In a few hours, our family will lay our 18 year old son to rest at his memorial servive.
I can’t sleep however, because I am so disturbed by statements apparently released to several media outlets late tonight by KCSO regarding Henry’s preliminary autopsy results – results which I only learned about for the first time after KCSO released them to the media, not because we heard they were ready or had been told of the results ourselves. Shouldn’t family be notified of autopsy results first?
It’s clear to me that KCSO has gone on the offensive with this case after weeks of us begging them to take some action – weeks during which Henry was hospitalized before his death. Given KCSO’s stance, I will now wait to let my lawyer (isn’t it crazy that a crime victim’s family needs their own lawyer?) advise me as to what I can and cannot say publicly going forward. I don’t want to argue publicly with KCSO. I never did. I have huge respect for the hard, underappreciated work that they do every day. I want to work cooperatively with them to investigate and find answers. I want them to communicate proactively and directly with me so we can tell them everything we know and they can share what they know with us.
However, given the way they have gone to the media at this point instead of coming to our family, I will say this:
-My son WAS assaulted badly while engaged in an illegal drug transaction in the 24-48 hours preceding his admission to the ER on April 27. He may have been buying or he may have been selling to support his habit. We aren’t sure. In either case he was clearly in the wrong by the fact that he was engaged in this drug activity, and had he not died, our son should have been fully investigated and held accountable for his own illegal activity -something we told the lead investigator repeatedly. We are IN NO WAY minimizing Henry’s own drug activity. He was a drug addict and he was behaving like one at the time he was assaulted.
However the fact that he was engaged in drug activity did not give anyone the right to beat him up, rob him and leave him with major physical injuries. Were there such injuries? Well, his medical records CLEARLY and CONSISTENTLY refer to the assault and its compounding physical impact on the other causative factor – the drug overdose.
Of course, Henry’s preliminary autopsy – released by KCSO – refers only to the specific cause of death FIVE WEEKS after his hospital admission. On that day, at that time, the cause of death was indeed complications of anoxic brain injury. No one disputes that. But it doesn’t mean that the beating he received had nothing to do with the brain injury in the first place. That’s like saying that someone who dies of heart failure five weeks after a car wreck that damaged his heart died of “heart failure.” That’s what the official autopsy results would say, but it doesn’t tell the whole story. Same thing with Henry; the anoxic brain injury was due to drug overdose AND the assault. His complete medical records, as opposed to the preliminary autopsy records alone make this abundantly clear. His doctors are willing and even eager to explain this to KCSO, should someone care to actually ask them.
And to top it off, young people all over Knox County know EXACTLY WHO ASSAULTED HENRY and what happened. These young people and in some cases, their parents have contacted us over the past month to tell us that they have information on the specifics of the assault that they want to share with authorities. I have given all of these leads to the KCSO investigator but as far as I know, the only people he has talked to are the suspects themselves, each of whom (obviously) tell a slightly different story. (Thanks to Cathy and Rich for blogging about the fact that kids around town know who beat Henry and what the circumtances were)
Also, these “friends” and “acquaintances” (that’s how KCSO refers to them when speaking to the media) who “found” Henry near death in their home on the morning of APril 27 declined to call 911 for hours as Henry lay dying and as others begged them to call for help need to be investigated THOROUGHLY. There is much, much, MUCH more to this part of the story. Yet no investigation of this element of the situation has taken place beyond cursory conversations with the “friends” who – not surprisingly – claim they did nothing wrong. How did they know Henry? Why was he in their house? Where did he get the drugs that caused him to OD in their house? Why hasn’t KCSO interviewed the two witnesses who have phone records proving they begged these “friends” for HOURS to call 911 as my son lay unconscious and vomiting on the “friends’” floor on the morning of the 27th?
In short, KCSO should not be publicly asserting that the case is essentially closed as far as they are concerned until they investigate all the evidence and leads (we’ve provided) surrounding this critical element of the factors that led to Henry’s death.
That’s all I can say right now, although there is so much more I want to say. It’s hard to stay silent when KCSO is actively releasing half truths and misleading “facts” to the media (one example being their assertion that I haven’t provided any useful leads to them. That’s simply false.)
We will have justice for Henry. It’s obviously going to be a slow, unpleasant process. I never, ever wanted to criticize KCSO and I still don’t. I just want to be treated with respect and I want my son’s investigation handled aggressively and thoroughly.
KCSO should not be communicating with our family only through the media. They should be calling us, inviting us in to discuss the case and telling us what direction the investigation has taken. They have never met with us in person EVEN ONE TIME, although we have made repeated calls to the lead investigator over the past five weeks. He did sometimes return our calls, but mostly to tell us that there really wasn’t any case as far as he was concerned because Henry had overdosed on drugs and that was that.
