UPDATED DETAILS: In Celebration of Henry
Posted on 06/01/2010 07:04 pm by kagranju
Confirmed plans:
10 am – Receiving of friends at St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral in Downtown Knoxville
11:30 am – Service celebrating Henry’s life at St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral in Downtown Knoxville Please don’t wear black – wear something that makes you feel happy. Please bring fresh picked and fresh cut flowers for all of the children at the service to lay at the altar
Casual reception to follow at our house – beginning at 2:15 pm
Directions available by email or at the service
Our family is starting what we hope will become a permanent, endowed fund that will provide scholarships for families who cannot afford to pay for needed drug and alcohol treatment programs for their children. In lieu of flowers, we ask that you remember our boy and his struggles by considering a donation to:
The Henry Louis Granju Memorial Scholarship Fund
c/o Administrator: James Anderson
Morgan Stanley Smith Barney
2000 Meridian Blvd.
Suite 290
Franklin, TN 37067
Much love,
Katie, Chris, Melissa, Jon, Jane, Elliot, Charlotte and the rest of the Granju, Allison, Anderson, Hickman and Tant families
06/01/2010 at 7:18 pm
you are doing a good thing, a thing that will help.
i will remember Henry, his struggles, the beauty that shines from his pictures.
you and he were on my heart this morning: http://cribchronicles.com/2010/06/01/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-mockingbird/
again, i am so very sorry.
06/01/2010 at 7:24 pm
Thank you for updating us during this very difficult time. I will encourage donations in Henry’s honor. Your family is in my thoughts, Katie.
06/01/2010 at 7:26 pm
Wonderful idea to help even more kids. I know just in my own circle so many conversations have occurred, and so much love and caring between parents and kids. Henry has already left quite a legacy
06/01/2010 at 7:28 pm
Amen, what a good thing. There was a time in my oldest’s life that I would have asked for such help.
God Bless you and Henry’s memory will not be forgotten and prayers shall never stop for those in his shoes, still, and the families that have to make the gut wrenching choices as you all.
Love
Shellon North and family
06/01/2010 at 7:30 pm
Henry’s death has weighed so heavy on my mind. Several weeks before Henry was hospitalized, a college friend died of cancer. It’s all got me thinking about impermanence and trying not to take so much for granted in my life — my family, my friends, my health. I thought you might appreciate this poem. I’m going to hang it in my bathroom and try to remember to read it each morning while I brush my teeth.
Otherwise
by Jane Kenyon
©2005 by the Estate of Jane Kenyon
I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birchwood.
All morning I did
the work I love.
At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.
06/01/2010 at 7:39 pm
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. While I’ve dealt with some of the less lethal affects of addictions in teenagers, I’ve been fortunate in not having the sorrow you are dealing with. Let no one tell you that you were less than good parents to Henry, because those of us who have a basis of comparison know that despite the best efforts of true parents like you, addiction is insidious and beyond the reach of rehabilitation for so many. I pray for you and your family, that you are able to get through this with as much succor and comfort as is needed. And you’ll get to celebrate a new life in a few weeks!
Tray M.
06/01/2010 at 7:42 pm
Your love for Henry has been inspiring parents for many years. The fact that he has been so very much loved will continue to help other families.
06/01/2010 at 7:43 pm
I don’t even know you, at all (came via dooce), and my coworker/friend and I sat here this afternoon and read, and cried. I’m so sorry. What a beautiful boy, and what an impossible thing for you to go through. He looked and sounded like a wonderful human being, and I’m so sorry he was here such a short time. I love that you’re remembering him by leaving goodness, and hope, and prevention in his memory. It’s terrible and unthinkable that your family has to have this hole in it. But maybe because of Henry, and because of you, the next family won’t.
06/01/2010 at 7:50 pm
I have been thinking of you and Henry all day. I am in the process of printing out all your posts on him to save for my daughter to read some day (she is only 5 now).
The endowment fund is a wonderful thing and I will be sending a check along. Sending love to your whole family — from a stranger in New York. xxoo.
06/01/2010 at 7:53 pm
My heart breaks for you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Love to you and your beautiful family. Sending you peace.
06/01/2010 at 8:11 pm
I can’t tell you how sad I am for you and the whole family, and how much I’m thinking of you all. This is just truly heartbreaking. I feel lucky to have known Henry in his early years.
