Today was my birthday. It was my first birthday since Henry died at the beginning of the summer. It was the first birthday I’ve celebrated without Henry in 19 years.
I’d been dreading the day, and I planned to stay in bed or hide out as much as possible. I’d already told Jon and my sister that I didn’t want any kind of party or even mention made of the day. But things evolved and as it happened, there was a party at our house tonight for my birthday. It wasn’t huge and it wasn’t tiny. Only family and very close friends. It was the first party we’ve hosted since Henry died, and since we generally have people over all the time, that marked a major milestone for our family, and for me.
Henry loved parties and music. He would not have wanted me to stay in bed all day on my birthday. He would want me to have a birthday party. So we did. And it was wonderful seeing some of the people I love the most – my children, husband, mother and sister, nieces and dear friends. The party size was a good social re-emergence for me. I now feel like I could handle having a real party at our house, with more people. I still don’t know that I am ready to attend anyone else’s party, but tonight I made the first step by having people over last night.
My friends and family were SO generous in gifting me! My mother surprised me with a ring my paternal grandmother gave me to celebrate Henry’s birth. I wore it until I was pregnant with J, at which time my fingers swelled so much that one day, my fatrher had to cut the ring off my hand. The mangled ring has been in my mother’s jewelry box for the past 15 years. To be honest, I’d totally forgotten it existed. But my mother had it repaired and cleaned and she gave it to me as my surprise birthday gift tonight. Looking down at it on my finger, I remember slipping it on for the first time only a few days after Henry came home from the hospital, thinking how special it was to have a beautiful piece of jewelry to commemorate his birth. I am so glad to have it on my finger once again.
I also received a gorgeous scarf, a beautiful glass ornament for hanging, some terrific books, and from my friend Elaine, a bacon pie. Yes, a pie made entirely of delicious Benton’s bacon. I love it and can’t wait to consume it. Elaine rocks. My friend Julianne gave me a gorgeous new bag from her very own JulieApple line. Now I guess I have to give J’s JulieApple bag back to her 
The most special gift I got was from c & M, my three oldest kids’ father and stepmother. They gave me a BEAUTIFULLY framed copy of a charcoal drawing of Henry that a family friend had given them on the day of Henry’s memorial service. It’s absolutely gorgeous, and I am so happy to have it to hang in our house, like the one that already hangs in the kids’ other house.
Here is the charcoal of Henry
Earlier in the day, I spent several very emotional hours with the mother of another Knox County teenager – a beautiful 19 year old girl – who died of an apparent overdose on the same day Henry suffered the overdose that killed him – April 27, 2010. Like Henry, she was found in a strange house in another area of town with people her family didn’t know. The story told by those who were in the house where she was found doesn’t add up and is very short on details. The mother has been unable to get the one other young person she knows for certain was with her daughter that night to return her calls.
On the day the police chaplain knocked on her mother’s door to tell her that her daughter was dead, she was promised a thorough and professional criminal investigation into the circumstances of her child’s death. Five months later, she’s yet to receive so much as a phone call from any investigator. She’s left numerous phone messages begging for someone in law enforcement to tell her what is going on, but no one has even returned her calls.
Worst of all, she still hasn’t seen her daughter’s autopsy or toxicology report. That’s why I say “apparent” overdose; all evidence the mother has points to an OD as the cause of death, but until she gets the autopsy report, she can’t know for sure. The mom calls the Medical Examiner’s office every week or two, asking for news on when she will have an autopsy and toxicology report, and she has been put off again and again. In the last call, the representative of the ME with whom she spoke told her that the toxicology report was still at a lab somewhere being processed, and the ME hadn’t yet found the time to transcribe her dictation from the autopsy performed on this teenage girl 5 months ago. She was curtly informed that it could be many more months before they have any information to share with her. Needless to say, this agonizing wait this mother for ANY information or support and help from authorities in finding out what killed her previously healthy college freshman daughter.