For today, I will take a deep breath and try to let go of the frustration I feel at this moment about how this is being handled by law enforecement and instead focus on spending a day celebrating my son’s life with everyone who loved him, and on caring for and consoling the three devastated younger siblings his death left behind.
But this isn’t the end. This is one mama – like others before me - who won’t be intimidated or by silenced.
I am boiling with anger right now. For you to have to deal with this, which I believe constitutes a personal assault, on the morning of your son's funeral is incomprehensible to me. And I don't care if they're going on the "defensive", there is a special place in hell for people that believe that going to the news with your son's autopsy results as opposed to meeting with your family face to face is the appropriate response. Those people who did this to your son will not go unpunished. In the same way, these people assaulting you and your family should be held responsible as well. I agree with the previous posters, contact your Senators if you haven't already, contact Oprah, contact Nancy Grace (she's insane but it would be a platform), anyone. If you need people to reach out for you, we will.
Katie, My heart aches so much for you. We have very similiar circumstances, yet when I try to even step into your shoes, my heart runs in terror. I am so, so, so sorry that this has happened to your families. The strength and grace in how you carry yourself is almost unfathomable. All of my prayers and positive thoughts are being sent to your family. Thank you for sharing your story.
Since our mutual friend Betsy posted your blog I have held you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Lifting you up to the universe.
My heart aches for you and your family. Stay strong and I wish for you the justice that you deserve.
Strength, peace, comfort to you.
cbm
From what I hear(and there is a lot being "heard") the responsible parties for the assault have done this before and it looks like they always get off of any accusations. This is a matter to be looked at carefully and with a magnifying glass… My heart goes out to you and your family.
Katie, I'm so sorry that you are being treated this way by the KCSO at this time. If you are willing and feel up to it, I'd like to tell you my experience dealing with police,how they investigate & how they deal/communicate with the victim's family. I have personal experience with this and feel I have some insight into it. It's not exactly the same thing, obviously, but I do know your frustration & disbelief. Give me a call if you'd like to. Sending hopeful thoughts your way!
Katie, I am so sorry for your loss, and for the added frustration and agony of dealing with the KCSO. You and your family are in my thoughts. I ache for you.
Oh dear…I'm still so very sorry all this is happening to you, and I can't believe they went through the media first. I hate to believe the KCSO can be so disingenuous, but their past such as dealing with Johnia Berry case prove it to be true. Please don't give up. Keep fighting for your sweet Henry, and know that the way they're handling this only wins you more support.
On another note, one of the most common occurrences in drug-related assaults is overdosing the victim after a bad beating so the cause of death doesn't look so obvious. While you may know this if this isn't the case, it should be something the KCSO is factoring in…that is, if they're working on the case at all!
Lots of good thoughts and prayers coming your way!
I am loathe to bring this up, but you need your own autopsy. A private one.
katie,
i am so very sorry to hear about your unimaginable loss. this is the first time i have ever commented about anything online…but i just have to tell you that your strength and honesty are inspiring. my prayers are with you and your family…especially your children in this impossibly difficult time. the photos of your son are astonishing…what a beautiful, beautiful boy.
My heart has been aching for all of you…and to have to deal with this from the law enforcement on top of all your grief? This shouldn't be so.
Our 23 year old son was assaulted and as he was running away he got hit by a drunk driver, which threw him up and then down on the road where a rib cut into the aorta.
A quick death, thankfully.
The police (Tempe, AZ) called his wife and told her that Neil had done something to somebody and had gotten beat up and killed. My son was in the air force and the police knew that information like that went through the military.
Needless to say, my daughter-in-law went crazy. Her father called me in East Tennessee to give me the news.
Neil would be thirty now. He had a lot to offer and he had empathy and concern for others and also was a lover of the underdog (I literally mean dogs).
Thankfully, my daughter-in-law brought Neil back to his home and he lays at rest here.
We did not get much help from the police; although, they did seem somewhat more sympathetic after we insisted that Neil would not have ever done anything to run away from.
We ended up trying to get criminal charges brought against the assaulter and the drunk driver.
The assaulter got off, probably due to a monied father who got him the best lawyer. The driver ended up with a dui.
We then brought civil charges against both of them, and settled out of court.
I am so sorry for you and your family. May God see you through this, both the heartache of losing a loved one and of going through the insanity and sheer why of what happened prior to his death.
You are alone, and you are not. There are many out there who have lost a young loved one. Not that it makes it easier for you, but please know that there are those out there who understand some of your grief. They want to hold you in their arms; they want to cry with you, to pray with you.
Now, every time I think or pray about my beloved Neil, I will be thinking of your beloved son.
God bless you, Katie.