I *so* wish I could be there Saturday – I’m hoping my mom Dixie will be there in my place.
Sending so much love to you, Chris, the kids, and everyone else in your family.
06/01/2010 at 8:12 pm
my heart aches and breaks for you. Don’t add to the tragedy by holding yourself responsible. Many people have already said it: this could have happened to any of us. What a beautiful boy. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
06/01/2010 at 8:12 pm
Dear Katie, I am so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you and your family.
06/01/2010 at 8:16 pm
We are thinking of you with love and hope. Thank you for telling us of the service so friends may help you celebrate the life of your child.
06/01/2010 at 8:18 pm
I’ve been silently reading along and praying for some time now…I’m so sorry.
06/01/2010 at 8:21 pm
Katie,
My boyz and I are planning on coming.
Love, hugs, and lots of warmth,
The Hubbell-Staeble fam
06/01/2010 at 8:32 pm
My nephew is struggling with heroin addiction, and your horrible loss brings home very clearly what we may be facing with Tim.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss — Your blog posts about Henry show just what a beautiful, loving kid he was, he is too soon gone from this world. Much love to you and prayers being sent out for you to get through it all.
06/01/2010 at 8:37 pm
Katie – My heart goes out to you and your family. I can not begin to imagine the pain of losing your beautiful son. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. . .wishing you peace and comfort in the arms of those who love you.
06/01/2010 at 8:41 pm
I will be there in spirit and prayer Katie.
I’ll be praying that because of the message you are sending out to people; parents will be fearless in confronting the spectre of drugs in our families’ lives.
I’ll be praying that the money in this fund will not be needed.
What a wondrous miracle that would be.
Love, peace, and strength to you
06/01/2010 at 8:52 pm
I stumbled upon your blog and like many others, became entranced by your sweet Henry. I found the blog only a day before his passing, and read his story from the beginning- and what a powerful one it is. You should be commended for not hanging your head in shame, b/c there is NOTHING to be shameful of. As I looked back thru all of your family pics, I see a wonderful, LOVING, family- a family I would wish for everyone to experience. I have 3 children myself and one of my kids has a lot of behavioral issues– so different from my other two children. You would never guess they came from the same parenting
. If people were judging me based on him I would look like a horrible parent- yet parent of the year with my other two!! You have so many people on your side- ignore the few that have snide comments to make- THEY are not living in the real world. What a wonderful thing you are doing for your Henry- making this foundation in his name to help others. He would be so proud of you. His death will never be in vain, as you can see the amazing amount of people he has touched with his story. My heart aches for you and your family- I pray that the days ahead will provide some healing. I hope you are able to look into your newborn’s eyes soon and see your precious Henry in them. Thank you again for sharing your story, and your beautiful boy with all of us.
06/01/2010 at 9:09 pm
I’m just aching for all of you. I’m so sorry.
06/01/2010 at 9:19 pm
What a beautiful way to honor his memory. If I can’t make it in person on Saturday, know that I’ll be with you in spirit.
06/01/2010 at 9:19 pm
Thank you for sharing the details. I will be honored to be there. There is clearly so much about Henry’s life that is worthy of celebration.
06/01/2010 at 9:29 pm
My heart just breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your entire family during this tragic time. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful son and his story with all of us readers. What a wonderful thing you are doing with the Memorial Fund in Henry’s name to help other families in their time of need.
My sincere condolences,
Aimee
06/01/2010 at 9:33 pm
Another momma passing by who did not find there way here until now. How is it that I cannot know your family at all Katie, and yet, I have fought back tears all day for your extreme loss? I look at your son’s beautiful face and I see eyes and a smile that look my own child.. we are the ame age and so are they…and while I only imagine the pain..I hurt for you all living it.
I made my Garin promise to read the story of Henry today and then to pass it on to his friends too. We also work with a local group Awareness group for trouble kids at risk and I will share your words with them as well.
Someplace,somewhere, sometime.. someone else’s son will make a better choice so his mother will never ever have to feel the same pain. That’s all I can give you right now.. it is not much, but it is all that I have.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss of such a beautiful soul.
06/01/2010 at 9:45 pm
we have never met, but I learned of your heartbreaking story through my relative, Allyson & a post she did on FB. I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son & the struggles he had at the end of his too short life. Please don’t let any mean & insentitive things people post bother you – people are so quick to judge when they haven’t walked in another’s shoes. You are doing such a wonderful thing to honor your son’s memory with the foundation. I wish words could take away your family’s pain right now, but they can’t, so please know that I am praying for you & holding your family in my thoughts.
