Pregnancy, Interrupted

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On Friday, two days ago, I went alone to my routine OB check-up. I figured I’d pop over the doctor’s office during my lunch break and then be back at my desk quickly to finish up my busy workday.

All went perfectly until it was time to kick back, relax and enjoy the ultrasound. No one expected to see a problem. My bloodwork continued to be perfect, my last ultrasound had showed a healthy baby, and my pregnancy symptoms continued unabated. Unfortunately, however, it was immediately clear from the look on the ultrasonographer’s face when she waved the wand over my belly that something was very wrong. They switched machines, called in my doctor, and then told me the bad news.

Our baby had died – probably within the previous 24 hours. There was a perfect baby pictured on the screen, except for the fact that he was completely still.

The rest of the appointment is a blur, as are the past two days since then. My doctor tried to get me scheduled for surgery immediately, but there was nothing available until Monday. That means I am spending the weekend in bed, on sedatives, surrounded by people who love me, but all the while keenly aware that my dead baby remains in my belly. I keep patting him and talking to him.

Now I think I will try to sleep some more. I wish I could sleep right up to and through the surgery tomorrow, and only wake up when it’s all over.

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247 thoughts on “Pregnancy, Interrupted”

  4. Please let us know when you're up to it that you are OK from surgery. I'm so worried. I'm nobody you know but your story is so familiar to me; I ache with you. All my prayers are for you today.

  12. Oh Katie, this is horrifically unfair. I am so sorry. Trust that Henry is watching over your little one in Heaven. I have to believe that the Universe has something wonderful in store for you. You deserve it. Sending warm wishes and prayers to you and your family.

  13. so sorry, Katie. Something very similar happened to me…"missed abortion" it was called. I too experienced "that look" on the technician's face, and then another test, and then the, "um, could you please wait in the waiting room until i get in touch with your doctor." I also had to wait for a weekend before the surgery. I had the good fortune of having a "feeling" that it would not be a succesful pregnancy, though. so although i was upset, i wasn't entirely surprised. odd how that works. But I don't mean for this to be about me, but wanted to share so that you know that you're not alone. I can't completely relate to your situation, of course, but am for sure thinking of you and the sadness you're feeling…on top of the sadness you're already feeling. so sorry

  15. Even though we don't know each other I was thinking of you today and hoping everything went as well as possible. I am so sorry that you had to go through this on top of everything else that has happened. Your family is in our thoughts.

  18. Katie. I am so sorry for you loss. Take time to recuperate and have your loved ones around you. I know it must be so hard for you. There has bound to be brighter days ahead. Praying for brighter days for you.

  19. Ah Katie, that's very sad. The exact same thing happened to me 18 years ago this week. The sudden "uh oh" on the ultrasound tech's face, then the somber news from the doctor.

    Not much fun, but certainly better to lose the pregnancy early. I hope your husband had that little procedure so there are no more ups and downs of this nature. I don't think you need any more ups and downs.

  21. Katie, I'm so, so sorry for your loss, and for the pain that you and your family have suffered. I'll keep all of you in my thoughts, and hope that whatever dark cloud has been hovering over you will pass by and never return. I wish you and your family healing, in every sense: physical, emotional, and spiritual. I wish each of you peace, strength, and hope. <3

  25. Adding my voice to the chorus of sympathy. I am so sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace.

  27. My heart broke for you when I read this. So terribly sorry for your loss. I like to think Henry has welcomed his little brother into heaven, I am sure he will be just as good of a big brother up there as he was on earth – nah, even better for sure. Big hugs and prayers for you and your family. It isn't fair at all.

  31. Oh Katie! I wish I could take the burden of your pain and make it all better. My heart aches to read of this unexpected turn of events. Sending positive energy your direction……….

  32. I am so very sorry, Katie. The very same thing happened to me a long time ago, and it's wrenching. I'm sending you all my love and prayers.

    Love
    Kerry

  33. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I lost a baby at 37 weeks learning of it at a routine ultrasound appointment. My heart goes out to you.

  34. I am so sorry for your loss, Katie. It is not fair, and I wish I could help. Just know that I am praying for you.

    It's heartbreaking to read some of these comments and learn of the tragedy that other women have gone through. Wishing I could send out a big hug to all of you.

  36. I was actually hunting down blogs to ask them to do a write up about my company when I came to yours. Your last title caught my eye and I read it.

    The shock and horror as I finished your post filled my body. I know that the Lord God Almighty works in ways we will never understand; and I don't know how I would handle it if a child of mine was taken, but take comfort IN THE LORD. He will get you through this terrible time.

    My heart aches for you and your family and I will pray for you all.

    I am SO sorry.

    John

  37. You don't know me, but I think about Henry and your family almost every day. I'll continue to pray for you, dear mother.

  40. Very sorry to read this, Katie. Very sad. Please take care and know that you are loved by many, many people.

  41. Oh Katie, I am so very sorry. I have been offline for a couple of days and just got back to the blog. I am just sick for you. Please take good care of yourself and know that many prayers are coming your way.

  43. I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried on Friday, and came here with the morbid desire to read about someone else's happy pregnancy. I am so, so sorry for you that this is not the case.

  46. I'm so sorry. This happened to me with my first pregnancy. It's was so difficult to wait over the course of the weekend for my surgery the following Monday. The surgery itself was fine; the emotional pain was another matter. So sorry this is happening to you as you continue to work through the loss of Henry. Thinking of you.

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