struggling to get nursing going. Even for me - someone who has successfully breastfed several other children, and who has helped lots of other women get started nursing their babies – this is really a challenging situation. She’s simply too tired to latch on and actually eat. And making matters more complicated, she also has had issues with unstable body temperature and blood sugar levels (both also common problems for late term preemies). So we have to get calories into her. It’s crucial. Without energy, she can’t wake up enough to nurse. It’s a vicious cycle. At one point today, we were warned that if we didn’t see some improvement in her feeding and blood sugar, she might have to be sent to the special care nursery for a day or three to get things stabilized. The thought of being separated from her in an acute care hospital setting was REALLY upsetting to me. So I broke down and explained to the nurse who had taken her blood sugar about recently losing Henry, and she was absolutely wonderful. She told me she would do whatever she could to help us get the blood sugar issue turned around – and she did. This nurse spent the next 45 minutes showing me how to use my finger plus a syringe (to avoid nipple confusion while she;s learning to breastfeed) to get a mix of my pumped milk plus high calorie formula into G’s little tummy. An hour later, her blood sugar reading was the best it had been all day. And since that time, this nurse’s technique has allowed me to keep her well-fed enough to stay out of the NICU. She still isn’t really getting enough, and I’m still not half as good at it as that nurse is, but we’re hanging in there. I also keep G skin to skin as much as possible to keep her temperature up, and so I can try to nurse her every time she looks even remotely awake enough. Unfortunately, I really wasn’t able to get her to latch on even one time today. But I think that if I just keep trying as she grows and becomes more awake, we will eventually get there. Between the pumping, the nursing attempts and the finger-plus-syringe feedings, keeping her fed is a very time consuming proposition at this point. Her weight is now at 5lbs 4ozs, so she hasn’t lost too much. That’s good. Tomorrow I hope to get a clearer idea from the pediatrician of how her feeding will have to look in order for her to go home (I am hoping for Thursday at the latest).
- Today J (staying with her dad and stepmom while I am hospitalized) and C (staying with Jon’s wonderful parents) both came to meet their new baby sister for the first time. It was magical for me to see each of my girls with G, and to realize that I am now the lucky mother of THREE beautiful daughters. J came to the hospital with two of her best friends, and I loved seeing the big girls oohing and aahing over G. J seemed so proud, and loved holding her new baby sister. C came into the room yelling “where is my baby sister!?” and was absolutely THRILLED to finally meet Georgia. She couldn’t keep her hands off of her, but I could tell that she is also a little stressed. We’ve had so much happening in our family lately, and she’s had to spend more time away from her mama than any two year old should. But her grandparents are so amazing and she is so close to them that I think she is mostly doing okay. Still, I can’t wait to get home, get the kids home, and try to settle in as the radically reconfigured family that we are.
- E still doesn’t know that G was born last night! I tried several times today to get him on the phone at camp but wasn’t successful because he was out hiking all day. I think we now have a plan where he’ll be calling me first thing in the morning so I can tell him. He is going to be SO EXCITED. (He will probably be equally excited to hear about the surprise baby guinea pigs)
- G’s other hospital visitors today included Aunt Betsy, cousins E, M and NC and Uncle Robert and Aunt Nicole, plus cousins A, H and N (their J is away at camp as well, so he wasn’t here). Dr. Neighbor also came, along with the Hickman grandparents, plus C and M (who are Henry, J and E’s father and stepmother). It was a busy day. All agreed that G is an absolutely beautiful baby who radiates a peaceful, warm vibe that puts a smile on everyone’s face. She’s a special baby; we all sense it.
- Today was an amazing day for me. Starting last night, while I was lying on the operating table just before the c-section, I sensed Henry’s actual presence with me for the very first time since his death. And he’s remained with me all day today, encouraging me to fall in love with his new baby sister, born two months to the day after he was first admitted to the hospital. When I hold G in my arms, I feel Henry with me in a really intense way. It’s extremely comforting and has brought me a level of peace with the loss of my son that I hadn’t experienced even one bit before G’s birth. It’s been an extremely emotionally intense 24 hours, and I love Henry even more than I did before.
Katie – It was so good to read a little about G's birth story. I am so happy it was relatively smooth for you considering all that you have been through. I am sure Henry was there guiding sweet Baby G right through delivery and into your waiting arms.
Enjoy her and try to get some rest in there too! Good luck getting her to latch on so she can keep her temp and weight up so you can both go home soon. Prayers 
Love, love, love the pictures of you, your other 2 beautiful daughters and your proud husband. I am sure E will be equally thrilled when he hears the news! I agree with others that G does look a lot like C. She is absolutely beautiful for being here a little earlier than expected
She is so, so beautiful! Congratulations!
Congratulations…..I hope you all enjoy falling in love with each other all over again.
Oh goodness. The joy she brings is visible.
Congratulations! I am so happy that you feel more at peace with all of it. Agreed with a lot of the commenters about the tears from this post – of joy this time. You all deserve this happiness.
What a relief. To see that this transformation is a happy one full of joy and love…well, it's just beautiful to witness. Thank you for sharing it.
