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Originally published at mamapundit.com on January 27, 2011

PLEASE BECOME A FAN OF “HENRY’S FUND” ON FACEBOOK


Henry Louis Granju

October 7, 1991-May 31, 2010
Beloved Boy

Remember when you see or hear or read about a “drug addict” or a “junkie,” some other parent sees his or her child.

This was my child. He was addicted to drugs, and his addiction killed him before he reached adulthood.

My beautiful, talented, kind, musical son was a drug addict and our whole family loved him very, very much. He was much more than his disease.

This is what a drug addict looks like.

 

PLEASE BECOME A FAN OF “HENRY’S FUND” ON FACEBOOK

 

Originally published at mamapundit.com on September 9, 2010

Since Henry died, many people have asked me whether it’s possible for the adults who gave him the drugs he ingested in the last 24 hours of his life, and who refused (not failed, but REFUSED) to call for help to be prosecuted. After talking to prosecutors in various jurisdictions and reading a lot of material in recent weeks, I can now answer that question affirmatively.

Yes, it is completely possible to prosecute individuals for controlled substance homicide. It happens all over the country, every year. There are several approaches available to prosecutors in moving such a case forward. One is to utilize available state statutes (in Tennessee, it appears to me that this would be second degree murder) and the other is via the federal Len Bias Law, a statute designed for the specific purpose of giving prosecutors a tool in their toolbox to deal with drug dealers whose wares kill people.

Admittedly, these are not easy cases to bring. They are messy, complicated and challenging for even very talented investigators and prosecutors. But more and more passionate, dedicated criminal investigators and prosecutors are MAKING THE EFFORT to pursue these cases. Those efforts are reflected in the rapidly growing list of successful arrests and prosecutions all over the country (I really encourage you to check out the link to read about some of these cases) for some version of “controlled substance homicide.” Sadly, here in Knox County, where I live,  law enforcement and the DA’s office are behind the curve within their own professions with regard to cases like this. They seemingly have no interest, despite the fact that overdoses are killing and maiming more Knox County citizens than ANY OTHER cause that falls within their purview, including guns.

Here in Tennessee, we are dealing with an epidemic – a true epidemic – of drug overdose deaths. In fact, between 2003 through 2007, there was a 62% increase in the number of accidental overdose deaths of Tennessee residents. In 2007, there were 750 deaths. (Source: Tennessee Department of Health) When we begin actively investigating the circumstances around how so many people are dying from drug overdoses in our communities, we will have more and better opportunities to identify the sources of the drugs. When we prosecute drug dealers whose dealing kills people, we will have fewer drug dealers selling to our kids, neighbors and coworkers. We can’t just continue to ignore the rising death toll from drug overdoses. Yes, we need better treatment options for addicts. I support drug courts that allow treatment diversion programs. We need to educate ourselves and our kids better (I know I was completely ignorant about the overdose epidemic before it took my own child). All of these pieces are important. But law enforcement and the legal system also have important roles to play.

Our family has been told by a local prosecutor that “usually, we don’t even investigate overdoses.” I appreciated the prosecutor’s candor, but I don’t agree with this position on the part of local authorities. The FBI and DEA recommend that local jurisdictions begin treating all overdose injuries and deaths as the potential crimes that they are. In the case of my son, the circumstances in which he was found near death from a drug overdose were particularly fishy; yet, the residence where he was found was not treated as a potential crime scene, and the people who were with him when paramedics arrived were given only cursory interrogation by law enforcement. The story they told about what had happened in the hours preceding paramedics’ arrival made virtually no sense, but our family was told by authorities that these people were obviously just a couple of “good samaritans” who had simply reached out to help our troubled teenager.

Ummm….no.

