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PLEASE FIRST READ PART 1 of JUSTICE FOR HENRY
Henry, six months before his death at age 18
In the two months leading up to Henry’s emergency hospitalization on April 27, 2010, it was clear to our entire family that his drug abuse was rapidly escalating. In February or early March, he came to me and told me that he had begun shooting up opiate pain pills (I am not clear what the process is for converting the pills to liquid). He told me that he was scared and that he needed to get out of Knoxville in order to try to kick his habit.
Since early 2010, Henry had been dating a teenage girl one year older than he was. His girlfriend was a Bearden High graduate and comes from a well-known and prominent Knoxville family. Henry was nuts about her, and she seemed to feel the same way. It was clear to me the first time I met her that she, too, was a drug addict. When I questioned Henry about this, he didn’t deny it. He told me that they were both desperately attempting to get clean, and that they planned to support one another in their efforts. Despite this, I saw no evidence that either one of them were doing anything concrete to kick the drugs.
For the several months they were together, Henry and his girlfriend stayed with her family until they were kicked out, and then alternately stayed with friends and with Henry’s grandparents, who allowed them to live there. They were drifting, and very sick with the drugs. I was desperately worried every second of every day. Henry’s grandparents continued to pay for a cell phone for him, and he and I spoke just about every day, texted often, and saw one another regularly for lunch or a walk together. All I did when we were together was beg him to allow us to get help for him. He told me that he didn’t want to go back to drug treatment, even though he admitted he was very sick and wanted to stop. Because he had turned 18 a few months earlier, his father and I had absolutely no legal authority to force him to do anything against his will. It was a terrible, helpless feeling.
Henry was arrested for the first and only time in late February or early March. I can’t recall exactly when. He and his girlfriend were apparently parked in a West Knoxville subdivision, doing what teenagers do, when a police officer happened on them. Henry’s girlfriend was arrested for pot possession and possibly something else. I am not sure. This was not her first arrest. Henry was charged with public intoxication, public indecency, and possession of a controlled substance. I never was able to get a clear answer from anyone – Henry or police – as to what the drug was, but it actually wasn’t pain pills, benzodiazapenes or an illegal drug. It was some kind of prescribed antidepressant or something for which he had no prescription.
When I found out late that night that Henry was in jail, I was both terrified and hopeful. I believed that this could be the chance we had been looking for to force him back into drug treatment. His father and I agreed that we would not bail him out under any circumstances, and we asked other family members whom we knew he would ask to refrain from bailing him out either. They agreed.
I began working with my brother in law, a local attorney, to get the judge to require drug treatment as a condition of Henry’s release. My brother in law was working toward that goal when I got a call only a few days after Henry had been arrested letting me know that he had been released without my knowledge because the jail was crowded, and he was a first time, non-violent offender. I was horrified and heartbroken.
His girlfriend stayed in a few more days because she had a record, but she was released as well. Both were required to show up for court within the next few weeks. At Henry’s court date about a week (??) later, he was ordered to complete community service over the next few months and also complete some minimal outpatient therapy program. They told him he would have a clear record if he took care of these.
The next week, he came to me and asked if he and his girlfriend could try living with us. I said absolutely yes, as long as the two of them would agree to attend daily Narcotics Anonymous meetings, plus observe curfew, maintain employment, etc. I had grown very fond of his sweet, completely lost girlfriend by this time. She seemed totally grateful and relieved that I was suggesting an arrangement in which she would be required to get help and be accountable.
That evening, I drove both of them to an NA meeting. They went, and I picked them up after. They ate supper with us, and went to bed in separate bedrooms (that was a condition of them staying with us, given the fact that we have younger children at home and had enough ambiguity to explain to them about Henry without delving in to romantic issues).
