Confirmed plans:
10 am – Receiving of friends at St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral in Downtown Knoxville
11:30 am – Service celebrating Henry’s life at St. John’s Episcopal Cathedral in Downtown Knoxville Please don’t wear black – wear something that makes you feel happy. Please bring fresh picked and fresh cut flowers for all of the children at the service to lay at the altar
Casual reception to follow at our house – beginning at 2:15 pm
Directions available by email or at the service
Our family is starting what we hope will become a permanent, endowed fund that will provide scholarships for families who cannot afford to pay for needed drug and alcohol treatment programs for their children. In lieu of flowers, we ask that you remember our boy and his struggles by considering a donation to:
The Henry Louis Granju Memorial Scholarship Fund
c/o Administrator: James Anderson
Morgan Stanley Smith Barney
2000 Meridian Blvd.
Suite 290
Franklin, TN 37067
Much love,
Katie, Chris, Melissa, Jon, Jane, Elliot, Charlotte and the rest of the Granju, Allison, Anderson, Hickman and Tant families
91 Responses to “UPDATED DETAILS: In Celebration of Henry”
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you are doing a good thing, a thing that will help.
i will remember Henry, his struggles, the beauty that shines from his pictures.
you and he were on my heart this morning: http://cribchronicles.com/2010/06/01/mamas-gonna-buy-you-a-mockingbird/
again, i am so very sorry.
Thank you for updating us during this very difficult time. I will encourage donations in Henry’s honor. Your family is in my thoughts, Katie.
Wonderful idea to help even more kids. I know just in my own circle so many conversations have occurred, and so much love and caring between parents and kids. Henry has already left quite a legacy
Amen, what a good thing. There was a time in my oldest’s life that I would have asked for such help.
God Bless you and Henry’s memory will not be forgotten and prayers shall never stop for those in his shoes, still, and the families that have to make the gut wrenching choices as you all.
Love
Shellon North and family
Henry’s death has weighed so heavy on my mind. Several weeks before Henry was hospitalized, a college friend died of cancer. It’s all got me thinking about impermanence and trying not to take so much for granted in my life — my family, my friends, my health. I thought you might appreciate this poem. I’m going to hang it in my bathroom and try to remember to read it each morning while I brush my teeth.
Otherwise
by Jane Kenyon
©2005 by the Estate of Jane Kenyon
I got out of bed
on two strong legs.
It might have been
otherwise. I ate
cereal, sweet
milk, ripe, flawless
peach. It might
have been otherwise.
I took the dog uphill
to the birchwood.
All morning I did
the work I love.
At noon I lay down
with my mate. It might
have been otherwise.
We ate dinner together
at a table with silver
candlesticks. It might
have been otherwise.
I slept in a bed
in a room with paintings
on the walls, and
planned another day
just like this day.
But one day, I know,
it will be otherwise.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss. While I’ve dealt with some of the less lethal affects of addictions in teenagers, I’ve been fortunate in not having the sorrow you are dealing with. Let no one tell you that you were less than good parents to Henry, because those of us who have a basis of comparison know that despite the best efforts of true parents like you, addiction is insidious and beyond the reach of rehabilitation for so many. I pray for you and your family, that you are able to get through this with as much succor and comfort as is needed. And you’ll get to celebrate a new life in a few weeks!
Tray M.
Your love for Henry has been inspiring parents for many years. The fact that he has been so very much loved will continue to help other families.
I don’t even know you, at all (came via dooce), and my coworker/friend and I sat here this afternoon and read, and cried. I’m so sorry. What a beautiful boy, and what an impossible thing for you to go through. He looked and sounded like a wonderful human being, and I’m so sorry he was here such a short time. I love that you’re remembering him by leaving goodness, and hope, and prevention in his memory. It’s terrible and unthinkable that your family has to have this hole in it. But maybe because of Henry, and because of you, the next family won’t.
I have been thinking of you and Henry all day. I am in the process of printing out all your posts on him to save for my daughter to read some day (she is only 5 now).
The endowment fund is a wonderful thing and I will be sending a check along. Sending love to your whole family — from a stranger in New York. xxoo.
My heart breaks for you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. Love to you and your beautiful family. Sending you peace.
I can’t tell you how sad I am for you and the whole family, and how much I’m thinking of you all. This is just truly heartbreaking. I feel lucky to have known Henry in his early years.
I *so* wish I could be there Saturday – I’m hoping my mom Dixie will be there in my place.
Sending so much love to you, Chris, the kids, and everyone else in your family.
my heart aches and breaks for you. Don’t add to the tragedy by holding yourself responsible. Many people have already said it: this could have happened to any of us. What a beautiful boy. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Dear Katie, I am so sorry for your loss. I am thinking of you and your family.
We are thinking of you with love and hope. Thank you for telling us of the service so friends may help you celebrate the life of your child.