God bless you and your family and what your going through. I too appreciate most of the people in the KCSO and their hard work but there have been times I know they have turned a blind eye. I have friends who have a drug dealer that lives in their neighborhood and the KCSO refuse to do anything after repeated calls because it is the son of a KCSO deputy. So maybe the reason they are resisting is because the persons of interest have friends or family in the KCSO. Isn't that how some of the girls got out of being prosecuted in the Christian/Newsom cases because they were related to someone in the KCSO? This is just a thought. Again, may God comfort you at this time and may Henry have justice.
Our stories are very different. Our stories are the same. You have buried your son. I have buried a daughter. Your son was 18 years old. My daughter was 8 1/2 hours old. Your journey of grief is just beginning. Mine started more than 20 years ago. You will become a mother who uses this tragedy to make something good from it. I just know that. I never thought I could turn my grief into anything positive, but I have. There is a universal cry, prayer and bond between mothers who bury their children. I did not want an invitation to this club but I had to deal with what life gave me. A child to love, a child to mourn, a child to remember, a child to honor……..a child to love..forever…a child I had to say goodbye to. It took years to say goodbye to Melissa. Go slow now, find the peace and acceptance slowly. It will be the hardest, longest journey of your life. I will pray for you for a very long time.
Ive been reading your blog only for a few days. I'm a single mom to five children, 3 of them teenagers. Your sons death was a horrible tragedy. I have prayed for peace for you and your family. This morning I told my children about Henry, and showed them his pictures. And ask them to please not ever do drugs, because people are crazy and drug dealers/buyers can turn into really bad people. And asked them to please never let me have to experience your pain. And then I went out and did errands. Can i just say that 3 different times today I have seen a young man who looked so similar to your Henry. It was as if he was on my mind, and I was seeing him everywhere. Please know that people are holding you in their thoughts, and God holds Henry now in the palm of his hand. Blessings to you and yours, and do what all moms do…fight for your children. And shame shame on the people who are not listening to you. That part makes me very angry.
Love,
Dawn
I stumbled on your story via Rebeca Wolf's post on Babble.
The more I read, the more I hurt, and the more I hurt, the more I knew what you and your family are going through. Especially when it comes to feeling let down by a police investigation.
In 2005 my grandmother was murdered by a man who wanted nothing more than to kill her, and then leave. (http://www.accidentalolympian.com/the-accidental-olympian/2009/10/for-her.html)
It took the city of Albuquerque, NM over THREE years to connect her murder to a string of identical murders throughout NM and neighboring states.
We claim that as a nation we have the best of the best. Police, military, justice department.
I believe we only have the best of the best when it comes to Law & Order.
Stay strong. Eventually the people who did this to your son WILL receive the justice they deserve. Most likely it will be because they get caught for something even worse. But when they finally ARE caught, I can tell you that you and your family will finally sleep soundly.
Hang in there.
i discovered your site today and read back probably 8 months (if not more) of your entries.
i just wanted to say how horrified i am, not only of the loss of your son to you, but of the cruel and callous nature of your local law enforcement. NO one deserves to be treated as disposable, no matter what circumstances lead to them being a victim of crime.
my own son will be 17 at the end of the month. he doesnt live with me, his dad (who is a great dad, just not a good match to me any longer) and i made the choice when we separated that the beastlyboy needed his dad more now, since he needs to learn to be a good man. and its working.
i honor you and your fight to make things right for not only your son, but also that law enforcement learns that ALL people deserve justice, not just the "law abiding citizens" of the country.
I lost my daughter 4 months ago to cancer. I didn't think anything could be worse…but this is. A stranger brought your situation tome and …. what….well, someone out here cares very much that justice be done for your son and his family. My husband and I have worked with addicted people for years. It is a terrible illness. Please accept our deepest sympathy.
I wish for you peace Katie. I know that you must long for it as well and the people at KCSO are seemingly doing everything in their power to keep you from it. As I read your post all I could do was chant peace in my head to calm me down. I don't know how you managed tow rite such an eloquent thing while in the midst of such devastation. I pray that you can find your peace and the people at KCSO steps out of the way to help you find it.
After my father and husband were lost in the kentucky mountains in a private plane crash, and a 3 day search for the plane and their bodies, I learned that the plane and one of their bodies were found through a report on a local radio station. I understand your frustration. That report in the paper was inexcusable.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
This is absolutely disgusting, as were some of the comments left on the site. Sincerely hurting for you over the words of people who knew absolutely nothing of your son who decide to open their mouths so ignorantly. I created an account on the site specifically to reply to a comment left there.
I just stumbled across your blog through a local forum group, and I want to send my deepest condolences. God Bless your family. I have a daughter who will be turning 18 next month, that is a heavy marijuana user. I am very concerned the drug use may escalate. We're doing everything we can try to keep her out of trouble, but we're very concerned; especially since both sides of her family have additive histories. I will be sharing your story with my daughter.
I'm in total disgust that REGARDLESS of what your son did or didn't do prior to his death is the issue, rather than the fact that he's a victim.
My heart breaks for you and your family.