I woke up in the extra hospital bed in H’s room this morning to a very friendly nurse standing over me and whispering, “Happy Mother’s Day! I’ll bet you feel extra lucky this year.”

Not only was it sweet of her to wish me a Happy Mom Day, she’s obviously right that this year, the day has extra special meaning for me (although to be honest with you, I totally forgot it was Mother’s Day today until last night when I was reminded by the sweet card and tasty chocolates that H’s father and stepmother left in the room for me when we traded hospital shifts for the night).

H is still sound asleep this morning – they have started him on a medication to help sleep and increase his nonexistent appetite (he’s lost 23 lbs in less than 2 weeks) – and I am just sitting here next to his bed this morning, watching him snooze and wondering what he’s dreaming about. As more specific – and horrific – details of the trauma he endured slowly emerge, I fear that his dreams are haunted with terrible things and people. As I sit next to him, which is mostly all I want to do these days, I think back over the past 18 years of Mother’s Days he and I have shared together. I remember the handmade cards from kindergarten and first grade,and the misshapen ceramic turtle he proudly brought home to me as a gift for Mother’s Day the year he was in second grade. For sixth grade, he wrote me a wonnderful poem. And then I remember Mother’s Day 2009, just last year, when he had just left home for what turned out to be nearly a year of inpatient addiction treatment. I missed him terribly, but was SO hopeful that he would be “fixed” when he returned, and that our family could get back to normal – whatever the hell that means.

I also keep looking down at my giant belly this morning and trying to wrap my head around the fact that in just about 8 weeks, we will have a new child joining our family. Ever since H was taken to the hospital, I have just basically forgotten that I am pregnant, except when I’m reminded by one of the nurses asking me when I am due. I feel the baby kicking and wiggling around in there each day, but I am so very focused on baby #1′s recovery at the moment that baby #5 seems like a made-up something. Totally unreal. But she is real, and I know that soon we have to do at least a few things to prepare for her arrival – my last two babies came 3 and 4 weeks early, respectively. But I have no idea how or when Jon and I will find the time to haul boxes up from the basement and at least wash a few sleepers and receiving blankets so she will have something to wear, or how we’ll ever get time to find the packed-up baby swing, bassinet or infant carseat. We also haven’t had any chance to start emptying, cleaning and painting the completely unrenovated junk room that is theoretically supposed to become a bedroom/nursery for C and newbaby to share. The idea was to get a big girl bed set up in there so we could start the process of transitioning C out of our bed and into the big girl bed before her new baby sister makes an arrival – so that newbaby can move into our bed, where C has slept every night for the past 2.5 years. Now I am wondering if we will instead need to ready that room for H when he is released from rehab, since his old room is on the second floor of our house, and he may need to have access to everything on the first floor for some period of time during his post-rehab recovery phase. I guess we’ll just figure this all out as we go. (Just keep swimming…swimmming…swimming…)

I feel like I have totally ignored poor E and J since H was hospitalized. E has spent the last three days staying with his cousins at Aunt Betsy’s, which is definitely a second home to him, but I can tell he’s also anxious and homesick. J has been very independent for the past two weeks, keeping herself organized and getting to school each morning via the kindness of friends and neighbors who have taken over my morning school driving routine. I love driving her to school each morning. It’s a great 30 minute catch-up for us each day, and I have missed it a lot in recent weeks. I think she has too. But thank God for her good friends (and their amazingly wonderful parents) who have acted as “extra mothers” during all of this, having her over to spend the night, helping her with homework and giving her the extra hugs she’s missed while her parents and step parents have been spending moment at the hospital.

All the help I am getting right now with feeding, transporting, organizing, and generally loving on my children makes me realize that we are really a village of “mothers” – all of us. Women and men, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents, neighbors, friends, coworkers, teachers …. All of these people and more have really stepped in to help me mother my own children in the past few weeks. Some of you have “mothered” me with your kind messages, blog comments and emails, while others have helped by guiding us in navigating the criminal justice system to try to make sure arrests are made in the assault on my child (thus also assisting in protecting ALL the children and young people in our community). And I am just so grateful to every single one of you. Really, there are just no words to express the gratitude I feel

So this year, I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all of you, to every single person reading this who has helped someone else with caring for and nurturing children in the past 12 months. I realize more with every year that passes that while some of us actually give birth to the children in our communities, we’re really all in this mothering thing together.

Today is my first day back at work. It will be difficult to concentrate, but because I love my job, it’s also great to see my coworkers and clients, and dig back into my various projects. My brain could probably use the reboot.

