Tonight, 21 month old G (seen here very, very sleepy, clutching toy Holstein cow) said “Henry” for the first time.
Like most mamas of one year olds, I run thru the list of important people in her life, encouraging her to repeat their names back, and clapping when she does. There’s Daddy, of course, and Aunt Betsy and Uncle Robert, and all the cousins. Also the grandparents, and then her older siblings: J, E, C and… (slight hesitation from me sometimes), Henry! Of course, Henry, too.
And while G’s babbling is still a little delayed for her age – maybe because she was born 6 weeks early – she tries to say everyone’s name. She got the hang of E’s name first (he was quite proud of that), and she’s added the others.
And now, tonight, I coaxed, “‘Henry,’ can you say ‘Henry’?”
And she suddenly grinned and blurted out a fuzzy approximation, and then she laughed out loud, obviously very pleased with herself. I clapped and cooed, and she did it again.
At that moment, I experienced this moment of incredible dissonance in which a baby I used to know flashed into my mind; there he was, inside a tableau in which a very proud, much younger mama clapped and babbled with him as he learned his first words.
When Henry was a one year old, he was always clutching a fist-sized, plaster of paris elephant he’d somehow acquired and fallen in love with. He called him “Bo,” because he loved Dumbo, the Disney movie.
And I felt oh-so-fleetingly confused as I saw the baby in my mind’s eye – the baby who was, juxtaposed with his little sister who is. There she sat, right in front of me, clutching her small plastic cow, and smiling happily at having said her big brother’s name for the very first time – the big brother I mothered with all my heart for 18 years, but whom she missed by only three weeks.
G is a force of nature, and I am so blessed to be her mama. She is a special gift that the universe gave to our whole family.
Whether through divine intervention or just love, that baby is a blessing and a heart healer. I'm not so sure they missed each other. I think they spent those 3 weeks getting to know each other and then he told her he would see her later.
I love this, Betsy. It is how I like to view the universe.
I am so sure this is so true.
"heart healer". i love that, maybe that should be her new nickname. beautiful sentiment all around betsy.
katie, your post so touched my heart. dissonance, what a great word to describe those memories. G is indeed a blessing to your whole family, you all are so lucky to have her. I like to think betsy is right, they got to know each other on a spirit, soul level for 3 weeks, and now she will learn about what Henry was like in human form from his loving family.
I agree with Betsy.
My Grand passed away a gre weeks before my first and only child was born. I think she held her in her arms before we ever did here on earth. And almost daily I think to myself that my Grand had a hand in picking out this wonderful little spirit that healed our family's hearts. There are so many little things about her that make me think of my Grand (or imagine Grand laughing at AA's silliness) Even more important, she and her PopPop (Grand's husband of 57 years) are like kindred spirits. The birth of our daughter could never take Grand's place but it was the most perfect gift of healing sent straight from heaven above. Much love your way. I am proud of everything your family has done to honor Henry's legacy.
I love Betsy's reply!!!! I love how you love your family
There is such a connection between G and Henry…I too love Betsy's reply.
Fuck. That made me cry, and I'm trying to watch a ballgame.
Spiney, muwahahahaha! Mission accomplished.
xoxo
Awesome.
This was truly touching!!
I'm with Betsy on this one.
This broke my heart. But I do so love Betsy's reply. And I think she is right.
I know Betsy is right. Georgia, in your belly, connected deeply with Henry as you snuggled with him. I'm sure he felt her movement and the bond was formed forever.
Your Mama and Betsy are right Katie; Georgia and Henry didn't miss each other at all.
And she came out at just the right time, both for you and her.
(Now I'm all teary-eyed, trying to write a cover letter… )
Sending hugs.
such.gorgeous.children.
In every single way, all of them.
Willie and I enjoy looking at pictures of your adorable babies. Do you know what he said about this one? He burst out laughing and said she looks like a "tiny angry tyrant." I think she's adorable!
Having followed your story about Henry, quietly and somewhat secretly, this post just knocked my socks off.