06/01/2010 at 9:55 pm
My heart is breaking for you. Sending love and prayers to your beautiful Henry and your family. I wish I could do more.
06/01/2010 at 10:53 pm
So saddened by your loss…. Through all of this I have really had a reality check with my own Children and hope and pray that they have as well. Knowing that anyone can suffer and come in harms way because of such things is oh surreal! I am definitely coming to memorialize H and my family will be there as well as some of their friends that knew H or knew of him. I also admire you so much for what you are doing in H’s memory.. There are so many kids out there that could use the help and families who can’t afford it! Hold your head high and when that precious baby is born know that H will be there with you in heart and the baby will bring such joy at such a sad time in your life. I wish there was something I could say or do to take your pain and sorrow from you and if it were possible I would. Take ease and know that he is in such a better place with no pain or suffering playing his music for all to hear!!! God Bless you and keep you and shower you with his Grace, Amen…
06/02/2010 at 12:29 am
I have no words, except that I am so profoundly sorry.
Your family will be in our family’s thoughts and prayers.
06/02/2010 at 12:37 am
Dear Katie, absolutely the only good thing about the last weeks is that you and your family know that Henry left this world knowing how much he was loved. That is not something we all are privileged to have, but he came back to you after the terrible injury just enough to let you tell him and show him how much you loved him, and enough for all of you to begin to say your good-byes. I have spent the last weeks thinking of you, and taking every chance to tell my family and friends I loved them, because you and Henry have reminded me how precious and fleeting our lives are.
Barbara M.
06/02/2010 at 12:54 am
Katie,
I’ve been reading your words and looking at pictures of you and Henry………. praying that words would come……….words to comfort you at a time when comfort seems so far out of reach. But there are no words, no hugs, nothing that can change this….. I will tell you that I love you….your joy….your energy….your encouragement…..your laughter………your kindness…..your generosity… because above all else, love comes first, it is why were are here… all that really matters. What a beautiful love story you shared with your son…..what a glorious gift to be treasured. The foundation is the perfect idea. My prayers will continue and I’m ready to do whatever you need!!
06/02/2010 at 12:59 am
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Your son is at peace and I hope you and your family can find peace and serenity in the future.
06/02/2010 at 1:07 am
I am so sorry. I’ve read about you and your family in the KNS since your older children were little and have followed you since. I am so sorry for your loss beyond what words can express.
06/02/2010 at 2:03 am
Thank you for sharing Henry’s story, and for inspiring me and thousands of other parents to reach out to their children. I am so sorry for your loss, and wish you comfort and peace. You are in my prayers.
Karen
06/02/2010 at 4:15 am
I was teenage heroin addict who put my parents through hell- now I have two sons and I am terrified that they will follow in the same direction. Your story is heartbreaking but always remember that both your words and your actions are going to help in preventing the same thing from happening to many other families. My prayers are with you and your family Katie.
06/02/2010 at 4:57 am
I don’t have many words but I’m truly sorry for what happened and it has struck many chords for me to do with my sister. What you’re doing is great.
Big kiss on all of your heads and remember the good times
xxx
06/02/2010 at 5:32 am
I stand with you, staring in horror at the Henry-shaped hole in the world. It is unthinkable that the sheer force of our love cannot stop them from going … I have thought of little else for days, Katie. There are no words for this loss.
06/02/2010 at 5:43 am
i will continue to hold you in my prayers and especially at 10:00 on saturday.
06/02/2010 at 6:13 am
I don’t know you. I don’t have children. I have an acquaintance whose son was murdered a year ago, in a drug-related robbery.
I read about you on Crib Chronicles, which I subscribe to because I love Bon’s writing. Then I spent the entire day figuring out how to read your blog when the server was down (I subscribed to the feed), and reading back as far as I could. I couldn’t seem to stop.
I can’t give you anything but prayers, virtual hugs, and a stranger’s love. Katie, you have these.
06/02/2010 at 6:13 am
Katie, you don’t know me but I feel so privileged to have had a window into your world. I am sorrier than I can say to hear of Henry’s passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. I wish you every comfort in the coming days, and weeks, and months, and years.