The current plan is for me to go to the hospital each day for 1-3 hours before work, then go to work for the day (sometimes spending my lunch hour at the hospital when I can), then go back to the hospital for the evening, returning home in time to see 14 year old J and 12 year old E off to bed as many nights as possible. I won’t see much of my two year old for the time being; yesterday, she was asleep when I got home from the hospital late at night and asleep when I left for the hospital again this morning. But I don’t see any other option for now. Because she’s not allowed on the floor where H is being cared for, I have to leave her behind for all the hours I am at the hospital, and I am missing her like crazy.

Jon is being a complete hero, pretty much solo parenting (with help from his mom and my sister Betsy), and holding down the fort in general. Yesterday I came home and napped for two hours and when I woke up, he had vacuumed the whole downstairs and done a bunch of laundry. I know he wishes he could get to the hospital more often to spend time with H, but somebody has to be at home to take care of the toddler and to get E and J fed and their homework supervised each night, etc.

E and J are having a tough time; they are both stressed to the max. I am SO PROUD of how calmly and gracefully the two of them are handling this incredibly traumatic situation, which includes a lot of separation from their mother. I wish so much that I could protect them from the burdens they are dealing with right now.

Thanks again to the wonderful Jillian S., who set up this cool online calendar to allow people who want to help us out to sign up for various kindnesses, like feeding my kids when I am at the hospital or helping with transportation and childcare. Just knowing that we have some back-up support on this daily logistical stuff is a big stress reliever for me. It allows me to focus on H because I am not so worried about what poor Jon will manage to come up with for supper for the other kids while I am gone.

Because of the nature of H’s injury and illness, his father and I are keeping close tabs on who sees him or can check in on him while he’s hospitalized. But if you are a family member or friend and would like the info on how to send him a note or a card, email me at Katie.Granju@gmail.com and I will give you the scoop. He would love hearing from people, I’m sure.

Today I hope to speak to the hospital patient advocate and social worker about some questions I have about H’s outlook for rehab, and I also hope to have another productive conversation with the detective investigating the assault on my son. I am not sure we are making the progress there that I would have hoped for and I just want to be sure that the Sheriff’s Department has all the information they need to vigorously pursue the suspects. I will rest a lot easier when they are off the streets and pose no further threat to my child …or yours.

My friend Harry, whom I’ve known since we were both 12 years old, and with whom I went to this prom (he’s pictured here with me) dug up this photo of the two of us at our senior prom.

Me: Laura Ashley dress (bien sur!), patterned gloves (!!) and tights a la Madonna circa 1984, topped off with bad, bad, VERY BAD perm (what the hell was I thinking?)

J and her best friend S – both age 14 – got to spend the last few days together, which has been wonderful. S’s family travels most months out of the year on the highest-level hunter jumper circuit. Her brother is one of the top young riders in the country, so they spend most of their time as a family at shows all up and down the East Coast. This means that J and S don’t see each other in person as often as they would like, although they talk on the phone and online almost every day.

The girls have been bestest friends since they first met at about age 5, taking riding lessons together. I realized yesterday that over the years, I’ve collected a photographic history of their growing up years, and I pulled it all together in this slideshow. They are such awesome girls, and I can’t wait to see what great things they accomplish in the decade ahead!

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

My friend Julianne Applegate recently launched her own line of gorgeous, super-environmentally friendly handbags.

Julianne is a former VP and designer for LeSportsac,  but with the launch of JulieApple – her very own, start-from-scratch company – she’s kicking it up a notch!

(Photo courtesy of the Knoxville News Sentinel)

I am in absolute awe of Julianne’s boldness in getting JulieApple off the ground in this economy, including handling all design, manufacturing and distribution for her bags by herself. Plus, she’s dedicated to running her business in ways that are consistent with her values as a person, so all of her bags are created and produced using innovative green technology, and she adheres to equitable trade and labor practices. Last, but not least, Julianne is a very busy, hands-on mom; she and her husband Toby have three terrific children, ages 8, 7 and 2.

JulieApple is the American dream, done right.

I am a huge JulieApple fan, and having been lucky enough to actually see and touch her beautiful new collection firsthand, I KNOW her bags will be a big hit – and her start-up company will be a success – if we can get enough people to see JulieApple products and tell others about them.

So that’s where y’all come in!

I would like to ask all of my blogreaders, whether you are a daily visitor here or just stopped by for the first time today to consider doing me a personal favor; please help me get the word out, guerilla marketing style, about JulieApple.   If all of us spread the word to our own online networks of friends, followers and fans, Julianne’s mom-run, bootstraps startup can get some traction. And truly, she deserves it. It has been an inspiration to me watching her throw everything she has into something that many people told her wasn’t possible, going out on her own and turning her passion into a business in a very challenging economy.

