8 lbs and 6 ozs – that’s how much Baby G weighs now, at 6 weeks old (her actual due date was August 2, but she was born June 27th)

Read all about it over in my latest Babble blog post.

I can’t quite figure out why some days are so much harder than others since Henry died.  Today I feel very, very sad – worse than I’ve felt in a while. Maybe it’s because I go back to work tomorrow. I am actually really looking forward to seeing my coworkers and clients, and I feel ready to be productive and useful at work. But it also feels like I am leaving a certain home-focused phase of grieving behind. Even though the six weeks I’ve spent at home were actually a maternity leave, this time of cocooning at home with Baby G has also allowed me time to grieve privately, and also to spend unhurried time with our whole family, including Henry’s father and stepmother. We all needed this time to be together and remember Henry collectively – all of us who loved and knew him best. I needed the days I’ve spent alone at home in the past few weeks, simply sitting in a rocking chair in my nightgown for hours at a time, cradling my newborn and thinking about my son and his death, and what it all means.

But tomorrow I am launched back into the real world. I guess it’s time. I can’t stay in my nightgown at home forever. But today feels like the end of an important phase of  this experience of losing my child.  I think that’s why I am feeling rather melancholy.

Since we are having a baby girl, and we currently have a two year old girl, we already have just about everything we will need in the way of baby gear for the newest HickJu addition – with one exception – we don’t have a double stroller.  I always use my sling quite a bit, but we live in an urban neighborhood and I like walking for exercise, so I know I’ll want a double stroller as well.  However, the choices seem a bit overwhelming, not to mention incredibly expensive. I had a double stroller I really liked when J and E were babies/toddlers (the two of them are only 28 months apart), but that’s been more than 10 years ago, and that stroller is looooong gone.  I can’t remember what kind it was anyway.

So I figured I’d put my double stroller wish list out there for you smart blog readers and see if any of you have recommendations for a brand/model we should check out.  My must-haves in a double stroller:

• Has to be sturdy enough to carry C, who at age 2 1/2 already weighs 35 lbs or more. She will be three years old the same month that Georgia (who will henceforth be referred to as “G” ) is born.
• I’m open to side by side or front to back configuration
• Needs to be able to handle rough sidewalks in our neighborhood – not all of our sidewalks are even and smooth
• Needs to have shade to cover kids on hot days
• Needs to have capability to recline on one side to cozily accomodate a sleeping infant (comfortable enough for even a young infant who needs support) while toddler remains sitting up on the other side.
• Needs to have a basket underneath for carrying stuff.
• Needs to fold up pretty well and not weigh a million pounds
• I’d love to find one costing under $250 new (NOTE: am I deluding myself on getting anything in this price range?)
• I’m open to finding a good used one if any of you have a great one you would like to sell and you live in the greater Knoxville area

So there you have it; that’s what I am looking for in a double stroller. Hit me with your recommendations and reviews in the comments below!

The best thing among MANY, MANY best things about my youngest cousin, Baby Rainbow, is that he actually kisses back!

C – October 08 (age one)

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

C – October 09 (age two)

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

I blogged over at Babble last night about my reticence to let go of the idea of C as a “baby,” and accept that she’s really sort of a toddler now.

And here is some bonus cuteness for your viewing enjoyment. These were all taken within the last 12 weeks. Look how her curls have grown!

The photo of C and NC playing piano together is my favorite. They are so unbelievably funny and adorable together – like little monkey twins. They absolutely worship each other, and get so excited when they see one another, even if it’s after an absence of only a few hours.

I also get a kick out of the fact that in every photo of her sleeping, she’s dribbling milk out the corner of her mouth

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

Today is the day that C gets her first pair of “real” shoes.

My cousin J is doing everything right, and still not getting quite enough milk. She’s soliciting suggestions.