06/02/2010 at 6:59 am
You are such a loving and thoughtful family to help others in this meaningful way. What a tribute to Henry. I’m blown away by your generosity and sensitivity in what is your time of need. What a family.
06/02/2010 at 7:14 am
I think about you and your family every day. I have three children of my own, and I can only imagine your pain.
By establishing the fund in your son’s name, you are doing the best thing that you can. Best of luck to you and your family.
06/02/2010 at 7:33 am
We have been touched by and will remember Henry, this beautiful being.
So much love and strength to you and yours.
06/02/2010 at 7:34 am
Ms. Katie,
I’m sure this has been an exasperating experience for your family, of which some parts can be put into words and some emotions may never adequately be explained. “Sorry” doesn’t seem sufficient. I have a son who is 18 and just graduated and raising him has been chock full of challenges and triumphs. I have read your blogs – backwards, looking for clues and information as to how to possibly prevent this from happening to our family. My son does not have substance abuse issues or propensities. At the same time, to ‘unleash’ him into this sometimes mean and cruel world is none-the-less frightening.
Just know that you did what you could as a mother. And those who feel that teling your story was somehow a betrayal, probably themselves have a pepetual parting of the ways with reality. Some people want to keep their heads in the clouds about the realities of the world and they don’t want to hear about your trials either. But a larger majority of us want to participate in the community of knowing. That’s how we learn. That’s how we share.
Your blogs have inspired conversations between parents and teens that may have never happened or happened so quickly. Perhaps your experience, information, and advice may save another family from this kind of tragedy. You made the right decision to go public. Please don’t ever doubt that. And if anyone questions you, tell them they haven’t been in your shoes and if they don’t understand, that’s their problem to deal with privately. You can live your life for the comfort of others, especially those you don’t know. Your son’s passing, although it will always be a great source of sadness, will not be in vain. There is meaning on the other side.
We also want justice for your son and for your family and hope that the authorities will arrest and a conviction will arise from their investigation.
Your family is in our prayers.
06/02/2010 at 7:59 am
I will encourage donations in Henry’s honor. Much love.
06/02/2010 at 8:03 am
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I’m so sorry for your profound loss. May your fond memories bring peace.
“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.”
“Though much is taken; much abides…”
— Alfred Lord Tennyson
06/02/2010 at 8:09 am
I will be there in spirit. You are all in my thoughts.
06/02/2010 at 8:09 am
God bless you – the fund is a wonderful idea.
06/02/2010 at 8:11 am
Hi, I am from the Netherlands and came across your site via Petra’s weblog. I do not know exactly which words to use but I just want to let you know that I am thinking of your son and you and the rest of your family. I can not imagin how all of you must be feeling. I am very sorry for your loss.
06/02/2010 at 8:28 am
Right now, I wish I lived closer to you so I could be there on Saturday. Instead, I will think of you all that morning.
My first thoughts this morning when I woke were of you. Once again, I am so sorry. Your beautiful boy won’t be forgotten.
06/02/2010 at 8:31 am
I hope you don’t think this to be an inappropriate time to comment. I don’t know you but recently found your blog. I have a son struggling with addiction. My heart goes out to you. The fund that you have started is something that’s been on my heart to do. I will certainly be contributing and would be very interested in helping you with any future endeavors to help families struggling with addiction.
My son’s addiction has taken my voice away.
06/02/2010 at 8:36 am
I have been so taken with your beautiful son’s photographs: his winsome smile,the sweetness that radiates from the photos.
I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you and your family.
Parents do the best they can. Addiction is a disease that’s hard to fight, really hard. And sometimes, nothing anyone can do is enough. I can see from your blog what a wonderful, loving family you are. Henry was lucky to have been part of this and you lucky to have him.
Sometimes, souls are just too beautiful for this world. Maybe this was the case with Henry, that God called him back so young because he was needed.
His story and your writing about it has already inspired discussions among parents and children. It is likely to save lives. That’s not the same as having him back, I know. But it is an important legacy.
I have published your fund information on my blog: http://www.middle-aged-diva.blogspot.com and on my Facebook page.
Am thinking of you and your family with love and holding you in the light.