As we two moms met yesterday and cried and shared memories of our two children – both of them our firstborn – we both agreed that it says so much about the way overdoses are treated in our community that TWO Knox County teenagers were found dead/near death within two hours of one another on the same day, and yet no one has really noticed. If two teenagers had been found in two separate residences in the same city with fatal gunshot wounds, it would be a huge story and there would be a community outcry for an aggressive investigation. If two teenagers in Knox County had been fatally injured by drunk drivers on the same day – within hours of each other, the media would pay attention. If the weapon involved had been a gun or a drunk driver behind the wheel, people would want the killer(s) caught and prosecuted before any other teenager became the next victim. But because the weapon in the case of my son and this woman’s daughter was a drug, the two dead teenagers in one day in one small city hasn’t even been noticed. And sadly, what that means is that some other teenager WILL likely die at the hands of the people who provided the lethal, illegal drugs to these my son and this other mother’s daughter.
The only reason Henry’s case has gotten the media attention it has (which I really appreciate because it keeps people aware of the need for an investigation) is because I have been writing about it here. Otherwise, I really don’t think anyone in authority would have paid it any attention. In fact, I’m sure of that, since the prosecutor with whom we met in August (the only face to face conversation we’ve EVER HAD with anyone in law enforcement or the DA’s office since APril 27th) told Henry’s father and me straight up, “You should know that we don’t even usually investigate overdose deaths at all.”
This girl’s mother doesn’t have any public voice. She’s also new to our community and doesn’t have any resources to try to get help in seeing that her child’s death is investigated properly. Hell, she can’t even get a call back from law enforcement and she has been denied access to her child’s autopsy for five agonizing months. This girl’s family was unable to provide a newspaper obituary for her, so her death has gone completely un-noted in our community. It’s like she never existed.
But she DID exist. She was beautiful, young, bright and deeply loved by her mother and two younger brothers. Her life meant something, even if she died from an overdose instead of a gunshot or a drunk driver.
I plan to do all I can to help her mother get the information and thorough investigation that she deserves.
Some of you may be wondering how I found this other OD death and tracked down the girl’s mother when there wasn’t any media coverage of her death or even any obituary. Well, in my numerous conversations with friends and acquaintances of Henry’s since his death, I kept hearing rumors of another teenager dying of an OD the same day that Henry did. But the name I heard was wrong; for months I was searching for an OD death in Knox County on April 27 using the wrong name. Eventually, however, I put together some pieces of the puzzle and some new info I got, and I learned the correct name for the girl who died that day. Then I turned to Facebook to contact her family. Her mom called me the same day and we made plans to get together and talk.
I suspect we’ll be talking a lot more in the months ahead
FACTS TO PONDER IN CONSIDERING WHETHER OVERDOSE DEATHS ARE INVESTIGATED AS POTENTIAL HOMICIDES
- It’s an epidemic: overdose is now the second leading cause of death among teenagers in the United States. For middle-aged Americans, it’s now the leading cause of death.
- Tennessee’s Rx drug overdose rate is 26% above the national average.
- Federal law enforcement experts recommend that local law enforcement authorities treat ALL fatal overdose injuries as potential crimes against the deceased person
- Specific state and federal criminal penalties already exist for the purpose of prosecuting dealers who illegally provide drugs to someone who dies as a result. Local prosecutors and law enforcement personnel need to be urged by their community stakeholders to familiarize themselves with these criminal statutes so that they can play their critical roles in combatting the overdose epidemic
- These prosecutions are frequently successful, and are being pursued by progressive and engaged prosecutors all over the country. Many state legislators recognize the need for specific penalties related to death resulting from illegal drug dealing:
“Just as the Michigan Vehicle Code includes criminal penalties for causing a death due to drunk driving, someone who causes another person’s death by supplying him or her with a Schedule 1 or 2 controlled substance should be subject to severe criminal penalties. An offender should not be punished lightly with drug delivery charges; cases should not have to be tried in Federal court; and prosecutors should not have to prove intent in order to secure a murder verdict. The bills will ensure that those who commit such an act are punished appropriately, and they may deter some people from providing major controlled substances to others.”