I’ve been silently reading along and praying for some time now…I’m so sorry.
Katie,
My boyz and I are planning on coming.
Love, hugs, and lots of warmth,
The Hubbell-Staeble fam
My nephew is struggling with heroin addiction, and your horrible loss brings home very clearly what we may be facing with Tim.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss — Your blog posts about Henry show just what a beautiful, loving kid he was, he is too soon gone from this world. Much love to you and prayers being sent out for you to get through it all.
Katie – My heart goes out to you and your family. I can not begin to imagine the pain of losing your beautiful son. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. . .wishing you peace and comfort in the arms of those who love you.
I will be there in spirit and prayer Katie.
I’ll be praying that because of the message you are sending out to people; parents will be fearless in confronting the spectre of drugs in our families’ lives.
I’ll be praying that the money in this fund will not be needed.
What a wondrous miracle that would be.
Love, peace, and strength to you
I stumbled upon your blog and like many others, became entranced by your sweet Henry. I found the blog only a day before his passing, and read his story from the beginning- and what a powerful one it is. You should be commended for not hanging your head in shame, b/c there is NOTHING to be shameful of. As I looked back thru all of your family pics, I see a wonderful, LOVING, family- a family I would wish for everyone to experience. I have 3 children myself and one of my kids has a lot of behavioral issues– so different from my other two children. You would never guess they came from the same parenting
. If people were judging me based on him I would look like a horrible parent- yet parent of the year with my other two!! You have so many people on your side- ignore the few that have snide comments to make- THEY are not living in the real world. What a wonderful thing you are doing for your Henry- making this foundation in his name to help others. He would be so proud of you. His death will never be in vain, as you can see the amazing amount of people he has touched with his story. My heart aches for you and your family- I pray that the days ahead will provide some healing. I hope you are able to look into your newborn’s eyes soon and see your precious Henry in them. Thank you again for sharing your story, and your beautiful boy with all of us.
I’m just aching for all of you. I’m so sorry.
What a beautiful way to honor his memory. If I can’t make it in person on Saturday, know that I’ll be with you in spirit.
Thank you for sharing the details. I will be honored to be there. There is clearly so much about Henry’s life that is worthy of celebration.
My heart just breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your entire family during this tragic time. Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful son and his story with all of us readers. What a wonderful thing you are doing with the Memorial Fund in Henry’s name to help other families in their time of need.
My sincere condolences,
Aimee
Another momma passing by who did not find there way here until now. How is it that I cannot know your family at all Katie, and yet, I have fought back tears all day for your extreme loss? I look at your son’s beautiful face and I see eyes and a smile that look my own child.. we are the ame age and so are they…and while I only imagine the pain..I hurt for you all living it.
I made my Garin promise to read the story of Henry today and then to pass it on to his friends too. We also work with a local group Awareness group for trouble kids at risk and I will share your words with them as well.
Someplace,somewhere, sometime.. someone else’s son will make a better choice so his mother will never ever have to feel the same pain. That’s all I can give you right now.. it is not much, but it is all that I have.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss of such a beautiful soul.
we have never met, but I learned of your heartbreaking story through my relative, Allyson & a post she did on FB. I am so very, very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son & the struggles he had at the end of his too short life. Please don’t let any mean & insentitive things people post bother you – people are so quick to judge when they haven’t walked in another’s shoes. You are doing such a wonderful thing to honor your son’s memory with the foundation. I wish words could take away your family’s pain right now, but they can’t, so please know that I am praying for you & holding your family in my thoughts.
My heart is breaking for you. Sending love and prayers to your beautiful Henry and your family. I wish I could do more.
So saddened by your loss…. Through all of this I have really had a reality check with my own Children and hope and pray that they have as well. Knowing that anyone can suffer and come in harms way because of such things is oh surreal! I am definitely coming to memorialize H and my family will be there as well as some of their friends that knew H or knew of him. I also admire you so much for what you are doing in H’s memory.. There are so many kids out there that could use the help and families who can’t afford it! Hold your head high and when that precious baby is born know that H will be there with you in heart and the baby will bring such joy at such a sad time in your life. I wish there was something I could say or do to take your pain and sorrow from you and if it were possible I would. Take ease and know that he is in such a better place with no pain or suffering playing his music for all to hear!!! God Bless you and keep you and shower you with his Grace, Amen…
I have no words, except that I am so profoundly sorry.
Your family will be in our family’s thoughts and prayers.
Dear Katie, absolutely the only good thing about the last weeks is that you and your family know that Henry left this world knowing how much he was loved. That is not something we all are privileged to have, but he came back to you after the terrible injury just enough to let you tell him and show him how much you loved him, and enough for all of you to begin to say your good-byes. I have spent the last weeks thinking of you, and taking every chance to tell my family and friends I loved them, because you and Henry have reminded me how precious and fleeting our lives are.
Barbara M.