06/02/2010 at 8:39 am
My heart is utterly broken for you and your family. Please accept my condolences and wishes for peace and healing. -Christine
06/02/2010 at 8:50 am
My heart goes out to you and your family Katie. As a mother of a drug addict I certainly know that you did everything that you could do to help your son. I will be picking my son up on Friday afternoon for his first unsupervised week-end out of rehab. This is his third time in a long term program and he has been in this program for six months. I am scared to death! I just pray that this is the program that will work for him and that God will be looking after him every step of the way. I am so far one of the lucky moms that still has her son after many many year of drug use. He is now 28 years old and started using at the age of 12. I pray for you and your family and the peace that you have in knowing that you were the best mom that you could be! I have learned that as a mom of a drug addict you can’t just “LOVE THEIR ADDICTION AWAY”, that enables them to continue.
06/02/2010 at 8:53 am
My heart breaks for you, and I (somewhat) understand what you are going thru. I lost my husband to the effects of a pain pill addiction, leaving me a widow with a 5 month old baby. Gather your family close and find comfort from each other. Praying for all of you, that you find healing as you work your way thru the coming weeks.
06/02/2010 at 8:55 am
My son, who amazingly resembles Henry, has been struggling with mental illness since age 5 and addiction issues since he turned 18. He’s 22 now, been through rehab once but the self-medicating
continues. It’s a daily battle that breaks a mother’s heart as I struggle to keep him out of harm’s way. My own broken heart goes out to you and your family. You have done a very brave thing by speaking out and you have helped others in the process. God bless you and prayers for strength and peace in the coming days.
06/02/2010 at 8:58 am
My thoughts are with you and your family, I am amazed at your strength through all of this, hang in there and I hope you are blessed with a healthy, happy baby.
06/02/2010 at 9:15 am
My sincere condolences to you and your family. Thank you for sharing this with us.
06/02/2010 at 9:22 am
Dear Katie – i wanted to tell you that my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family now – i know you have been through so much and my heart breaks at the news of your son’s passing – how i wish i could turn back time for you – i hope there is comfort in that his suffering has ended and he is whole again and at peace –
i worked at the AOC and knew your mother, Sue, a very sweet lady too – Please know our thoughts are with you all – God Bless You –
Karen Sprouse -
06/02/2010 at 9:23 am
I am so very sorry for your loss of your beloved Henry. You are very brave to tell this story, in order to help other parents and children going thru difficulties with addiction. Your son has goodness and beauty, and I thank you for sharing him.
06/02/2010 at 9:29 am
My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Henry has already made a difference and affected so many lives. I know he ( and your willingness to share ) has made a positive impact on so many families. Such a difficult thing for you to do, yet you did it. Thank You.
One day the memories will bring smiles instead of tears. I pray you and your family find strength in each other.
06/02/2010 at 9:30 am
Katie – as a mother and a person who has lived around addiction my whole life (I lost my sister 6 years ago), my heart is in pieces for you.
I wrote about you and Henry today on my blog. I hope, in the sharing, there is some comfort.
Here’s to Henry and his life.
06/02/2010 at 9:34 am
We did the best that we could. And yet, our sons became addicts. I am afraid. And I cry for you and your family.
06/02/2010 at 9:50 am
Katie — I do not know you at all. I was directed to your site by Zoot yesterday. I too have a beautiful boy (middle name Henry) with thick beautiful hair. Your story gave me a chance to sit and talk to my boy and let him know your pain. I thank you. Any chance I have to keep that dialogue open is priceless.
I shall be sending a check to Henry’s fund. I pray it will go unused by anyone else’s baby.
06/02/2010 at 10:00 am
I’m so, so sorry Katie, for you and your entire family. Wordlessly sorry.
06/02/2010 at 10:01 am
I can’t help but think that we should all be as lucky as Henry, to be surrounded by such pure love as he was, as we finish our journey on earth. What a privilege is must be to have your mother and father with you every step of the way. What a gift.
06/02/2010 at 10:21 am
I am so very sorry for your loss. I think the notion of a fund for drug treatment is wonderful. As a prosecutor, I see so many young people with addiction problems who have no treatment options at all. I pray some good will come out of this tragedy. I will be making a donation in his honor and in honor of my friendship with Sue.
06/02/2010 at 10:30 am
You do not know me, but I am sorry for your loss. The fund you are setting up is a good idea and a good memorial to your son, who blazed for too short a time in this world. Take care.
J.P.