- Local media should take a very close look at the opiate (methadone, hydrocodone, vicodin, oxycontin, roxycontin, percocet, lortab, fentanyl, morphine, heroin, etc) overdose death rate in their own communities and then ask some tough questions as to why overdoses are being treated by authorities as individual, discrete and merely unfortunate accidents rather than as potential homicides. Many overdoses in particular communities are related by the same network of dealers; aggressive criminal investigation into these deaths leading to homicide prosecutions of at least some of the dealers involved could be a very effective tool in fighting drug crimes and deaths in our cities and towns.
- -
Good for you, Katie! I am so glad you can reach out and help this dear Mama. I'm sure Henry is cheering you on, too.
And I'm so glad you had a party . . . . Indeed, Henry would have wanted that. In fact, I'll bet he was there.
I'm so glad you enjoyed your birthday party. I wasn't sure if it was okay or not, but your sweet sister encouraged it.
And the best part wasn't the pizza or cake or wine, but seeing all of the little ones playing and giggling and romping and watching the dogs play just like the children.
Happy Birthday first of all and second of all I am moved by your efforts to contact this mom. Parenting really NEVER ends.
You are s wonderful example.
Making the gunshot comparison is really sticking out in my mind. I'm not a murderer, heck, I don't even like killing bugs…BUT, if I were going to plot such a crime in Knox County, I wouldn't use a gun. It seems Law Enforcement has given better options to those who could carelessly take another life without a second thought.
I mean no disrespect to the men and women in uniform in your county, either. I'm sure they are overwhelmed, underpaid, and overworked in thankless jobs. It just seems to me that there is a very obvious problem in Knox County and it's time LE seeks help from outside agencies.
It's time the entire country starts seeking better help in understanding and combating this epidemic, but I digress…
8/6/09 – RIP to my sweet 22 year old cousin; Never investigated; Never a call to his parents from LE; 8 months to get the autopsy.
Ridiculous.
Thank you, Katie, for keeping this in the media for ALL of those who DID EXIST.
I think locating the other mother and visitng with her was another birthday present for you! I'm glad you've found more evidence of the apathy in law enforcement in Knox, and probably most communities. Her story will foster your campaign for action locally and a more serious discussion of this epidemic and the FAILURE of "the war on drugs" to address it effectively.
Most happy birthday, I'm very glad you were surrounded by family and friends!
~m
Hugs and good for you!! Your tenacity in tracking that other mother down is only matched by that which you are pursuing justice for Henry! I hope you both can achieve it for your children.
We love you Katie and were honored to be there to share your special day. I think I need to taste test that bacon pie tho, that Elaine can't be trusted!
And keep being the voice for all those who have none. For all those dismissed by the authorities as street addicts or disposable. You are very brave and I am honored to call you my friend.
Denise
(and Jerry and Katy too!)
Just a thought to ponder, and I think it's what you were touching on when you listed the facts about drug suppliers: Back in the 80's, my mom's best friend's oldest boy was killed by a drunk driver. Back in those days, DD was still a "horrible accident" by many law enforcement standards, and in this case, the offender (who was out on parole for the SAME offense) spent, I believe, 11 mo, 29 days in jail – that's it. Two innocent dead people – one a 12 yr old. Now of course, we realize that if you CHOOSE to drink and drive and you kill someone, you are responsible for murder and will pay the price. Of course, even some of those punishments are not harsh enough in some states. Point being, here's an idea, Knox County. Be PROactive. Don't wait for someone else to tell you that it MAKES PERFECT sense to actively prosecute drug dealers, especially those whose drugs wind up killing someone. I don't give a hoot if a teen does choose to consume the drugs. Several recent studies on teenagers' brains support the idea that they are not biologically/physiologically capable of making the best decisions in complicated situations. Teens can't even sign legally binding contracts for cell phones, yet we hold them as accountable as adults when they consume drugs. No, no, no. They need help. They look to adults to help them make decisions. They haven't lived long enough to understand addiction. So i don't care if a teen begs for drugs. If you give it to them and they die, you should go to jail for a looooong time. Just my opinion. Full of holes, perhaps, but there is no justification for an adult who hurts a kid. Bless you Katie! I hope your new friend makes the biggest stink about how she has been treated. She has my support!
Happy belated birthday and I'm so glad your sweet sister encouraged it. And I know that other mother probably considers you a life-long gift to her.
