Yesterday I spent the afternoon in the Labor & Delivery ward at the hospital where I will give birth in a few weeks. I had a really sharp, notable pain in my lower belly all day and I finally called my doctor and he said I needed to come in and be looked at. I knew this made good sense, but I really didn’t want to do it because since it was Saturday, I had to go to the hospital instead of to the office. But I sucked it up and went. My sister Betsy- who has been so wonderful to me through all of this (not that she isn’t usually, but really, she’s been remarkable lately) – drove me over there and stayed with me the whole time because Jon was off for the day with E and my sister’s son, M.
They took me up to L&D in a wheelchair, which felt ridiculous, but the really bad part was being hweeled through the treatment area of the ER, which was where I saw Henry for the first time – bruised and bleeding from his ears and on a ventilator – after I rushed to the hospital that first day. I literally had to cover my ears and shut my eyes as the nurse rolled me through that area, with Betsy following.
Then when the triage nurse got me settled into a room and on the monitors, she did a basic obstetrics intake form with me – just the standard thing they do where they ask you your age and weight and…how many “living children” you have.
Simply put, this is not something I’d recommend asking a woman whose eldest child died two weeks previously. Of course the nurse didn’t know anything about Henry when she asked this, but as soon as the words came out of her mouth, all the air was sucked out of the room and I started sobbing. I felt terrible for making her feel so bad.
As for the baby, she’s fine. The doctor thinks I had some bruising or a little internal bleed when she flipped head down sometime in the past few days and that’s what was causing the pain (which is better today but still there) I am also having quite a few contractions now, but they are the Braxton Hicks kind that aren’t a big deal – just somewhat uncomfortable. The doctor reassured me (have I mentioned that I LOVELOVELOVE my doctors?) and sent me home to rest.
I am so eager to see the baby and feel her limbs and touch her head and hear her breathe. I need the certainty of her physical presence as soon as possible. Pregnancy seems too uncertain. Emotionally, I just really, really need to NOT be pregnant right now. But it won’t be too much longer now.
Tomorrow I go back to work.
12 Responses to “Back to the hospital”
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Dear brave Katie,
Be strong.
Praying for both of you.
Just sending love to you.
and as always i will be holding you in my heart. but i will hold you closer.
Your strength is unbelievable, and the depth of thought and sincerity of your words is remarkable. I’m sure you wonder as well…how on earth are you able to cope? I can’t begin to fathom your situation, but have so much admiration for your handling of it. Your other kids will be OK; clearly, you are attuned to what each needs and you are allowing those needs to guide you in responding to them.
take care.
I guess that to get the http://www.lowest-rate-loans.com from banks you ought to have a firm reason. Nevertheless, once I’ve received a small business loan, because I wanted to buy a house.
I am sending so many prayers and positive thoughts your way. My son is/was in rehab. He went to a sober living facility on 6/11. 111 days sober. Of course, now I am a nervous wreck because he could get drugs lickedy split there.
I’m glad that she’s okay, and that you’re okay. You had to go to the hospital, and it was hard, but you did it! You made it through and that’s great. I know the last few weeks of pregnancy drag on and on but she will be here so soon. Good luck with work tomorrow. I will be praying for you all day.
Uggh. Always on a Saturday. Glad you are okay and so is your new LO.
Oh for Criminette! (as my maternal grandmother would say…) Now that that little girlie is head down, I hope she stays put and peaceful until the mid July day you squirt her out to meet the people who love her, thus eliciting the relieved and excited cheers of thousands (who will no doubt capsize the entire Internet with their volume). I’m going to visualize you in a hammock, with a big glass of lemonade on that big ol’ beller, a combination of shade and sunshine overhead and that good good sister of yours nearby.
xxx ayun
When my mom was 44 and my dad 47, they had three kids at home — a 20yr old girl, a 16yr old boy, and a 9yr old boy who had hydrocephalus (water on the brain). He was in and out of comas and often barely clinging to life. Then she found out she was pregnant with me. She said she couldn’t imagine any worse timing.
The blessing (I hope among many) was that it forced her to focus on something other than my brother. While I realize that dealing with a very ill child isn’t the same as mourning the death of another, I still can only hope and pray that the baby you’re carrying inside of you can bring you a new, happier focus and some unexpected blessings at a time when you need it most.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Glad to hear you and baby G are doing well. It must have been extremely difficult to go thru that hospital. I am so glad you had your sister there for support. Being pregnant is an emotional roller coaster anyway and then adding all of what you have been thru on top of it has had to have been a living hell. You are so strong Katie and I admire your strength and courage.
Aimee