What remains
Posted on 06/19/2010 12:09 pm by kagranju
Henry was in the hospital receiving acute care from specialists for five weeks before he died. Needless to say, we have begun receiving the medical bills…and bills..and bills… Most of them are just addressed to “Henry Granju,” but today one came that was addressed to “The Estate of Henry Granju.”
That one just seems extra-heartbreaking to me – the idea that my 18 year old boy would have an “estate.” He hadn’t even had a car of his own yet. He hadn’t started college or bought his first suit.
He did have a favorite red down comforter and some Chaco sandals – in fact, his feet were still tanned in the shape of his sandal straps the last time I saw him, after he died. He had a guitar and a backpack. That was what he left behind.
06/19/2010 at 12:36 pm
When I saw your first couple of sentences….profanity came out of my mouth…and I consider myself and enlightened Christian. My son turned 18 in December and when we went to the doctor recently for a chronic nosebleed, they made him sign the financial responsibility papers. I was taken aback. I mean….have they received a notice from the family? Sheez..Just rub salt in it.
On the flip side…if they are addressed to him and he has no estate or assets and no one else signed for the responsibility of paying them…no one else would be obligated for the non-covered portions of the EOB…
Just saying…
06/19/2010 at 1:02 pm
Sometimes what’s around the corner….should stay there.
I hope you are getting an overwhelming amount of support. Please know that prayers are being said for you around the world.
06/19/2010 at 1:30 pm
It is hard but don’t tell these things get to you. Can you speak with someone in the billing about adressing the mail to you or your husband so that it easier for you?
06/19/2010 at 1:47 pm
Return to sender.
06/19/2010 at 2:12 pm
To think that you would receive bills following your son’s death is appalling and dumbfounding.
Living in a country with socialized medicine seems even more compassionate today.
06/19/2010 at 2:48 pm
How sad. A reminder that the world keeps turning, unmoved, even as we suffer.
06/19/2010 at 3:28 pm
Jzzy55 said, “How sad. A reminder that the world keeps turning, unmoved, even as we suffer.” That is the perfect sentiment. Interesting, it often compounds the suffering. For me I felt resentful of friends who didn’t understand, who had never gone through anything or complained about the ridiculous things (“My shirt has a bleach stain.” “You’re lucky your shirt has a bleach stain, I’m sure my aunt or uncle would love to deal with bleach stained clothes and not the murder trial for their son.”)
Ugh, sorry to rage. It just… my heart aches for you.
06/19/2010 at 4:22 pm
this makes me inarticulate. my heart is out toward you.
06/19/2010 at 4:29 pm
If there was ever a time to ask someone for help, surely this would be it. Could someone sort through all the papers and figure out what’s owed? Can your lawyer tell you what you’re responsible for paying for (or not)? I’ve got to think there’s someone savvy you could hand all the papers to and say “sort this out.” You could even give that person, if trusted, power of attorney to talk to the insurance company for you.
Talk about adding insult to injury…
06/19/2010 at 9:07 pm
I agree with the previous commentor who suggested getting your attorney involved so that you don’t have to try to sort this out alone. Also, to make sure that you are playing or not paying the appropriate items. I have no idea what kind of financial responsibility devolves on the family of a deceased person under these circumstances, but it certainly can’t hurt to get an expert opinion.
You continue to be in my thoughts. I hope your family receives the guidance and strength to get through these difficult days.
06/19/2010 at 10:34 pm
I’m so very sorry that you have to deal with all these painful details. It doesn’t help pay the medical bills, but Henry left behind beautiful memories and love and a story that is already helping other people.
06/19/2010 at 11:26 pm
I’m so sorry. I hate the “life goes on” part.
06/20/2010 at 12:34 am
I’m so sorry to hear that people are saying mean things in the comments section of papers reporting the crime. I hope dearly that people are realizing it could so easily be their child, but with that realization comes denial and anger and they must lash out. Unforgivable.
Try not to read it. I say that from experience. I just had to read one article about my cousin and it just put me on the floor.
Hugs to you.
06/20/2010 at 6:07 am
It’s interesting how you thought about and commented on Henry’s feet and his tan lines this morning.
And C said something about “loosing her feet” yesterday.
06/20/2010 at 12:14 pm
It seems surreal, like a bad dream, until you get those quiet, cold envelopes where the horror and loss of it is efficiently laid out in black and white: To The Estate Of.
I wish we could grind back the gears and undo what has happened; turn back the clock. At first, it almost seems possible, but then as more and more time passes, the cruelty of reality sinks in.
At least in Canada we don’t have the indignity of receiving the bills for failed medical treatments…
Oh Katie, the more you reveal of Henry, the more my heart breaks — for him, for you and all his loved ones and family, but also for the world, at the loss of such a lovely creative soul, lost for the want of compassion and sane government policy.