Me, happy as a clam at the gym. I still can’t quite believe it.
I’m now about 8 weeks*** into my Couch to 5K (C25K) running program, and it’s not overstating things to say that getting off my ass and moving my body for the first time in far too long has begun changing my life in some very noticeable (to me) ways. To be clear, I’m not sure that running has yet changed my body at all, but I honestly don’t even really care about that anymore.Or at least I don’t care about it nearly as much, and that’s a good thing.
That shift in focus and intent with my newish running habit is just something I didn’t expect at all.
When I started this wacky running project two months or so ago, losing the extra weight I am lugging around after having given birth to two babies via c-section (which ruined my stomach muscles – AKA “core strength”) in the past five years – at ages 39 and 43 – was definitely my primary motivator for wanting to figure out how to work some exercise into my busy life. And I can’t deny that I would still love to lose this extra weight. However, what’s weird is that since I started exercising regularly, I feel smaller, tighter, and fitter, even if I haven’t lost a pound or an inch.
Have I lost any weight? Honestly, I have no idea because I haven’t stepped on a scale since the week before I got started. On that fateful day a few months back when I screwed up my courage and looked down at the flashing digital number displayed between my toes, I was so appalled that I burst into tears. I really did start crying. I have NEVER been so heavy in my life. In fact, the number on that scale that day was so upsetting to me that I can’t even bring myself to type it into this blog post. I know that’s vain and ridiculous, and I feel stupid about it, but in the interest of honesty, that’s the fact of it. I can’t bring myself to tell y’all how much I weighed two months ago, and may still weigh today. I am just too embarrassed. However, suffice it to say that my weight on that day 8 or so weeks ago was 34 pounds heavier than it was when I became pregnant with G in December of 2009, and a solid 50 pounds over what I’d really like to weigh.
I also took a “before” photo of myself that day. In it, I am attired in (okay, STUFFED INTO) the last bikini I wore comfortably in public some years ago – pre-c-sections. I think I wore the top with shorts at Bonnaroo 2005. That was the last time I’d put it on..I’d been googling around before the day I took my photo, looking at blogs by folks who have gone from chubby and inactive to fit and healthy, and I noticed that quite a few of them did take – and even publish – some kind of “before” photo of themselves (even if it wasn’t taken in a bikini).
Like this blogger
and this guy
and another
And here are a whole bunch of running mom blogs with “before” photos to inspire
Anyway, so I took decided to take a “before” photo of myself in my old bikini, and as you can probably guess since I am too embarrassed to EVEN TELL YOU HOW MUCH I WEIGH, I will not be publishing the photo here for your viewing pleasure.
Ever 
But I have the photo on my iPhone. And I am glad I took it because when I look at it, I can tell how different I felt in my own skin even two months ago compared to how I feel today. And again, I have no clue whether I look any different, or whether I have lost any weight. All I know is that now when I go running – whether that’s at the park near our house or on the treadmill at our neighborhood Y – I don’t hesitate to strip down to my running skirt and sports bra to keep moving, if that’s what feels comfortable. I don’t care what I look like or who’s looking. I just want to keep moving and feel good doing it. And that’s a BIG difference from how I felt on the day I took that supersecret “before” photo.
Running feels good. And I feel good doing it.
***Although the C25k program is only supposed to last 9 weeks, and I am now about 8 weeks in, I have gone veeeery slowly – repeating days whenever I feel like that’s the right thing for my body. Additionally, I missed 6 full days of running when I was sick recently. So even though I should be almost to the end of the formal C25k program, I am only about halfway done, and I am perfectly happy with that pace. I haven’t sustained a single injury ( a real risk for a new runner), and that tells me I am pacing myself right.
I am so proud of you!!! I know exactly what you mean. It doesn’t matter nearly as much how much you weight when you can say ‘Hot damn! I just ran further than I have ever run in my whole life!’
I started couch 2 5k a few times on a treadmill but never finished more than half. Finally, one day (about 8 months ago) I read “Run like a mother” and it inspired me to go out and just run. And it made me feel so happy! Last weekend I completed my first half marathon in Las Vegas! I finished and it made me feel so happy! I can’t wait to run another one!
@Katy E. – That’s it EXACTLY! Hot damn
I can’t wait to finish my first race. And then I know I will want to WIN a race.
- Katie
Good for you Katie. I have struggled this last year keeping on track with my exercise routine and better eating habits and I too am heavier today than I was at full term pregnancy with both my girls and probably at least 50 lbs more than I should or want to be. For me, I just keep saying I want to feel “healthy again” or like “me” again…just haven’t gotten in the right frame of mind or found what is going to work for me….I am happy for you though and cheering you on all the way.
@stacie – I remember a time when you were FAR too thin, so if rather see you happy and curvy than ever like that again!
I have no clue what’s “clicked” this time. I tried so many times before to exercise and got nowhere. I think the fact that Jon is running and is so actively encouraging of me doing it is a big help. He makes sure I never feel guilty for being gone 60-120 minutes every other day when I could be doing something useful or helpful (I tend to feel guilty about things like that). Also, being able to use the c25k app to tell me *exactly* what to do is a big help. And I like that I can run any time. I don’t stress about making it to a class at a certain day/time/place.
xoxo
I’m right there with you. Reached a horrifying (for me) number on the scale and decided it was time to do something about it. I just got back from a 9 mile run, which feels like a miracle; certainly not something I thought I could do 6 months ago! The BEST rule I made for myself it so never miss more than two days of running. Life/work/kids/illness can get in the way, but I haven’t missed more than 2 days since July. I’m down at least 14 pounds and, like you said, I feel smaller, tighter, fitter than I have in a LONG time. Also, we have a neighbor who is 102, and she walks, by herself, every single day, rain, sun or snow. I figure if she can be out there walking, I have NO excuse not to run. So keep at it Katie, the payoff, physically and more importantly emotionally, is SO worth it!