Good work, Katie, I hope you continue to have the strength to fight.
Kristin is absolutely correct about that. It is time to insist that these people be treated as violent criminals.
Dear Katie — Happy Birthday! Now, you will be forever in my mind on this day, because it seem that you share a birthday with my firstborn. Seven years ago today, my daughter Tallulah was born; I cannot believe how these precious years have flown… It's great that you had a party, and that it included Henry in a major way!
I am so very glad that you have connected to that mother; for both of you. As hard as this nightmare has been for you, at least you have managed to get some attention paid to Henry's case. Not justice, not yet, but at least some attention. But that poor mama, and not even an autopsy report; nothing… Thank goodness you found her!
It is shocking the way that ODs are treated so cavalierly in Knoxville… what really brought it home was the link one of your other commentators posted about the OD of a talented young woman in Michigan; after she died, the man who supplied her drugs was charged (plead guilty, and was sentenced) while the "friend" that was with her is on trial. What a very different approach! I am wondering whether this is a story the local media should be picking up (cough! cough!) — comparing and contrasting OD deaths in Knox County versus other more aggressive jurisdictions, and what the effect is on drug deaths, drug usage, etc. Maybe some of the people who comment on your board could help you dig up this sort of information… Just thinking out loud…
Happy Birthday, Katie! And God bless you for helping out the mother who lost her daughter – what a beautiful photo of her! Thank you for reaching out, even in your grief.
Happy Birthday, Katie! So great that you had a celebration. You really, really deserve it. and the ring…what an absolutely wonderful gift! Reading about it took my breath away. Another special and visible way to have your sweet boy with you at all times. And what a lucky woman to have found you…I'm sure she will benefit greatly from your companionship and strength.
Happy Birthday, Katie! I agree that Henry would have wanted you to celebrate your life! Treasure that ring! It sounds beautiful
Would the mom you wrote about consider setting up a FB page in regards to her daughter? Asking LE to speed up the process etc. If word gets out about the page,and it is updated frequently, the media just might pick up on it. And maybe, just maybe…citizens of Knoxville might find the page and begin asking the questions that need answers. Just a thought.
Please tell this girl's mother we are thinking about her daughter too ( sorry if I missed her name).
I live in Montgomery County, Ohio and according to the Dayton Daily News, we had 122 accidental overdose deaths in 2009.
I believe we have become desensitized to such announcements and I would venture to say the journalists have as well. It is sad with just over 550,000 here, and I believe something like 180,000 in your county that this is the case.
It takes a lot courage to put a face from "middle america" on this picture. For that, I applaud you and that girl's mother and wish you both great success in figuring out how to truly make a difference in attitude toward this official finding. For the epidemic in this country is that this finding is not just for poverty level income families, but families from every economic and social background.
Oh Katie, the girl’s picture you posted is beautiful. I always had in my mind the type of person that a drug user is. My stereotype is way off base. I can say that now also because I too have a daughter that is a user and as much help as you try to help or offer there is nothing you can do to make them listen.
God bless you and all the people who have lost kids to this terrible disease. (I do have trouble calling it a disease, because it’s a disease you wouldn’t get if you didn’t use drugs)Never the less God bless all.
Belated happy birthday! What a beautiful drawing of henry……I am so glad your birthday was celebrated! And, how wonderful of you to reach out and find the mom you wrote about — and, my, her daughter is beautiful. Hugs and prayers.
What a horrible coincidence.
Makes me wonder if your kids both ODed on drugs that originated from the same source.
Katie, Keep on speaking up….you are bound to find many more who need help. Happy Birthday and thank you for just being who you are!
Happy belated birthday! My birthday was yesterday too. I'm glad you celebrated with loved ones and didn't hide all day.
I'll be thinking of that beautiful girl and her family. Thank you for giving your voice to that mama. I pray that both you and she receive answers from law enforcement soon.
Beautiful girl, amazing how similar her jewelry choices are to Henry's.
Why?
It's the question that I always come back to.
Challenging the status quo makes people uncomfortable.
I believe you are completely on the right path by speaking up.
Props to you and Happy Belated Birthday!