What can YOU do to help, you ask? Well, here are a few options:

• Use your Twitter and/or Facebook account to let all of your friends and followers know about this great contest that JulieApple is running at the moment (and more of these contests and giveaways will follow in the weeks ahead).  Basically, everyone who tweets about @JulieApple or becomes a JulieApple Facebook fan before noon on Tuesday is entered to win a beautiful JulieApple Hardworkin’ Hobo bag, a $128 value, shipped free straight to the winner’s door. On top of that, EVERYONE who gets 50 or more retweets of a @JulieApple Twitter post during that same time frame gets  a $50 gift certificate toward anything in the JulieApple Online Store. It’s a supereasy way to help the word out about my friend’s company and her handbags, plus, you may win a beautiful JulieApple bag yourself! You can read all the details on the contest at the JulieApple Blog. Please join in, and let all your friends know!

• If you have a blog yourself, please consider writing up a little post about JulieApple, asking your own readers to help spread the word. Feel free to cut and paste any and all of what I’ve written here, and just copy it on your own blog, or you can write up something new. You could tell your readers about the contest, or mention the cutting edge ways that Julianne is minimizing her company’s impact on the environment in her design and production process. Or you could simply direct folks to the JulieApple Flickr feed, where they can get a look at dozens of her gorgeous designs and fabrics for this season.

• If you are a member of the media or a blogger, and you would like to do a story on JulieApple or interview Julianne yourself, send me an email (katie.granju – at – gmail.com ) and I will get you set up with a digital press kit right away.  I’ll also get your interview scheduled at a time convenient for you. This is an inspiring story about a passionately determined female entrepreneur and mother of young children working to start her own company in a highly competitive industry – fashion.  Not only has Julianne Applegate managed to launch her startup in this down economy, she’s walking the walk with unique and forward thinking green, sustainable and fair trade practices.  Julianne would be a terrific guest for your TV or radio show, as she’s articulate, poised, attractive, and funny.  So if you are interested in covering the JulieApple story,  let me know how I can help you.

• If you are a blogger with a significant readership,  or you host a TV or radio show, and you would like to request a comped JulieApple handbag or yoga tote to review or giveaway to your audience, send me an email (katie.granju-at-gmail.com) letting me know what you have in mind.  Julianne is very happy to offer bags for review and legitimate promotional purposes.  Each request will be reviewed on a case by case basis to make sure it’s the right fit for all involved, but please ask!

• If you practice yoga, or have a yoga blog, please let your yoga pals and online friends know about the JulieApple line of stylishly sustainable yoga totes.

• If you own, manage or buy for a boutique, store or catalog – online or bricks & mortar – please consider carrying some or all of the JulieApple line for your customers.  You can contact Julianne directly at Julianne – at – JulieApple.com to talk about her line and how to carry it in your own store(s) or catalog.

• If you live in Knoxville (or even if you want to come into town for the event), please join Julianne for the Official JulieApple Holiday Launch Party,  starting at about 8:30 pm on December 4.   The party will be a First Friday event, held at KnoxIvi on historic Market Square, and will feature tasty food and drink, plus an afterparty ’til 1am with a DJ.  Guests will be able to meet Julianne, check out the JulieApple collection for themselves, and be entered for the chance to win a JulieApple bag at a drawing during the party.  It’s all free and open to the public, although if you let Julianne know that you plan to attend with an RSVP via the party’s Facebook invitation,  that would be great. Let your friends, coworkers and family know about the JulieApple Holiday Party, and even if you can’t attend that night, you can keep up with all the fun via the LIVE blogging, photoblogging and twittering that we’ll be doing from party central. It’s going to be a lot of fun!

• And last, but CERTAINLY not least, SHOP JULIEAPPLE! Consider buying a JulieApple bag for someone special on your holiday gift list, or as a treat for yourself.

Thanks to all of you who are willing to help with my totally volunteer (Julianne is not my client and isn’t paying me), shoestring, word-of-mouth-marketing initiative for my pal.  Consider it good karma if you take just a few minutes out of your busy day to let your friends, family and coworkers know about JulieApple, and about what makes this wonderful, family-owned startup truly special.

Thanks, y’all!  – KATIE

Two year old C has a real-life fairy godmother, and her name is Georgia. Since the day I told friends I was pregnant with C, Georgia has been sending C boxes full of amazing, wonderful surprises – toys and books and games and LOTS AND LOTS of the most gorgeous little girl clothes on the planet. And they generally arrive with no warning, making the whole thing even more fun.