Some might argue that drug dealers should not be prosecuted because their victims willingly ingested or injected the drugs that caused the overdose. But this is like saying that it’s okay to shoot someone in the head as long as that person begged the shooter to do it. And I understand that failure to render aid is not in and of itself a criminal act, but when you put this failure in the larger context of a drug deal that results in an overdose in a private residence, you end up with something quite different than just a simple failure to render aid situation. You end up with some level of homicide or at least manslaughter.

I also want to reiterate that I am fully aware that my son was trading drugs and selling drugs in the last period of his life in order to support his own habit. And as painful as it would have been for all of us, if Henry’s illegal activity had provably caused another person’s death, we would have wanted to see him arrested and prosecuted for this crime.

But that’s not what happened. Instead my drug-addicted teenager died of a terrible brain injury, after a miserably cruel 5 week hospitalization. I believe that if Henry had not died at age 18, we would have ultimately been successful in helping him to kick the drugs and get his life back on track. I know for a fact that that’s what he wanted. But we won’t get the chance to do that. He won’t get the chance to do that. And I want to do everything I can to make sure that no one else suffers the same fate as my child via the same source of dangerous, illegal drugs in our community that took his beautiful mind and then his life.

I believe that drug overdoses should be investigated as potential crimes, and that dealers whose actions meet the elements outlined in the criminal statutes available to local and federal prosecutors should be charged and brought to trial – held accountable. I hope that others in our community will agree with me and help me work for change in this regard.

 

NOTE: I published this once, a few months ago, but I like it so much that I wanted to share it again since we are in the season where we are all thinking about what it is we are grateful for. I hope that in reading Henry’s list, we are all reminded to not only be grateful for the big things, like family and friends, but also for the little things that make life sweeter – like socks…and seamonkeys….

————————————————————————–

I’ve been slowly reading through Henry’s journals and letters from his nine months away in treatment last year. I never opened them before he died because they were obviously private. After, I knew I wanted to read all of it, but I couldn’t work up the strength to do it. Finally, this week I took out the wrapped bundle of papers and messy notebooks and sketchpads from the bottom drawer of his dresser, and I took it with me on my trip to Utah to read while I was all alone in my hotel room. I knew I would cry, so I thought this would be a good time to dig into Henry’s writing.

And I did cry.

I cried because he was so funny and smart and such a good writer, and I cried to read his essay on how deeply wounded he was by his parents’ divorce. I cried when I read the letters his younger siblings sent him while he was in treatment, so hopeful and loving (and which he’d saved and carried around with him for the next seven months, and then brought home with him, carefully folded into his journal). And I cried when I saw the sketch he’d drawn of “my family,” which included an adorable rendering of his baby sister, C.

It was very hard to read all of it. His desire to get clean and stay clean and his deep fears that he wouldn’t be able to pull it off after returning home are a constant theme. His love for his family is writ large on every page; this was not a boy who had become estranged from or angry at his parents and siblings and extended family, even though he was struggling with something that very often alienates teenagers from the people who love them most. No, Henry’s struggle was never with us, really. It was completely internal for him. And reading of the pain that his addiction caused him just broke my heart. When you see an addict’s external behaviors, which seem so carelessly dangerous and thoughtless, it’s easy to believe that he or she doesn’t want to stop or isn’t bothered by what life has become. In Henry’s case, he was obviously tortured by it. This simply wasn’t the life he wanted and it wasn’t who he expected or wanted to be, but by age 17, when he wrote these journal entries, he had already begun to doubt that he was capable of beating back the drugs for good. He felt inadequate for the task.

I am going to share some bits and pieces of Henry’s journal on my blog, and the first thing I want to share is this gratitude list that he compiled while in the first three months of treatment at a wilderness-based prigram in North Carolina. Helping recovering addicts recognize what they have to be grateful for is something a lot of treatment programs emphasize, so Henry was asked by his therapist to make up a list.