Katie,
I’ve been reading your words and looking at pictures of you and Henry………. praying that words would come……….words to comfort you at a time when comfort seems so far out of reach. But there are no words, no hugs, nothing that can change this….. I will tell you that I love you….your joy….your energy….your encouragement…..your laughter………your kindness…..your generosity… because above all else, love comes first, it is why were are here… all that really matters. What a beautiful love story you shared with your son…..what a glorious gift to be treasured. The foundation is the perfect idea. My prayers will continue and I’m ready to do whatever you need!!
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Your son is at peace and I hope you and your family can find peace and serenity in the future.
I am so sorry. I’ve read about you and your family in the KNS since your older children were little and have followed you since. I am so sorry for your loss beyond what words can express.
Thank you for sharing Henry’s story, and for inspiring me and thousands of other parents to reach out to their children. I am so sorry for your loss, and wish you comfort and peace. You are in my prayers.
Karen
I was teenage heroin addict who put my parents through hell- now I have two sons and I am terrified that they will follow in the same direction. Your story is heartbreaking but always remember that both your words and your actions are going to help in preventing the same thing from happening to many other families. My prayers are with you and your family Katie.
I don’t have many words but I’m truly sorry for what happened and it has struck many chords for me to do with my sister. What you’re doing is great.
Big kiss on all of your heads and remember the good times
xxx
I stand with you, staring in horror at the Henry-shaped hole in the world. It is unthinkable that the sheer force of our love cannot stop them from going … I have thought of little else for days, Katie. There are no words for this loss.
i will continue to hold you in my prayers and especially at 10:00 on saturday.
I don’t know you. I don’t have children. I have an acquaintance whose son was murdered a year ago, in a drug-related robbery.
I read about you on Crib Chronicles, which I subscribe to because I love Bon’s writing. Then I spent the entire day figuring out how to read your blog when the server was down (I subscribed to the feed), and reading back as far as I could. I couldn’t seem to stop.
I can’t give you anything but prayers, virtual hugs, and a stranger’s love. Katie, you have these.
Katie, you don’t know me but I feel so privileged to have had a window into your world. I am sorrier than I can say to hear of Henry’s passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. I wish you every comfort in the coming days, and weeks, and months, and years.
You are such a loving and thoughtful family to help others in this meaningful way. What a tribute to Henry. I’m blown away by your generosity and sensitivity in what is your time of need. What a family.
I think about you and your family every day. I have three children of my own, and I can only imagine your pain.
By establishing the fund in your son’s name, you are doing the best thing that you can. Best of luck to you and your family.
We have been touched by and will remember Henry, this beautiful being.
So much love and strength to you and yours.
Ms. Katie,
I’m sure this has been an exasperating experience for your family, of which some parts can be put into words and some emotions may never adequately be explained. “Sorry” doesn’t seem sufficient. I have a son who is 18 and just graduated and raising him has been chock full of challenges and triumphs. I have read your blogs – backwards, looking for clues and information as to how to possibly prevent this from happening to our family. My son does not have substance abuse issues or propensities. At the same time, to ‘unleash’ him into this sometimes mean and cruel world is none-the-less frightening.
Just know that you did what you could as a mother. And those who feel that teling your story was somehow a betrayal, probably themselves have a pepetual parting of the ways with reality. Some people want to keep their heads in the clouds about the realities of the world and they don’t want to hear about your trials either. But a larger majority of us want to participate in the community of knowing. That’s how we learn. That’s how we share.
Your blogs have inspired conversations between parents and teens that may have never happened or happened so quickly. Perhaps your experience, information, and advice may save another family from this kind of tragedy. You made the right decision to go public. Please don’t ever doubt that. And if anyone questions you, tell them they haven’t been in your shoes and if they don’t understand, that’s their problem to deal with privately. You can live your life for the comfort of others, especially those you don’t know. Your son’s passing, although it will always be a great source of sadness, will not be in vain. There is meaning on the other side.
We also want justice for your son and for your family and hope that the authorities will arrest and a conviction will arise from their investigation.
Your family is in our prayers.
I will encourage donations in Henry’s honor. Much love.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I’m so sorry for your profound loss. May your fond memories bring peace.
“If I had a flower for every time I thought of you…I could walk through my garden forever.”
“Though much is taken; much abides…”
— Alfred Lord Tennyson
I will be there in spirit. You are all in my thoughts.
God bless you – the fund is a wonderful idea.
Hi, I am from the Netherlands and came across your site via Petra’s weblog. I do not know exactly which words to use but I just want to let you know that I am thinking of your son and you and the rest of your family. I can not imagin how all of you must be feeling. I am very sorry for your loss.
Right now, I wish I lived closer to you so I could be there on Saturday. Instead, I will think of you all that morning.
My first thoughts this morning when I woke were of you. Once again, I am so sorry. Your beautiful boy won’t be forgotten.