Happy birthday Katie. I'm glad that you were able to have some glimpses of joy as you spent time with family and friends.
Jackie
I am so sorry for the death of both of these beautiful, young people.
Overdoses are common, that's the main reason why they are not reported the same way other deaths would be.
I worked as an advocate in domestic violence intervention and prevention for many years. If a stranger had done to my clients what their partners did, it would have made the news but it rarely did because violence among people who know each other is so much more common than stranger violence.
We don't notice things until they happen to us, until it's important to us. Then it becomes difficult to understand why others are not as tuned in yet the fact remains that we are not as tuned into their issues either.
[quote]…And sadly, what that means is that some other teenager WILL likely die at the hands of the people who provided the lethal, illegal drugs to these my son and this other mother’s daughter…[/quote]
Teenagers are going to keep dying from overdoses because they are addicts, not due to lack of news coverage.
You've spoken about how Henry dealt drugs. Perhaps he even sold a lethal dose to someone. All addicts eventually either sell drugs and/or their bodies eventually. They will do anything to get their fix. The supply side is not the problem, it's the demand and a market with that kind of demand will always exist.
Rather than focusing on locking up a dealer, who will be replaced on the street before they are even booked, I wish our society would focus on helping addicts. Real world, in community, cutting edge addiction help is out there but it is beyond the financial grasp of most and the industry is so unregulated that just about anyone can declare their method "rehab" and charge a fortune for it.
Kathleen,
This is from the mom of the girl above (her name is Amber).
I agree with what you say about focusing on the demand aspect. However, I also believe we need to go after the pushers as well. They cannot be ignored. Granted one may be stopped and two may pop up to take their place, but we should at least make them squirm. Right now, they have no fear of what they are doing. Until there is more awareness of how big an epidemic this is in our community no one will take it seriously and that includes the dealers/pushers. A great majority of people stereotype drug users and addicts, sweeps them under the carpet as being nothing but a black spot on our society and treats them as if they are ignorant and stupid people that either deserve to die or gets what they deserve. When our community realizes these "drug users/addicts" are our children, a great number of them being teens you probably know and never realized would be "using", then perhaps it may be taken a little more seriously. Unfortunately Henry became hooked and addicted. It is one thing when other teens keep enabling each other because of their naivette but it is even more appalling when adults stand by and feed the addictions, taking advantage of their "innocent, not so jaded" youth and prey on them. It is even more shameful that they can stand by and let a child die right in front of them without any regard for that life. But then again, just as you feel dealers will be replaced by other dealers, so do they feel one kid will be replaced by another as well, and they will try to save their butt before the one dying in front of them. Another point, and forgive me for jumping all over the place, look up pharm parties. They are huge in this country let alone in just our humble neck of the woods. As in the case of my daughter (Amber) she was hardly an addict. She was doing (and I am just speculating as I DON'T have her autopsy report back and can only assume this is how she died), what many, many, many teens are doing today. At these pharm parties everyone brings a pill to a party and throws it in a bowl and everyone just randomly picks one out and takes it. All for stupid teenage "fun". None know what they are going to take, nor do they evidently know the consequences. Most are under the false pretense that if my grandma takes _________ (enter any narcotic/prescription med you want), that there is no way they can die from it. These are kids from all walks of life. Rich, poor, from well-to-do and very prominent families to homes where no one cares. Not all these kids are addicts. Yes, some DO become addicts because these substances ARE addictive and it is another consequence these kids suffer without realizing just how addictive they are. Some do it once, some twice, some a lot and some become addicts. It is Russian roulette. Unfortunately, my daughter got the bullet. Focusing on punishing those pushing drugs is very important and people should be held responsible for contributing to the deaths of these valuable lives. But, as I said, that is only one aspect. If the punishment is harsh enough perhaps it will make it harder for pushers. Another aspect is as you say go after the demand. It is all hand in hand. One more point I must make. Yes, everyone is responsible for their own actions. If, indeed, Amber took some drug, as hard as it is