The result, written pretty much exactly one year before he died is pure Henry:

Henry’s Gratitude List
Spring 2009 – Age 17


Family
Girls
Friends
Music
Laughter
Dreams
Art
Memories
Concerts
My Parents
My little brother
My sisters
My dog
Jerry Garcia
Birthdays
Oceans
Funk
Love
Rhthym
Guitars
Waterslides
Plastic
Aluminum
Titanium
Amoxicillin
Penicillin
Windows Operating System
Air Conditioning
Lars
Hovercrafts
Banjos
Caterpillars
Socks
Trampolines
Loin Cloths
Lacrosse
Monkeys
Sea Monkeys
Sea Horses

Henry and his little brother E

henryelliot

 

On Wednesday, October 27th at 7pm EST, WBIR-TV in Knoxville, TN will broadcast a 30 minute, commercial-free special on how drug addiction impacted one child and one family. You will be able to view the show on-air if you live in the WBIR television viewing area, or if you live anywhere else in the world, you can watch it in its entirety online at WBIR.com on the same night it airs on TV.

By sharing our family’s experience of losing Henry to drugs as honestly and openly as possible, WBIR hopes to help many, many people understand in a more personal way how deadly prescription drug abuse is, and how it is killing so many sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, friends, coworkers and neighbors.

This is only one story, my son’s,but it represents the losses that so many families are experiencing every single day, as their children and other family members die from drug addiction.

WBIR is receiving ZERO advertising revenue for this lengthy, primetime special. They are offering the special on-air and online as an amazingly generous act of community service. In a time when media companies are struggling to stay afloat, WBIR continues to truly walk the walk with their clear and powerful dedication to bringing news and information to those who need it, Straight From The Heart. I was lucky enough to work as Online Producer at WBIR between 2004 and 2008, and I can tell you that everyone who produces their shows and online content takes their commitment to meaningful community journalism very seriously.

At the end of the special, there will be clear information presented for people who decide after hearing Henry’s Story that they or a loved one needs help NOW with addiction to drugs or alcohol.

This was my son. He was a drug addict, and drugs killed him. He was only 18 years old. Please plan to watch Henry’s Story with your children  - on-air or online – and talk with them afterward about what they heard.

Our whole family will be incredibly grateful if any blog readers would like to share the link to this blog post with others, so they can be made aware of  the upcoming special. You could post to Twitter, Facebook, your blog, or even email the link to people you care about. If enough people see Henry’s Story, I truly believe that lives will be saved.

And if any media would like to interview the folks at WBIR behind this beautiful piece of work and/or me in advance of the show airing next week, please email me at katie.granju@gmail.com and I will do my best to get you all set up.

Thanks y’all.

Love from Henry’s family –  Katie, Jon, Chris, Melissa, Jane, Elliot, Charlotte & Georgia

 

An email from a blog reader this weekend. I can’t tell you how happy this made me:

I’ve been struggling with addiction to drugs and alcohol for 27 years…Henry’s story and his life inspired me to seek help. I checked myself into a rehab on 10/5. I am now 11 days clean and sober – taking it one day at a time – as a tribute to Henry, I am in recovery. Thank you.

 

I read an amazing story this morning about how a nurse spotted an early stage cancer in a friend’s child via a photo that the mom had shared on Facebook. Apparently, the nurse – who has two decades of oncology experience – spotted a subtle change in the way this little girl’s eye was reacting to the photo flash in the picture that gave her cause for concern. She immediately let the mom know that she should have her little girl examined, and sure enough, there was a cancerous growth. Although the little girl did lose her eye, the nurse likely saved her life.

I had a similar experience when Henry was hospitalized last May. Thirty days after he was first admitted to the hospital, Henry seemed to me to be getting worse and worse, but the signs were subtle, and the doctors treating him at that point were rehab specialists, not neurologists (because he had been moved to a rehab center in the mistaken belief that he would improve). I kept suggesting that Henry seemed to be making negative progress, but I wasn’t really getting much traction with anyone at the rehab center because again, the symptoms were subtle and hard to describe. But I am his mother, so I just knew something wasn’t right.