For the next two days, they stayed with us, went to meetings, and I got to enjoy my child’s company, as well as his girlfriend’s. After those two days, however, Henry told me that if he wanted to have any hope whatsoever of getting off the pills, he needed to get out of Knoxville. He said that as long as he remained here, there was no chance he could kick the pills. He told me that he wanted to go to Bell Buckle – my hometown in middle TN – and stay with his Uncles in order to go thru the physical withdrawals that would come. After that, he wanted to get a job there and try to get his life together. He said that his girlfriend wanted to go too, for the same reasons. I asked her if that was really what she wanted, and she said yes.
That evening, I fixed my son the last meal I would ever prepare for him – a stir fry with curry. He and his girlfriend and his 12 year old brother E and I ate together on our front porch. Everyone was in good spirits, and after they ate, E and Henry got out their ripsticks and played on them on our front walkway. Henry’s girlfriend and I watched on the porch. It was a beautiful early spring evening.
Before dark, Henry’s friend picked him and his girlfriend up to take them to Bell Buckle. I hugged them both goodbye.
Over the next two or three (??) weeks, I spoke to Henry just about every day while he was in Bell Buckle. He and his girlfriend stayed with my family members. The first week was hell, as they experienced the uniquely awful physical withdrawal symptoms that come with kicking any kind of opiates, whether that’s pain pills or heroin. We were all hopeful. But after only a brief period, Henry told me by phone that he and his girlfriend had to return to Knoxville immediately because they had realized that her court date was imminent. Somehow, they found a ride back. I didn’t see either of them in the first days after they returned, but on the day his girlfriend went to court – with Henry accompanying her – she was taken into immediate custody for missing a previous court date. She handed Henry her cell phone and was led off.
Henry got in touch with me that day, hysterically upset and begging me to try to get her out of jail. I had never heard him so upset. I told him that we needed to talk with an attorney, and with her parents, but that maybe jail could help her get clean once and for all. As a besotted teenage boy, Henry was unable to accept this, and told me he HAD to figure out how to get her out of jail.
Henry and I texted over the next few days. I was frantically worried about him. On April 26th, he texted me that he was having a really rough day.
In the late afternoon/early evening of April 26th, Henry called me at my number. I didn’t get the call. According to his phone records, he next tried his stepdad’s number – within only a minute of calling my number. As it turns out – and I did not find this out until 6 months after Henry died – Henry’s little brother happened to be carrying my husband’s phone that day, so it was E who answered. Henry apparently asked his little brother if Mom was with him. E explained that he was on his way to lacrosse practice, and that Mom wasn’t there. Henry told him to please let Mom know that he REALLY needed to talk to her, and that I should call him.
That was the last time anyone in our family spoke to him before his fatal brain injury. I will never, ever be able to forgive myself for missing his calls. The fact that he called his stepdad’s # right after trying mine – something he only did when there was an emergency and couldn’t reach me – tells me that he knew he was in danger and wanted me to come get him. But he never got the chance to tell me that, and I didn’t find out I’d missed his call(s) until later.
NEXT: Justice for Henry – Part 3
PREVIOUSLY: Justice for Henry – Part 1
If you are on Twitter (you can follow me at @kgranju) please share this blog post using the hashtag, #justiceforhenry
33 Responses to “Justice for Henry – Part 2”
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Thank you for sharing your story. I can only imagine how painful this is for you, and how absolutely brave you are for opening yourself up to the type of criticism that will undoubtedly follow. I’m not one to comment often, but for all of the negative comments that I fear will follow, I wanted to add my voice to the support that you so rightly deserve.
Never. Ever. Give. Up. Ever.
I pray that justice will prevail for Henry. The system has so badly let him down and continues to let your family down. Do not give up this fight for Henry. Keep on keeping on Katie for your beautiful son and all our children.