Lexington, KY
06/02/2010 at 10:48 am
I too continue to think of you and Henry. I am one of your readers who had several family members with addictions while growing up in her family. Again I am so sorry for your loss and wish I had something else to offer besides inadequate words. I am heartened that you made the decision to spend every moment of your available time with Henry. You will always have that. Henry will always have that. Henry passed on knowing that his family loved him, especially that you loved him unconditionally. Please do not underestimate the power of that. Many people in Henry’s circumstances die alone. I hope that your decision to be with and for Henry after his brain injury/od brings you great peace in your journey forward. I thank you and your family again for your courage and for sharing Henry’s experience. My deepest sympathy to you and your loved ones.
06/02/2010 at 10:50 am
You are so brave to share all this. Please know that your entire family is in my prayers. I know that God can comfort us in the worse trials; I hope you are feeling His love and love of so many people around the country.
06/02/2010 at 11:13 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot get Henry’s story out of my head – it haunts my mind…I am so sad for him, for you, your family. You words have invaded my head about being aware and talking to my children – on Sunday at a bbq parents were talking about this very thing – drugs and alcohol – how soon is too soon? What, if anything, do you say? Do you let the 1st time slide because everyone tries it “one time”? I am 100% of my answer now, thanks to your and Henry’s story. My heart is to heavy for you. I will support your foundation – addiction is so tough, having a close who battled it I commend you for taking Henry’s tragedy and helping others. May God bless you and your family. Much love, Beth from SJ.
06/02/2010 at 11:36 am
I am glad Henry is no longer suffering, may he rest in peace.
06/02/2010 at 11:42 am
“The memories of all the blissful moments I have enjoyed with you come crowding over me, and I feel most deeply grateful to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long…My dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have sometimes been!
“But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be with you; in the brightest day and in the darkest night….always, always. And when the a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, and the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for me, for we shall meet again…”
(An excerpt from the Ashokan Farewell, written to his wife by Major Sullivan Ballou of the 2nd Rhode Island, from The Civil War documentary by Ken Burns. Major Ballou was killed a week later at First Manassas.)
God bless.
06/02/2010 at 11:47 am
I am so sorry for your loss. My brother has been an addict for more than 30 years, and I have been diligent in talking to my children about drugs, starting from practically birth. Please know that Henry’s story WILL save lives. I hope that can be some comfort. God Bless, and thank you for sharing.
06/02/2010 at 12:17 pm
I just started following your story, but wanted to offer my sympathies as well. I’m just heartsick with mourning for your family, I can’t stop thinking about what you’re going through, which I know must sound so strange coming from a stranger. My children are only 3 and 5, but your story has triggered the real fear and realization that I will lose them to their own wiles someday…and then who knows. What’s most terrifying is that you seem like a very good mother, and I can’t imagine doing any better. I don’t know how much more you want to share of your story, but I’m eager to listen to and learn from anything you have to say. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
06/02/2010 at 12:45 pm
Katie, God can come into any evil and create blessing. It may not seem like it now, but the shear beauty of your child will draw people’s hearts to him. And your strength (and believe me, you have it!) will cause you to become an activist, both for other people’s children and against the evil streets, and you will save many many children from this danger and many many mothers from this heartache. Henry did not die in vain, I promise you. God will use his beauty and your strength to help countless others. Like countless others, I was left heartbroken for this child and his family, but there is a Henry on every block in America these days, and his incredible beauty will imprint him face on every heart and give you a place to bring your message. God bless you.
06/02/2010 at 12:59 pm
I am truley sorry for your loss. After reading this I can’t get Henry’s story out of my head and am afraid of the struggles I have with my son now may turn into something that of yours
Ireally hope you can get the scholarship thing up and going, but can it include that of those with SEVERE ADHD & ByPolar? Usually children with these two things comes the alcohol and drug abuse and my 12 year old with this diagnosis is already starting to dable and I’m scared! My 28 year old brother is also ByPolar and struggles with drug abuse and is VERY suicidle as we speak 
I need help, so if anyone has any suggestions, please send them my way!! To Henry and his Life…….
06/02/2010 at 3:20 pm
To Lorie:
My sons addiction started at the age of 12 and he is now 28. He is in a Bible based rehab program now that seems to be working. They have a 90% recovery rate. My son was to the the point that he had no hope, we had no hope. After many years in different programs, more money than I will ever be able to repay and many tears and sleepless nights I finally have my son back. I know that there is always that chance that he can slip back into it because he is and will always will be a Drug Addict but, I finally feel like he has a chance at life. I can’t post info about the facility on this site but if you would like to email me at robincameron01@gmail.com I would be happy to give you information about the program. You do need help….none of us can deal with this alone. God bless you and your family!
