Confirmed plans:
10 am – Receiving of friends at St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral in Downtown Knoxville
11:30 am – Service celebrating Henry’s life at St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral in Downtown Knoxville Please don’t wear black – wear something that makes you feel happy. Please bring fresh picked and fresh cut flowers for all of the children at the service to lay at the altar
Casual reception to follow at our house – beginning at 2:15 pm
Directions available by email or at the service
Our family is starting what we hope will become a permanent, endowed fund that will provide scholarships for families who cannot afford to pay for needed drug and alcohol treatment programs for their children. In lieu of flowers, we ask that you remember our boy and his struggles by considering a donation to:
The Henry Louis Granju Memorial Scholarship Fund
c/o Administrator: James Anderson
Morgan Stanley Smith Barney
2000 Meridian Blvd.
Suite 290
Franklin, TN 37067
Much love,
Katie, Chris, Melissa, Jon, Jane, Elliot, Charlotte and the rest of the Granju, Allison, Anderson, Hickman and Tant families
91 Responses to “UPDATED DETAILS: In Celebration of Henry”
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I hope you don’t think this to be an inappropriate time to comment. I don’t know you but recently found your blog. I have a son struggling with addiction. My heart goes out to you. The fund that you have started is something that’s been on my heart to do. I will certainly be contributing and would be very interested in helping you with any future endeavors to help families struggling with addiction.
My son’s addiction has taken my voice away.
I have been so taken with your beautiful son’s photographs: his winsome smile,the sweetness that radiates from the photos.
I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you and your family.
Parents do the best they can. Addiction is a disease that’s hard to fight, really hard. And sometimes, nothing anyone can do is enough. I can see from your blog what a wonderful, loving family you are. Henry was lucky to have been part of this and you lucky to have him.
Sometimes, souls are just too beautiful for this world. Maybe this was the case with Henry, that God called him back so young because he was needed.
His story and your writing about it has already inspired discussions among parents and children. It is likely to save lives. That’s not the same as having him back, I know. But it is an important legacy.
I have published your fund information on my blog: http://www.middle-aged-diva.blogspot.com and on my Facebook page.
Am thinking of you and your family with love and holding you in the light.
My heart is utterly broken for you and your family. Please accept my condolences and wishes for peace and healing. -Christine
My heart goes out to you and your family Katie. As a mother of a drug addict I certainly know that you did everything that you could do to help your son. I will be picking my son up on Friday afternoon for his first unsupervised week-end out of rehab. This is his third time in a long term program and he has been in this program for six months. I am scared to death! I just pray that this is the program that will work for him and that God will be looking after him every step of the way. I am so far one of the lucky moms that still has her son after many many year of drug use. He is now 28 years old and started using at the age of 12. I pray for you and your family and the peace that you have in knowing that you were the best mom that you could be! I have learned that as a mom of a drug addict you can’t just “LOVE THEIR ADDICTION AWAY”, that enables them to continue.
My heart breaks for you, and I (somewhat) understand what you are going thru. I lost my husband to the effects of a pain pill addiction, leaving me a widow with a 5 month old baby. Gather your family close and find comfort from each other. Praying for all of you, that you find healing as you work your way thru the coming weeks.
My son, who amazingly resembles Henry, has been struggling with mental illness since age 5 and addiction issues since he turned 18. He’s 22 now, been through rehab once but the self-medicating
continues. It’s a daily battle that breaks a mother’s heart as I struggle to keep him out of harm’s way. My own broken heart goes out to you and your family. You have done a very brave thing by speaking out and you have helped others in the process. God bless you and prayers for strength and peace in the coming days.
My thoughts are with you and your family, I am amazed at your strength through all of this, hang in there and I hope you are blessed with a healthy, happy baby.
My sincere condolences to you and your family. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Dear Katie – i wanted to tell you that my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family now – i know you have been through so much and my heart breaks at the news of your son’s passing – how i wish i could turn back time for you – i hope there is comfort in that his suffering has ended and he is whole again and at peace –
i worked at the AOC and knew your mother, Sue, a very sweet lady too – Please know our thoughts are with you all – God Bless You –
Karen Sprouse -
I am so very sorry for your loss of your beloved Henry. You are very brave to tell this story, in order to help other parents and children going thru difficulties with addiction. Your son has goodness and beauty, and I thank you for sharing him.
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Henry has already made a difference and affected so many lives. I know he ( and your willingness to share ) has made a positive impact on so many families. Such a difficult thing for you to do, yet you did it. Thank You.
One day the memories will bring smiles instead of tears. I pray you and your family find strength in each other.
Katie – as a mother and a person who has lived around addiction my whole life (I lost my sister 6 years ago), my heart is in pieces for you.