I posted an entry on my blog one day about how Henry seemed worse to me, and then the blog entry was posted to Facebook. A neighbor of mine – a Facebook friend – followed the link from Facebook to my blog entry, and she was concerned enough by what she read to insist that her husband, an excellent neurologist who was not treating Henry, read my blog. He did, and he also became concerned.

Dr R then tracked my phone number down through a mutual friend, and within hours, Dr. R was examining Henry (in his off hours,at a hospital where doesn’t even normally practice – that’s how nice he is). By the next morning, Henry had been transferred back to the critical care neurology unit at the hospital where he had first been treated. This neurologist, Dr. R. ended up being the one who figured out what was actually going on; Henry had developed a relatively unusual complication from the drug overdose called Delayed Post Hypoxic Leukoencephalopathy.

Obviously, our family’s ultimate outcome was not the one we would have liked. But I will never forget the way folks from our virtual village reached out to me as Henry grew sicker and I wasn’t sure what was going on. And because of Dr. R and his wife, we have a clear answer for what happened to Henry; we don’t have to wonder. Without Dr. R’s expertise and willingness to step in to take on Henry’s care in his last week of life, we might have never really understood the progression of Henry’s brain injury. And although nothing makes losing him any easier, I do think it would have caused me a lot of pain to be left with no clear answer for why he made some improvements in those first weeks before taking such a terrible turn for the worse.

Oct 142010
 

I think for most mothers, the scariest thing about the possibility of dying is the idea of leaving their children before those children are ready to be left. I know this was the case for a dear friend of mine who died of breast cancer a few years ago, leaving her middle school aged daughter behind. And I know that for me, dying and leaving my kids too soon has always been my second greatest fear (the biggest fear, of course, was having one of my children die).

But since my teenage son died in May, I’ve realized that I no longer have this same fear about dying myself. That’s because when I do die, whenever that is, I will maybe get the chance to be with Henry again.

Henry & me

Henry and Kate wrestle for the gourds

I now have children on both sides of the Rubicon – four beautiful, vital children who are alive here in this physical dimension with me now, but also my oldest child, who now exists in the dimension beyond this one – a place I haven’t been yet.  While I still have no desire to ever leave any of my children before they are ready for me to go, I also know now that if something unexpected were to happen, and I were to die, I would have the opportunity to go to wherever Henry is.  To be closer to him.

Perhaps this all sounds unbearably morbid to those of you who haven’t lost a child, but for those of us who have, these are where our thoughts turn, as we shift our world view, our spiritual views and our entire consciousness to adjust to our new reality.  The idea of death becomes different once one’s own child has preceded us in that inevitable passage we will all make one day.

Thinking about the possibility of being with Henry again after my own death makes me realize one reason for the tremendous appeal of Mormon theology to so many millions of adherents around the globe. The Book of Mormon promises that after death, Mormon families in good standing with the LDS Church – fathers and mothers,children, sisters, brothers – will all be together again in a celestial kingdomexactly as they were on earth. That’s a pretty compelling idea to me at the moment. (Far more appealing, actually, than the scenario the Baptists proposed when they visited my house recently to prosyletize)

 

While Henry was in treatment last year, each of us in the family was asked to write him an “impact letter” letting him know how his drug use had affected our lives.

I found this in Henry’s journal. It’s an imagined impact letter he’s written – to Lennywinks the frog from his mother.

Dear Lennywinks:

From the time I laid your egg, I knew you were special. You were such a well behaved tadpole. However, it seemed with legs also came trouble. It started with occasional algae use, but pretty soon you were poppin’ snails. I am so sorry I let these behaviors slide fpr so long, but I was in denial. It’s very hard for a mama frog to admit that one of her froglets is an addict. You have a problem, Lennywinks, and I want you to get help. I want to see you develop into the fine young frog I always knew you could be….

and that’s where he stopped…

(I love this line: “it seemed with legs also came trouble.”)

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