for me and my pride to admit, I hold her 100% accountable for what she did. So, none of this is due to passing the buck and blaming someone else for the choices one makes. BUT I do feel whoever gave her whatever she took (and I am just speculating she took something), should be held accountable for the choice HE/SHE made as well. Furthermore, the person who owns the house she died in, where the party was being held, should also be tried as a contributor of my daughter's death. They knowingly allowed drugs in their home and should be held responsible in some way. The giver and the taker are both responsible for their actions. It is all a crime. Our kids paid for their "crime", and so should those who contributed to their deaths. My daughter and Henry paid for their choices, however, they are not alone. They died just as did so so so many more precious beautiful lives that have been swept under the carpet as just another "tragic" accident. Perhaps if dealers had harsher punishments such as being convicted for murder (as they are murderers) it may make it even a little harder on them to just pop up and take the place of someone else. Perhaps as well if we make this a priority in society with any other murder case, there would be more lives saved. This needs to be taken seriously. You would be surprised who and how many kids are taking drugs recreationally and/or as addicts. From what I have learned only now (shamefully so), I would not be surprised if everyone in our community knows a teen/young person who popped a pill recreationally, even if it was only once out of teenage curiosity. You can only hope the next one who gets the bullet is not your child or someone you know and love. Just one Xanax and a shot of liquor or even just a beer, is a potentially lethal concoction. All of you with prescription medications in your medicine chest, keep it locked up. Your child just may take one to a party with them and partake in this lethal cocktail. Perhaps it will be your child next who enjoys it too much and unwittingly and subtlely becomes addicted, and you have to live the nightmare of trying to save your addicted child. From two mothers who lost their child, wake up and start paying attention. Start taking the drug problem in your community a little, no, a LOT more seriously. It is bigger than I would have ever imagined and unfortunately is now mine, Katie's and so many other grieving family's reality. I also want to say thank you to Katie for searching me out. It has been a godsend, and she is an invaluable source of comfort.
Also, thank you everyone for your well wishes. It means more than you know.
I remember seeing a counselor, not regarding nick's alcoholism/addiction, but because my mother had just died, and bringing up that we had found pot in his room. He was 15 at the time, and it seemed so out of character for him, it bothered me. the counselor said that she understood my concern, but that it is not unusual for teenagers to experiment with drugs, alcohol and sex. That is a true statement. I remember thinking, okay, I don't like this, and I will take away some privileges because of it, but I did breath a sigh of relief. This was typical teenage experimentation, and I had done the same thing, truth be told. In high school, my friends and I drank every weekend, and we smoked some pot. I took a pill once, not even sure what it was, but didn't like it at all, and never took any other type of pill again. Until it was obvious by age 19 that Nick's use of substances was not "typical teenage experimentation". And of course they are going to experiment, what is that stuff that mom and dad drink every now and then, that make them and their friends laugh and look like they are having so much fun? Who wouldn't want to give that try, and have some of that fun for themselves? Maybe mom and dad can have 2 or 3 drinks, and stop at that, although plenty of teenagers parents don't, for sure. We live in a culture where drinking is totally acceptable, a legal drug, and yes, alcohol is, being a mind altering, mood altering substance. Goodness, we sell alcohol at sporting events, where people take their children, and then watch them all pile into cars and drive them home. I'm guessing if alot of those adults were pulled over, they wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test. Just had a baby, pop open the champagne. bad day at work? pour yourself a beer. flat tire on the freeway, "I need a drink".
But I digress.
It is a different world today, though. There weren't "pharm parties", the pot was much milder than it is now, heroin was used by Mick Jagger and other rock stars. The drugs are more plentiful, and stronger, more addictive. It appears that some people can try substances, and then walk away from them, while others can't. Noone seems to know what the formula is that makes this possible, maybe we never will. I know plenty of people who have smoked pot and drank, and stop, I even know some people my age (53) who still smoke it and drink, and never progress to any other stronger substance. Pot was Nick's gateway drug, however, the beginning of a 10 year addiction that lead to his death at 25.