Remember, you may not necessarily lose a lot of weight overall, but the balance of fat to muscle will be seriously shifted, and muscle weighs more than fat. I’m sure you have lost weight, but more importantly are getting toned. Also, the mental and emotional benefits of exercise are invaluable. Congratulations, and keep it up!
I could have written this myself! I thought running would help me get my waistline back–my kids are 2, 4, and 6. I started out training for a 5.8 mile leg of a marathon relay with my cousins a year ago. I had no idea how much I could accomplish. In September I ran my first half marathon, and I am signed up for another in March. I haven’t lost the weight, but I don’t care anymore. Running is my mental health therapy! I love it!
That’s great!! I too have tried the couch to 5K running program about a year ago. Unfortunately, I am not so good at it as you. Life has me sidetracked most of the time. I haven’t worked out in about a month now, but still doing little things like walking the dog every night for 30min and hikes in the hilly park a few times a week. I just can’t get the BREATHING down in the running ~ that’s what makes me stop faster than being out of shape. I don’t smoke and am pretty healthy overall. I just need to work on that one thing… any suggestions? How do you all do it so you don’t get out of breath so fast?
Lynn – slow down! Read Dr. Mama’s blog – this link takes you to all her running-related posts, and you can scroll down to start at the beginning. The most helpful thing she says is that you have to run VERRRRRY slowly at first. So slow that you’d be embarrassed to have anyone see you. Only after you build up your endurance should you think about going faster. This approach worked really well for me. After finishing the C25K, I finally timed myself, and I was “running” at an almost 14-minute mile pace. Since then I worked up to running two and three miles at a time, and I’ve gotten down to about 11.5 minute miles. But if I had tried to go that fast at the start, I never would have completed the C25K program.
Oops… sorry I forgot the link: http://doctormama.blogspot.com/search/label/Running
Seconding that recommendation. I tried C25K twice and it just didn’t work for me — I “got” it once, but never really enjoyed it, and time 2 I didn’t even get that far in. And honestly I found it too hard, which will sound like the dopiest thing ever — it’s clearly not rocket-science and I know it’s based on good principles and works well for lots and lots of people, but it’s all “start running/stop running / start running again” with the intervals and, ugh (I should add, I have no smart phone, so no app to tell me what to do. I had to — gasp! Look at a stopwatch and remember!).
DoctorMama’s approach is SO much easier for me (basically, run really, really slowly for 30 minutes or until you have to quit, whichever comes first — but if you stop running before 30 minutes has gone by, keep walking until the 30 minutes is up) and I got “going” (running) with it so much faster (I got up to running the whole 30 minutes, I mean, NOT that I was running fast — I wasn’t!) that I’ve just found it a lot more fun.
She does talk about the breathing stuff in her posts, but besides run slow she basically argues lots of us need to breathe faster (when we are running) and I have found this to be true for me. If I start to feel out-of-breath, I “gasp” for like 10 breaths (gulp air pretty fast) and then go back to what feels like normal.
Fantastic! I’m also a new runner. I started in September and managed to do a 5k on Thanksgiving Day. I have to say that you really hit the nail on the head with how it feels! I, too, feel smaller, tighter and fitter than I have in years. I finally weighed myself a few days ago, after not doing it since I started running, and I have lost a few pounds. Best part is, I bought new jeans the other day – a size smaller! Yay! It feels awesome. I’ve noticed that I am naturally eating healthier. That’s been a gradual change and nothing that I’ve really focused on, but it’s happening. Loved reading this blog post!
Hooray, Katie!
I ran my way back to my optimum weight. Took of 35 lbs. in just over a year. Finished two half-marathons, and lots of 5K and 10Ks along the way. Now I run to keep fit, to keep happy, and because I CAN. Running is powerful; it can change a lot of things, not just on the outside.
I am a runner, not because I run fast or run far; I am a runner because I run. So are you. You go, girl.
It’s great you love to run! But if you add some heavy weights–you’ll not only get stronger and faster, you’ll lose inches. Seriously–give it a try!
Yay! So happy for you:) Don’t bother with the scale. It’s all about how your clothes are fitting. Keep it up!
That’s so exciting! I “ran” my first 5k with lots of breaks in October, and I’m trying to get back into it so I can stay healthy. My problem is that I look slender-ish (thanks mom and dad!) on the outside, but I’m really out of shape on the inside. My friends can’t understand this and don’t get why I need to practice to run!
Very proud of you for sticking with it. Goals are great, but don’t let a missed benchmark get in the way of the bigger picture. I struggled for years to consistently stay in shape but never maintained a program until I changed my approach to why I exercise. As a younger man my motivation was always to stay (or get) thin. In my 40′s, I realized I needed to improve my fitness to sustain long term health, not simply to look “good”. I hardly ever step on a scale now, and feel much better than I did in my 30′s. Approaching exercise from the perspective of long term health has been the key to my (limited) success.
@Andy – Thank you so much! I have a terrible tendency in all areas of my life to let “the perfect prevent the possible.” If I can’t do something exactly as I’d like (as well, as often, as successfully), I tend to flop over with a sigh of resignation and not do it at all. I’m determined not to let ghat happen this time.
Congrats on your own commitment to stick to taking good care of yourself. That’s awesome
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