I wrote about you and Henry today on my blog. I hope, in the sharing, there is some comfort.
Here’s to Henry and his life.
We did the best that we could. And yet, our sons became addicts. I am afraid. And I cry for you and your family.
Katie — I do not know you at all. I was directed to your site by Zoot yesterday. I too have a beautiful boy (middle name Henry) with thick beautiful hair. Your story gave me a chance to sit and talk to my boy and let him know your pain. I thank you. Any chance I have to keep that dialogue open is priceless.
I shall be sending a check to Henry’s fund. I pray it will go unused by anyone else’s baby.
I’m so, so sorry Katie, for you and your entire family. Wordlessly sorry.
I can’t help but think that we should all be as lucky as Henry, to be surrounded by such pure love as he was, as we finish our journey on earth. What a privilege is must be to have your mother and father with you every step of the way. What a gift.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I think the notion of a fund for drug treatment is wonderful. As a prosecutor, I see so many young people with addiction problems who have no treatment options at all. I pray some good will come out of this tragedy. I will be making a donation in his honor and in honor of my friendship with Sue.
You do not know me, but I am sorry for your loss. The fund you are setting up is a good idea and a good memorial to your son, who blazed for too short a time in this world. Take care.
J.P.
Lexington, KY
I too continue to think of you and Henry. I am one of your readers who had several family members with addictions while growing up in her family. Again I am so sorry for your loss and wish I had something else to offer besides inadequate words. I am heartened that you made the decision to spend every moment of your available time with Henry. You will always have that. Henry will always have that. Henry passed on knowing that his family loved him, especially that you loved him unconditionally. Please do not underestimate the power of that. Many people in Henry’s circumstances die alone. I hope that your decision to be with and for Henry after his brain injury/od brings you great peace in your journey forward. I thank you and your family again for your courage and for sharing Henry’s experience. My deepest sympathy to you and your loved ones.
You are so brave to share all this. Please know that your entire family is in my prayers. I know that God can comfort us in the worse trials; I hope you are feeling His love and love of so many people around the country.
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot get Henry’s story out of my head – it haunts my mind…I am so sad for him, for you, your family. You words have invaded my head about being aware and talking to my children – on Sunday at a bbq parents were talking about this very thing – drugs and alcohol – how soon is too soon? What, if anything, do you say? Do you let the 1st time slide because everyone tries it “one time”? I am 100% of my answer now, thanks to your and Henry’s story. My heart is to heavy for you. I will support your foundation – addiction is so tough, having a close who battled it I commend you for taking Henry’s tragedy and helping others. May God bless you and your family. Much love, Beth from SJ.
I am glad Henry is no longer suffering, may he rest in peace.
“The memories of all the blissful moments I have enjoyed with you come crowding over me, and I feel most deeply grateful to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long…My dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have sometimes been!
“But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be with you; in the brightest day and in the darkest night….always, always. And when the a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, and the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for me, for we shall meet again…”
(An excerpt from the Ashokan Farewell, written to his wife by Major Sullivan Ballou of the 2nd Rhode Island, from The Civil War documentary by Ken Burns. Major Ballou was killed a week later at First Manassas.)
God bless.
I am so sorry for your loss. My brother has been an addict for more than 30 years, and I have been diligent in talking to my children about drugs, starting from practically birth. Please know that Henry’s story WILL save lives. I hope that can be some comfort. God Bless, and thank you for sharing.
I just started following your story, but wanted to offer my sympathies as well. I’m just heartsick with mourning for your family, I can’t stop thinking about what you’re going through, which I know must sound so strange coming from a stranger. My children are only 3 and 5, but your story has triggered the real fear and realization that I will lose them to their own wiles someday…and then who knows. What’s most terrifying is that you seem like a very good mother, and I can’t imagine doing any better. I don’t know how much more you want to share of your story, but I’m eager to listen to and learn from anything you have to say. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
Katie, God can come into any evil and create blessing. It may not seem like it now, but the shear beauty of your child will draw people’s hearts to him. And your strength (and believe me, you have it!) will cause you to become an activist, both for other people’s children and against the evil streets, and you will save many many children from this danger and many many mothers from this heartache. Henry did not die in vain, I promise you. God will use his beauty and your strength to help countless others. Like countless others, I was left heartbroken for this child and his family, but there is a Henry on every block in America these days, and his incredible beauty will imprint him face on every heart and give you a place to bring your message. God bless you.