I think there is something in everyone who becomes addicted that is waiting for that substance, the thing that takes away their pain, or gives them the feelings of self-esteem or being "normal" that they can't seem to get elsewhere. I read a recent article that a psychiatrist in our town who works with addicts had written, and in it there was a quote by a young patient of his who said "the first time i tried heroin was the happiest, best day of my life". It is hard to find anything to compete with that. In reading his journals, I understand more what was going on inside my son that made these substances something he felt he couldn't live without. And yet, he knew he couldn't live with them either, the proverbial rock and a hard place. That breaks my heart. When he was drunk or high, he didn't feel lonely, he didn't feel abnormal, he felt confident and calm and secure. Without them, he didn't. He tried, Lord knows he tried, but that little voice (the drugs or booze) that whispered to him "I'll make it all better for you, I can make this a good day instead of a bad one", never seemed to go away. i went to a recovery weekend once, for addicts/alcoholics and family members,and I was surprised to hear a young addict say that she and her boyfriend would say "let's go 'get well' when they went out to try and get high. That's how they saw it, as getting well, because being clean and sober made them feel sick. Again, heartbreaking.
My son was arrested four times for DUI's, he had two stints in jail, 3 mos. in a rehab, 6 mos. in a post rehab house. He went to AA for 5 years. courts putting sick people in jail, or forcing them to go to a religious program obviously is not working. by their own admission, AA has about a 10% success rate. In my humble opinion, and it is just that, my opinion based on my son and mine's experience, addiction is a mental health issue. It seems ludicrous on the one hand to send a mentally ill patient to jail (although that was done for years with other forms of mental illness), yet the behavior that is exhibited with this illness often involves breaking the law, and we can't just say "oh well, he is mentally ill, so he can do that". It is such a complex problem.
I wish i knew what the answer was, I sure as heck don't. What I do know is what we are doing, as a society, is not working. Insurances don't want to pay for treatment, most states are continually cutting back on funds for this and other forms of mental health programs. The psychiatrist I previously mentioned said in that article that even if people don't care about the addicts, if they still don't believe this is truly an illness, they should be aware of this–it is costing them more in the long run not to treat people who suffer from it. That he has had patients who have had $500-$1,000 a day drug habits, and where do we think they are getting the money to pay for that, by stealing, breaking into homes, etc. Now we can spend our resources building more jails or prisons, or we can fund research, facilities and programs that will help those with this illness, which will ultimately help all of us.
As for the legal aspects of it, it was against the law for my son to drink and drive, and he was held legally accountable for that action, illness or not. It is against the law to sell or provide drugs to someone, be it a street drug or a prescription drug, and the people who do this should also be held legally accountable. There is no more logic in saying "well if we get one drug dealer off the street, another will pop up", than there would be in saying "well if we prosecute one drunk driver, there are two more out there", so let's not do anything.
It is illegal to provide alcohol (an otherwise legal substance) to a minor (under 21!), and doesn't some responsibility legally fall on the provider if something happens to the minor due to alcohol consumption? It would only logically follow that providing illegal, dangerous drugs to minors would incur a much stiffer penalty!
Happy Birthday, Katie. You (and Henry) are making a difference out there.
I occasionally read your blog and find your views very interesting. As I read this day or two old blog entry, I find myself thinking over and over about our government standard. There are major ad campaigns that say "Say No to Drugs" and the D.A.R.E. programs that try to influence our youth to stay away from drugs but what message does our justice system send when the ones responsible for providing the drugs get a free pass. For the prosecutor in your case to even say “You should know that we don’t even usually investigate overdose deaths at all.” is so incogitable to me. These kids are people too. So basically what I get from his careless statement is the government doesn't care about people who overdose. It is a sad commentary of our times. The money that is being pumped into those drug problems should also be used to stop those drug problems, to fight for people who can't or won't say no. This whole ordeal and your story breaks my heart. Katie, please know that there are people who don't know you but have the utmost respect for what you are trying to do. Keep fighting the good fight my blogger friend!
As a half Irish girl, of generations of “Keep a stiff upper lip” – this really made me cry. Also, Katie, I saw this and thought of you, re: your earlier post, hoping people will ask you about Henry. x0x0x0
“The mention of my child’s name
May bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring
Music to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
Let me hear the beautiful music of his name.
It soothes my broken heart
And sings to my soul.”
- Author Unknown