Wow, that last paragraph. I honestly don't even believe in an afterlife, but I have to admit that even I got chills when it hit me that maybe Henry really was with Baby G all along and that it made sense that you would finally feel him now. It is too sweet and heartbreaking for words. I want to believe that that's possible.
You've met this all head-on, and you are an inspiration. Thank you.
she is a gorgeous, gorgeous baby — and yes, utterly free of the wizened-apple-doll preemie look! mazel tov to you and your fam…and i'm so glad you could feel henry's presence. i hope as i write this, you're sleeping.
Lord have mercy, what a beautiful baby! What a beautiful family!
Congratulations to all of you on your big news.
Congratulations! This made me cry happy tears. She is gorgeous and looks just like C. My 3 years old was so sad to leave me and her sisters in the hospital when she visited. I'm surprised they don't let the mothers sleep. Take the time to recover and it looks like you know all it takes to eventually nurse successfully if its possible
So happy to read this great news about little G. I love her alert, lovely little face. And I love, love, love that you are feeling Henry closeby.
Wanted to second the idea that sleep is so important for you. Sleep, Mama!! Sleep!! My unsolicited (but sweetly intentioned) advice is to make your wishes super, crazy clear to the entire nursery staff (give them the impression that you will FLIP OUT if they don't wake you for feedings) and trust them to care for little G and get yourself some shuteye. You've been through a lot.
Um, the alert face would be from your facebook post. lol I guess she's not so alert in the pics above. But certainly still gorgeous.
)
Aww, the picture of you and C and G is just adorable. Congrats!
G is Gorgeous!!!! She is really robust looking for being a little early. You will get sleep, maybe some visitors can wait til you get home, so when your husband is awake today, you can sleep? It will all work out! Try to sleep when G sleeps if you can. Congratulations!!!
Congrats and welcome to Baby G! I'm so glad that Henry's presence calmed you (in light of your previous worries to be in the c-section room) and that you still feel him with you today. God Bless!
Girl – let those wonderful people, nurses, etc. take care of you!! It won't last long!
HURRAY! Welcome to the world little G. Our second was born at 37 weeks, 4 lbs 5 oz, no brown fat, low temp, and sleepy sleepy. We adopted, so breastfeeding was not an option for me, but we were there from the first night, feeding every hour and a half, keeping him warm on bare chests (Jon should try it too if he hasn't yet!). Formula isn't a bad thing, especially when it's the thing you need to keep the calories on. We used the 'super' high calorie version for the first month. I did use an SNS, as many here suggest, but not at the beginning. The focus was to get the calories in, the weight on, the temp regulated, not the method of delivery. Cut yourself some slack, get what rest you can, and continue beaming! So wonderful to see.
P.S. My teeny guy is now two weeks from turning one, and almost as big as his big sister was at 2. No one believes he was such a peanut at birth!
I am so happy that Georgia is here and doing well! Hang in there with the Breastfeeding even if you have to pump for a bit she will gain the strength she needs! I have been thinking about your family a lot since H's passing and wondered if you had felt his presence yet, though I didn't want to ask. I knew he would be there to greet his baby sister…. I know that he wants you to love her and to find peace in his absence physically. He is there spriritually and loves you! Congratulations and best of everything to you and yours! Give baby G a big hug and kiss welcoming her into this crazy world!
What happy family pictures. Congratulations on your previous little miracle.
WOW! Huge congratulations. I am so happy that everything went so well for you. That guinea pig birthing energy must have rubbed off on you!
Hang in there on the nursing – I had a late-preterm baby myself, and spent quite a lot of time finger feeding (among other techniques like the Lact-Aid to supplement at the breast, which was THE miracle invention that finally got us onto the breast completely). It can be grueling, I know, along with the pumping, but you'll get there!
She is absolutely stunning. And I am so happy to hear Henry has been with you.
katie: my son micah was born at 33 weeks, 4lbs and 12 oz. he was placed with us for adoption at 12 days, and came home at 15 days, so was bottle-fed in the nicu for two weeks. i had induced lactation, and began nursing him at two weeks with no nipple confusion. by then he was strong enough and awake enough, and we had no troubles at all. my pedi said, in her experience, late-term premies suffer less from nipple confusion than full term babies do (and she's SUPER bfing friendly). anyway, just wanted to offer my story as anecdotal evidence that all may not be lost if you need to feed georgia some bottles. (i went on to nurse micah for 3.5 years!)
big congrats to you!!
love, marta
I had a baby about the same size. We had to bottle feed the first week or so while I pumped. It all worked out. I think nipple confusion is a myth. Just keep trying to nurse and feed her breast milk in the bottle. I think formula confusion happens more often. We had to supplement also. It happens. The worst thing, even for you, wouldn't be to not nurse this baby, but if you stick with it G will eventually catch up and figure it out. I know YOU won't quit, but with a early baby it might take 2 or 3 weeks for you to get it right. Congrats.
i'm so, so happy for you and so impressed that you can blog so beautifully and coherently after having been up for 24 hours! she is beautiful – i wouldn't want to take my eyes off her either. congratulations, katie! i think us readers can sense that she is special too, and i really felt you when you describe henry being right there with you. sending love from our family to yours.
one more thing: our girl was 5 lbs 14oz at 40 weeks, thanks to IUGR. we were 1st time parents and scared (she lost weight in utero and then lost more weight those first few days) so when our ped told us to supplement our nursing with formula, we did as we were told. luckily, she fattened up right away, never had nipple confusion, and we ended up on a nursing streak that lasted until she was almost a year old. good luck with baby G! you guys will get through this in no time.