Georgia has the most wonderful taste in children’s clothing imaginable – not surprising, as she’s a designer herself – and with her stylistic guidance, C has been so well dressed since birth that I kid you not, at least a couple of times a month I have people tell me that they just LOVE her clothing, and can I pretty please tell them where I find these amazing dresses and shoes that she’s always wearing. I have even had more than a few blog readers email me after seeing a photo of C wearing one or another of Georgia’s gifts to ask where they could find the dress to buy for their own little girl.

I always have to tell them that I have no idea where the outfits come from; around our house, we only know that they are gifts from C’s fairy godmother, who lives in Delaware, and who is beautiful both inside and out.

Last week, the doorbell rang and it was the mailman, with a “Georgia box” with toys and goodies, and perhaps THE most darling dress that either of my daughters has ever worn. I love this dress so much that there are no words. Unfortunately, these photos – taken on my crummy BlackBerry camera – don’t do it justice at all. But you can get an idea. Today C wore the dress to church, and no fewer than four people asked me where they could find the dress. After she heard me telling the story several times to several different people, C began calling her dress the “faiwy Georgia dwess.”

So that’s what I will call it from now on.

Thank you, sweet Georgia

Seriously, I have found THE best massage therapist in Knoxville, and he just happens to be my neighbor, Knox Janowick. I have had many massages at many spas and salons and other locales over the years, and I was always feeling like there was something I wanted, but wasn’t quite getting, even when the massage felt quite nice.

Now that I have had Knox work on me, I know what I was missing: acupressure done right. I have always been somewhat skeptical of the whole “acupressure and energy flow” claims, but Knox has officially cured me of my skepticism. When he focuses on a particular pressure point, I literally feel electrical impulses coming out of that spot and radiating across my entire body. It’s intense, but in a really amazing, pleasant and good way. One friend of mine who has been having Knox work on her told me that he found a pressure point on her body that immediately released a flood of bottled up “body memories,” leading her to literally weep during the massage. After, she felt free and relaxed in an entirely new way.

Now, here’s the best part, Knox doesn’t make you come to him; he COMES TO YOU! He comes to your house, after your workday, and brings his massage table and anything else your body work requires, and he does your massage on-site. No making appointments with snippy spa girls. No driving across town. No having to get up and get dressed and go drive some more right after your relaxing massage. Instead, you get your massage, he leaves, and then you stay at home, feeling great and not having to rush off anywhere. For those of you moms like me who have busy work schedules, the fact that he will book an in-home massage as late as 8-9pm, after the kids are in bed, and after your work day is completely finished, is simply brilliant.

And did I mention that his rates are really competitive? (Understatement).

Knox is a special and fantastic person, with a true gift for this work. I feel lucky to count him, and his wife Emily as my friends. If you schedule a session with him, you will enjoy getting to know Knox almost as much as you will enjoy the massage he gives you.

Go check out all the info on his new website, and spread the word to your friends, family and coworkers in Knoxville about Knox and his work.

Thanks!

-Katie

Today is our third wedding anniversary, and I can honestly say that it’s been the best three years of my life. Jon is the finest man I’ve ever known, and I am honored to be his wife. I have no idea how I came to be lucky enough to end up with a husband like Jon, but I am grateful every single day. I am a better person with Jon as my husband. He makes me better.

Happy anniversary, honey!

And now, my annual photographic homage to our fantastic wedding, which was exactly what we wanted it to be. Thanks to good friends and family all pitching in, we were able to plan our lovely Bell Buckle wedding and post-wedding party in only about 6-8 weeks. It turned out wonderfully. Thanks to everyone who shared our special day with us. We love all of you, and feel lucky to have you in our lives.

Created with Admarket’s flickrSLiDR.

This is J and her best friend S recently.

I can’t believe how fast they are growing up. It just seems like yesterday that they were at this stage. (Love this photo of the two of them when they were both about 7 years old)

A message my friend BBK sent my husband yesterday:

jon, you are a dear and I cannot thank you enough for loving and cherishing my oldest and dearest chum. You clearly adore her and have made her the happiest I have ever seen her, aside from a handful of times, but they involved (REDACTED BY KATIE ) so they don’t count. Anyway, my point is this, she is a fabulous lady, but there as some things she must never, ever be allowed to do, one is be in charge of giving you medications. Specifically, translating orders for medication. have E or J do it, or even the dog. Number two is be in charge of any sort of keys. I’ll make a list. Glad you are feeling better.

Yes, BBK knows me very, very well… And that’s actually quite excellent advice she just gave my husband (who seems to be recovered from his Benadryl overdose).