Katie,
I’m so proud of you for writing this out. Details are so very important for results to occur also to keep the case open and for prosecution later. Once you get all these details down, it’s easy to see and think clearer to continue the fight for justice. I’ve done this myself. You are on the right track. Everything becomes clear for the path to justice once YOU know the details, no matter how much law enforcement tries to blame the victim. You can keep law enforcement in check by making sure they focus on the facts and the laws. When you know the story to the best of your ability and the people that surrounded your son, and the phone records of calls, texts and times, and anything else and most importantly the laws and statutes on the books then you are really on your way. I would not tolerate “lazy law enforcement” neither should you or any parent who lost a child because of the inhumanity of others. You go girl!!!
Rhiannon’s Mom
Absolutely heartbreaking. As a previous commenter noted, Never Give Up. In your corner, Katie.
This narrative is heartbreaking. I can’t imagine what it takes to write it down. I respect and admire you.
What a horrible tragedy. Poor Henry, poor Katie, poor everybody. May justice be done, and may you experience healing.
You are a good mother and did for him what you could and more.
Dear Katie,
I hope that someday you will be able to forgive yourself for missing that call. You certainly weren’t intentionally ignoring him, and of course you had no idea what would happen that day. You and your family obviously tried to help Henry many many times, in many ways.
Good luck on your journey for justice for Henry, and peace for yourself.
I don’t understand how you didn’t know that your son had answered your husband’s phone until 6 months after Henry died. Can you explain? Did he withold that information from you for whatever reason, and what do you think the reason was? I’m so concerned for your other children.
Matilda -I didn’t know because when my husband got the phone back from my youngest son the next day, we were in the ER with Henry, who was in critical condition; my husband was very busy dealing with everything and simply didn’t bother with going back thru his call history because he had no reason to think he needed to. The call just passed unnoticed until I got Henry’s phone records some months later and noticed the call on them. At that point, his little brother remembered answering the phone that time (he is a little boy and didn’t attach any specific importance to the call at the time). – Katie
Katie: For what it is worth, I will be praying very specifically for you and these posts this week. I truly hope somehow, someway this helps in the fight for justice. I really think you are doing the right thing.
Thanks for sharing this Katie. I’ve got three girls, the first of which is turning thirteen on Friday. I hope some of your story can show her a path away from these sorts of things. I will share this with my friends and hopefully some good will come.
Oh, Katie – please, please don’t dismiss any feelings your young son may have about taking that call and not telling you about it. Even if he says he is fine, it’s possibly he’s carrying around tremendous guilt.
Sending you support and praying for strength for you as you continue on this very difficult journey. I support you 100% and absolutely believe that Henry deserves justice. As you tell his story, please, please, please, let us all know if there is anything we can do to help demand that justice be served in this case.
I’m 100% behind you, Katie. Thinking of you and your family every day. You are an amazingly strong woman. And just remember, it’s not only justice for Henry that you are doing (which is incredible in itself) but you are saving lives. I believe that. Your story will save lives.
Sending you and your the family support. Thank you for sharing your story. I am the mother of three small girls under the age of 8. Because of you, I am better prepared to talk about drugs to my girls. You have empowered me.
Thank you.
Katie,
I’m genuinely curious about why you included the facts about Henry’s girlfriend–high school she graduated from, from a well-know and prominent local family. Do these facts somehow play into what happened to Henry in any way, or how his case is being handled?
Thanks for responding if you care to.
I’m hoping for a just resolution to all of this for your family.
Katie-
This is a long shot, but you might consider trying to contact Ted Koppel. His son died an alcohol-related death last year. Although Koppel’s son was an adult, he also died in shady circumstances with shady people.
Good luck.
Thinking of you and your family. Taking in your words and story. Hoping to help you carry the weight. . .
(silently shedding tears on my keyboard.)
Sending hopes for peace. I’m sorry.
I am glad you are sharing this story. But I must echo what Matilda said, especially if your children read this blog.
Katie,
Keep the pressure on as much as you can. I think your mama bear instincts and insights are on target. You know how much your family can handle and how much they are behind you. The rest of us are here too. Mare
Katie, your words and Henry’s story have had a huge impact on how I talk to my children about drugs and alcohol. I pray for peace and strength for your family as you tell this story completely. For all the unbearable pain it must bring up, I believe you are doing (and have done) the very best thing for your son. Your words make a difference.
