I have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to dogs biting children, much less dragging them from their cribs and into the woods in order to devour them. That’s what I am blogging about over at Babble today.

We have three dogs: Fiat, Mabel and Leo. Although I love all of them, one is far superior to the other two, and that’s what I’m blogging about over at Babble today.

I can’t bring myself to put on a pair of Crocs. I know lots of people love them, and some women can totally pull them off, but to me, wearing Crocs would feel a lot like slipping into the dreaded mom jeans – an “I Give Up” moment.

But Jon does have a pair – I actually bought them for him – and he wears them a lot. And that’s where this story begins.

Last year, we fenced our backyard.

We wanted privacy, and we wanted our dogs to have a secure place to hang out. Soon after erecting the wildly expensive wooden fence, however, the two small dogs, Fiat and Mabel, began digging out under it and escaping. So we hired Gary, a great and fascinating guy (who also happens to be the brother of the infamous “Redneck Tapes” mastermind, John Bean), to create an electric fence running along the bottom of the wooden fence. He got us all set up, Fiat and Mabel got shocked once or twice, and for 9 months, they never tried to dig out.

Then, a few weeks ago, the dogs began digging out again. Jon went out and checked the fence, and discovered that the electric fence had come unhooked, and that’s why the dogs were getting out. So he hoooked it back up, and fiddled with the box and the wire, but couldn’t get the fence to go live again. So he just unhooked it, and the dogs kept getting out.

So we called Gary, who came out last weekend. He and Jon went down to check out the fence, and Jon explained that the electric fence was totally dead. Gary hooked up the wire, grabbed it, and was immediately shocked. The wire wasn’t dead at all. Jon was baffled, so he touched it. Nothing.

Then Gary pointed out that Jon was wearing rubber shoes – Crocs – which meant that the electric current couldn’t pass through him, so he wasn’t able to tell whether the fence was working or not.

So that’s yet another reason not to wear Crocs; they prevent you from knowing whether your electric fence is working. On the other hand, maybe they make you less vulnerable to lightning strikes…