06/02/2010 at 3:30 pm
I am so sorry for you and your family. I have been following ‘Henry’s story
through blog posts and I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your bravery
in sharing his story.
06/02/2010 at 6:02 pm
we are with you Katie, and family. Thank you for sharing your story. It resonates with so many. We are so very, very sorry for your loss. You are strong and brave, and a wonderful mother.
With love,
Emily, Keith, Lauren, and jack Hulse
06/02/2010 at 11:15 pm
Dear Katie,
I just found your blog through the mothering dot commune. A friend and neighbor of mine just lost her son to drugs in March. When I first saw her, 1 day after she learned that her son was dead, I hugged and told her my heart was breaking for her. Her response was, “At least he is not in pain anymore. He spent his whole life in pain.”
Thank you for sharing your son’s story. For your brave honesty. If I ever see my children using drugs I will be aware that they may be looking for a release of their pain. And I pray I will be able to guide them to other resources/releases.
May the happy memories of your son carry you through your sorrow.
May you never forget to share his memory with his siblings.
May your sadness diminish.
Peace, Joy, Love and Light to you and your family.
06/03/2010 at 1:26 am
Hi Katie & family.
I don’t know you, as I’m sure many people don’t, but your story touched me today. I don’t think I did much work at work, or was very functional. I am so sorry for your loss. Your son and your struggles for your son have deeply touched me today. I am damn lucky that my baby brother didn’t have the same ending as your son has had. Or my older brother. Regardless, I thank you for naming that your son is an addict – so much societal trapping goes along with that.
I wish you much peace as you go through this time. I can’t imagine being in your shoes. And I’m, as I said, g-damned lucky that Noah didn’t have the same story.
Peace and light and love and joy to your family. You inspired me to send a donation, just b/c of the luck that has been afforded to me. Thank you.
Noelle
06/03/2010 at 6:50 am
Oh Katie I’m so so very sorry. I am wishing you much peace right now, and the strength and support of those who love you – whether in person or across the ether.
06/03/2010 at 6:58 am
Never the Spirit is Born
The spirit will never cease to be never
Never the time when it was not.
End and beginning are dreams Birth and deathless and changeless
Remains the spirit forever.
Death has not touched it at all
Dead though the house of it seems.
06/03/2010 at 7:45 am
Katie-
I am so sorry about the loss of your beautiful boy.
It’s not fair.
Thank you for sharing his story. I’ve been thinking about you, him, and your family constantly.
Kristina
06/03/2010 at 4:20 pm
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this with all of us, and thank you for being the kind of person to start a fund for families who do not have the financial means to help their loved ones with their addictions.
06/03/2010 at 11:53 pm
I am so sorry to hear that this has happened. I am on vacation and will not be able to make it to the gathering. I have been praying for Henry and I will still be parying for your family. I am so sorry and I really wish there was something I could do to make this better but I know that at this moment nothing will help. I am so sorry that I will not be able to make it on Saturday but my thoughts are with you
I am praying for you,
Meghan
06/04/2010 at 7:25 pm
The scholarship fund is the best idea I’ve ever heard. My son, too, is a young addict. He is still in the ‘forest’ and since he is now over 18 with no insurance (and we had to have him arrested to get in-patient help for him when he was underage!) I know that there is an extreme lack of real help for many addicts out there. I’m glad that maybe the scholarship fund may be able to provide treatment and thus, a new life for some young addict out there. What an honorable, lasting and meaningful tribute to Henry. Peace be with you.
06/05/2010 at 3:52 pm
Thank your for sharing your story with all of us. Many who have never met you share your grief and will remember your strength in fighting for your wonderful boy. Sending love and strength your way.
06/05/2010 at 4:43 pm
Is there a way to donate via paypal? I would very much like to make a contribution, but I live overseas.
thank you for the opportunity to help.
06/06/2010 at 10:41 am
To Henry’s Family -
There are no words that can ease the pain of Henry’s passing. No poem, no song, no words of encouragement. We are with you on your journey. We surround you with love and peace. We walk with you all in the valley of the shadow. You are not alone. There are many of us who have lost children…to drugs…to drunk drivers…to illness. There are many of us and we stand with you. I send my love to you. Henry’s song continues. The dance of life in him continues. And love wins. Love always wins.
elle