I’m newish to your site and just wanted to say how truly sorry I am for you and your family. What a senseless and devastating loss of such a young boy. My hearfelt sympathy and condolences to you all.
I am deeply sorry for the loss of your son. I will follow your journey and pray for resolution–if there is such a thing when a child dies. I will pray for your children, that they too can find peace in the middle of this heartache.
Don’t you ever give in, Katie – I would do the same for my children, as would most of us. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out if I can help. I’m a Pediatric ER attending doc in Washington state. My husband is a stay-at-home dad, former newspaper reporter, now blogger. I will talk about this with him and see if he has any other ideas. Hoping for justice for Henry… Denise
Really……why would anyone reading this have any questions that are really none of their business? It so does not matter how illegal drugs are ingested or shot up. What does matter is support for Katie and her family, and justice. Some comments are best kept to oneself. Come on people. Support. It’s a sad and gripping read.
Katie:
I can only imagine the pain this is taking to write this account of your son’s life. My heart is with you.
Shari
Katie, Thank you for sharing your story. You were initially concerned that this difficult story would be hard to piece together. So far, I think you are doing a good job. Just thought I’d let you know.
Katie, you dont know me but i went to high school with your ex-husband and am close friends with John of triplet fame. I went through the exact same battle with addiction as your son and finaly had to leave Knoxville to beat it. I want to convey my deepest condolences and support. If there is anything I can do to help or answer any questions from a first hand point of view just let me know.
So heartbreaking to read since I already know where the story is heading. Thankfully Henry’s death is not going to be the end of his story. It is very inspiring to see his family still fighting for him. Bless you all and lots of prayers to you. I have never met you or Henry but have told many about his story.
For those who wonder why you include certain details, I can only assume that telling the FULL story is important to you and for the case; it seems like a wise decision to me.
I know it is secondary to what you are trying to accomplish, but you make this so real that nobody could possibly believe that it could not happen in their family.
Also, you need to look into your states “hate crime” laws. Your video declares your son homeless at the time of the attack so this could be prosecuted as a hate crime as well.
Speak truth to power! Those invested with the power to do something to hold those responsible accountable have not done exactly that, and now you are shedding the light on THEM and on those who were complicit in the death of Henry. Holding you in the light, wishing you strength and composure and movement forward.
Katie, you are doing a great job of getting all the details down! Keep at it! Whether it’s in your private writing or on the blog, you may want to start putting the actual text messages within all your notes. You may find clues in it to help you think of other things to track down. Also even going through pictures that were taken during those months and adding it within the chronological order could again jog some additional memories to help.
I’m 37 years old now, but as a teenager I was a messed up girl and have lots or regrets. Things I can’t believe I did. But coming from that perspective I want to encourage you to talk with Henry’s girlfriend as much as possible to get answers. I’m sure you have. I just want to say when you think there is nothing else to learn from her to go back and try again! And later again! What she may think is not important could be the very thing to help! Any of the texts may jog her memory or pictures too. Don’t let her as a resource go.
Also, like some of the others posted, I understand why you mentioned it, but I am concerned about you mentioning Henry’s brother getting that last call and not telling you all. If it were me, and just my opinion, I would take that out of your notes and blog. He never needs to see that or have reminders of it. I’m sure it already haunts him. But who got that last call won’t serve you any justice for Henry, but could do some emotional harm for his brother for life. My advice…take it out and never mention that part again.
And last, in my opinion again, please let it go about not getting that call! Really, we all miss calls. And whether or not Henry truly would have mentioned danger at that time is a guess. Any guilty feelings aren’t going to help the case. They will cause you more stress, and aren’t of the Lord. Just pray that guilt over girl and let it go! You’re too much a warrier woman to let that hold stay on you! Free up your mind the things you are doing and can do!
Love and God bless!