What wonderful news! She is truly beautiful and I'm incredibly happy for you and your family. I can't imagine the emotions you're going through, your heart has had more to bear in the past few months than any moms' should ever have to. Since I found your blog, I've been reading and have become truly amazed by your strength and honesty. May Georgia bring a blessing and peace to your family that you all might start to heal a little bit, and know that Henry's light is shining down on all of you.
I'm so happy to hear all this! My heart is so full!!
Love,
Anna Laura
Congratulations! I definitely teared up right there at the end, so glad you finally found a measure of peace in this maelstrom. My heart goes out to you all
I finger fed {that's what we called it} my first-born for the first 20 days or so until we FINALLY figured out nursing. Hang in there.
My husband and I figured out that we could use our wedding rings to anchor the little tube in the right place along our finger, and that helped a ton to make the process easier.Congratulations!
Congratulations, Katie!
she's beautiful…..looks a lot like C!!! CONGRATS!!!!!
congratulations, she is beautiful.
Hope you are getting some good rest! I know that's difficult as a new Mom but remember to accept the help when it's offered.
Katie, baby Georgia is SO beautiful. And her little/big sister's expression is so sweet and adorable, looking at her. They are going to have so much fun together. What beautiful children you have!
Your feeling Henry's presence through the birth and today made me think of something my friend Peter said. His young wife died of cancer, and he said that the feeling he got holding her hand as she was dying felt the same way as he did holding her hand when their son was born.
It's like birth and death are portals. I am glad you felt him close by.
The nursing thing will get better, she'll get right into it. And I hope you are now getting some sleep!
She is absolutely gorgeous!! Congratulations and blessings to all of you!
Considering how much Henry loved you, I am not surprised he couldn’t stay away for his sister’s birth. His spirit is strong and even if you can’t sense his presence, I hope you know he’s always nearby.
Best wishes to ALL of you!
Congratulations doesn’t even cover it!!
BIG LOVE to you and your gorgeous new baby and family!! <3 I knew Henry would be there with you- you had said something so sad about him not meeting his sister, but I think he and she were very much together as she waited to join you! SO happy to see you smiling… 
She is so beautiful! Congrautulations, Katie! I hope you are healing up well.
My own 34weeker(s) were also good breathers but the smaller one had a NICU stay of almost 3 weeks. After she came home it took another 3 weeks for her to fully figure out how to latch & suck. It was HARD, so, so hard. The whole “6 week hump” of breastfeeding was very true for us. Hang in there – the syringe is a fantastic idea, and I hope she continues to stay stable & grow & be the very best Georgia she can be.
So much love to you and your family!
Congratulations! She’s beautiful. I know it’s probably heresy to say this, but when my son was born he was a little sleepy at first, too. They gave him an ounce of formula and it perked him right up and we nursed successfully after that. He was full term at 7lbs, 7oz, so maybe that is also a factor. I’m pretty sure it’s not your style, but I thought I’d just mention it. I’m sure you’ll get it going soon.
Blessings…many, many layers of blessings.
Congrats, what a BEAUTIFUL baby! My son was also born at 34 weeks, and he’s a thriving almost 3 year old now. G has the same issues that he did, but boy, he made up for it and became a nursing champ! So will she. I pumped like you wouldn’t believe! Hang in there! And congrats again from a fan.
She is absolutely beautiful, and I’m so thrilled for you all. Congrats!
To me she looks just like C. did when she was born but with hair. Hehe. Love the pic of C. with her.
Burrito baby! <3
I say stay awake and enjoy. You can always catch up on sleep. I bet it hits you once you're settled in at home.
She is absolutely lovely! I am so happy for you all. My youngest two were 36 week c/s births and had the same difficulties that you and G are experiencing. It's so tough, but hang in there…it will keep getting better. Much love and peace to you.
Oh, Katie. This is all so much! Lots of wonderment. I am deeply happy for you.
And Henry is there in Sprit. What a beautiful comforting peaceful thing.
I think G looks a bit like C, do you?
What a beautiful family!!
Mygoodness she's adorable!
aw, Jax was born at 35 weeks. I remember the frustration of a sleepy baby not being able to feed well! Our problem wasn't body temperature and blood sugar but jaundice! He's my first (only for now) and it was so emotionally draining to try to get the little guy to wake up enough to eat! I ended up bfing for 13 months, so we got over it
This was so wonderful to read and brought tears to my eyes. I also had no idea Baby G had arrived as I'm behind on reading since we just now got our home Internet set up after almost two weeks. Congrats on the beautiful new addition to your family.
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