I am truley sorry for your loss. After reading this I can’t get Henry’s story out of my head and am afraid of the struggles I have with my son now may turn into something that of yours
Ireally hope you can get the scholarship thing up and going, but can it include that of those with SEVERE ADHD & ByPolar? Usually children with these two things comes the alcohol and drug abuse and my 12 year old with this diagnosis is already starting to dable and I’m scared! My 28 year old brother is also ByPolar and struggles with drug abuse and is VERY suicidle as we speak 
I need help, so if anyone has any suggestions, please send them my way!! To Henry and his Life…….
To Lorie:
My sons addiction started at the age of 12 and he is now 28. He is in a Bible based rehab program now that seems to be working. They have a 90% recovery rate. My son was to the the point that he had no hope, we had no hope. After many years in different programs, more money than I will ever be able to repay and many tears and sleepless nights I finally have my son back. I know that there is always that chance that he can slip back into it because he is and will always will be a Drug Addict but, I finally feel like he has a chance at life. I can’t post info about the facility on this site but if you would like to email me at robincameron01@gmail.com I would be happy to give you information about the program. You do need help….none of us can deal with this alone. God bless you and your family!
I am so sorry for you and your family. I have been following ‘Henry’s story
through blog posts and I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your bravery
in sharing his story.
we are with you Katie, and family. Thank you for sharing your story. It resonates with so many. We are so very, very sorry for your loss. You are strong and brave, and a wonderful mother.
With love,
Emily, Keith, Lauren, and jack Hulse
Dear Katie,
I just found your blog through the mothering dot commune. A friend and neighbor of mine just lost her son to drugs in March. When I first saw her, 1 day after she learned that her son was dead, I hugged and told her my heart was breaking for her. Her response was, “At least he is not in pain anymore. He spent his whole life in pain.”
Thank you for sharing your son’s story. For your brave honesty. If I ever see my children using drugs I will be aware that they may be looking for a release of their pain. And I pray I will be able to guide them to other resources/releases.
May the happy memories of your son carry you through your sorrow.
May you never forget to share his memory with his siblings.
May your sadness diminish.
Peace, Joy, Love and Light to you and your family.
Hi Katie & family.
I don’t know you, as I’m sure many people don’t, but your story touched me today. I don’t think I did much work at work, or was very functional. I am so sorry for your loss. Your son and your struggles for your son have deeply touched me today. I am damn lucky that my baby brother didn’t have the same ending as your son has had. Or my older brother. Regardless, I thank you for naming that your son is an addict – so much societal trapping goes along with that.
I wish you much peace as you go through this time. I can’t imagine being in your shoes. And I’m, as I said, g-damned lucky that Noah didn’t have the same story.
Peace and light and love and joy to your family. You inspired me to send a donation, just b/c of the luck that has been afforded to me. Thank you.
Noelle
Oh Katie I’m so so very sorry. I am wishing you much peace right now, and the strength and support of those who love you – whether in person or across the ether.
Never the Spirit is Born
The spirit will never cease to be never
Never the time when it was not.
End and beginning are dreams Birth and deathless and changeless
Remains the spirit forever.
Death has not touched it at all
Dead though the house of it seems.
Katie-
I am so sorry about the loss of your beautiful boy.
It’s not fair.
Thank you for sharing his story. I’ve been thinking about you, him, and your family constantly.
Kristina
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this with all of us, and thank you for being the kind of person to start a fund for families who do not have the financial means to help their loved ones with their addictions.
I am so sorry to hear that this has happened. I am on vacation and will not be able to make it to the gathering. I have been praying for Henry and I will still be parying for your family. I am so sorry and I really wish there was something I could do to make this better but I know that at this moment nothing will help. I am so sorry that I will not be able to make it on Saturday but my thoughts are with you
I am praying for you,
Meghan
The scholarship fund is the best idea I’ve ever heard. My son, too, is a young addict. He is still in the ‘forest’ and since he is now over 18 with no insurance (and we had to have him arrested to get in-patient help for him when he was underage!) I know that there is an extreme lack of real help for many addicts out there. I’m glad that maybe the scholarship fund may be able to provide treatment and thus, a new life for some young addict out there. What an honorable, lasting and meaningful tribute to Henry. Peace be with you.
Thank your for sharing your story with all of us. Many who have never met you share your grief and will remember your strength in fighting for your wonderful boy. Sending love and strength your way.
Is there a way to donate via paypal? I would very much like to make a contribution, but I live overseas.
thank you for the opportunity to help.
To Henry’s Family -
There are no words that can ease the pain of Henry’s passing. No poem, no song, no words of encouragement. We are with you on your journey. We surround you with love and peace. We walk with you all in the valley of the shadow. You are not alone. There are many of us who have lost children…to drugs…to drunk drivers…to illness. There are many of us and we stand with you. I send my love to you. Henry’s song continues. The dance of life in him continues. And love wins. Love always wins.
elle