Hello there! Jon and I have noticed that in recent weeks, you have been attempting fairly regularly and thus far, unsuccessfully to get into the publishing system part of my blog by trying various log-in names and passwords. While I know from your IP address that you are a Comcast customer located right here in Knoxville, I do not have your phone number or email address. That’s why I figured that writing this blog post was the best way to get my message to you.
So you see, here’s the thing… I’m not sure what you think you might find if you do manage to figure out my password and get inside my blog’s undercarriage, but you should know that whatever your expectations are, you’re almost certainly going to be disappointed.
That’s because the only thing that’s in there are the exact same posts you can already read on my blog anyway without any Harriet the Spy impersonation on your part. Yep, that’s it. Just blog posts…like this one. There are no secret documents. No racy photos. No financial records or proof of my Illuminati membership. Nada. Nothing. Zip.
I just want to make you aware of this now so that you can maybe redirect your mad hacking skillz to a higher-value target than the WordPress account of a local mommyblogger. Maybe you could even consider using your powers for the good of mankind… y’know, like how Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy did that one time? Now that’s an idea worth your serious consideration, if you ask me.
Hey! I just thought of something; maybe your story could become a movie! You could be just like Erin Brokovich, if Erin Brokovich had sneakily infiltrated blogs and stuff instead of bringing down a giant and soulless corporate evildoer.
But enough of all that Hollywood talk; like I said, I just figured I’d give you a heads-up on this situation before you waste any more of your time trying to pull an Oceans 11 here when all you’d end up with if you succeeded would be a bunch of blog posts about things like flowers, my dog’s itchy coat problem, and my new favorite shoes.
So that’s really all I wanted to say. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.
PS: if what you are actually hoping to do is publish something of your own on my blog, just email me, and we can discuss the feasibility of you maybe writing a guest post or two here.