WBIR Channel 10 in Knoxville, TN produced this documentary about my teenage son Henry’s struggle with drug addiction.
Henry Louis Granju, our beloved boy – died on May 31, 2010
This is our story. Just one family’s story. Every family’s story is different, but we are sharing our own openly in hopes that it might help others.
Please visit Henry’s Fund to learn how you can help teenagers struggling with addiction.
Click the video player below to watch “Henry’s Story.”
Please click here to learn how to get a dvd of Henry’s story.
Dear Katie,
I have read much of what you have written about your beloved son, Henry. My beautiful 23 year old son died 8 weeks ago of an accidental overdose. He actually had not used any drugs for a few years and had never been addicted, but also never developed a healthy fear of drugs. He was set up by a "friend" to meet a girl. The girl turned out to be an addict and used my son (and his money) to get drugs for her. I don't know why he decided to participate, but he had a bad reaction and people put him into the backseat of his car. The girl left him alone in his car for much of the night and waited 10 hours or so (many hours after he died) to call 911. I also live in TN and would like to see the girl and her accomplices as well as the dealer prosecuted not only for selling drugs, but for not getting help for my son. He could have lived!!
It seems that in TN the attitude is that an overdose is not worth investigating. Please write to my email with any suggestions you may have. I am especially upset that the girl selfishly protected herself from being caught with drugs and paraphernalia and allowed my son to die. She had no right to sacrifice his life!
I am heartbroken and devastated and never have a single second of peace. Meanwhile, the girl posts her birthday celebration on Facebook! My son will never celebrate anything again and he was truly a wonderful and gifted person who would undoubtedly have made significant contributions to many lives. The loss to this world (and to my family) is immeasurable!
I lost my son passed away almost a year ago to a drug overdose. He was in a treatment facility and was suspected to be under the influence. He had worded 12 hours in the hot sun In Jacksonville, Florida (where the treatment facility was) and then put on the streets with no food, water, money or any way to contact me. My heart breaks everyday. The pain is overwhelming and I don't think it gets much better. The only people who understand are ones who have lost a child themselves. Please continue to push for justice for your son. He deserved so much more. I am so sorry for your pain. If I can help please email me and I will send you my number. pcherispivey33@comcast.net
Cheri
I have a similiar situation to yours. I lost my son 10/11/2012. He was 23. The cause of death is still “under investigation” but it is a suspected overdose. Clinton had “experimented” with a few drugs in his past but I never new of him shooting up. His body was found in his car on a Thursday night about 9:30pm. It has since been said that the guy Clinton was with earlier in the day was seen driving his car about 4:30pm that Thursday afternoon with Clinton laying in the backseat. The guy driving was told by another person to take Clinton to the hospital but the guy said “I have more errands to run”. As you said, the police do not seem to want to investigate an “accidental overdose”. I wish, as well, for the people that knew something was wrong with Clinton be punished for not getting help for him. I do not blame anyone for my son’s choice but if he could have been saved then someone should be liable.
My heart is broken into a million pieces. I am trying to put them back together but the pieces just don’t fit. I loved him so much and know he never meant for things to go this far.
I’m so sorry about your son. What a horrible loss. Thanksgiving day was officially 6 months since my son died and the police have not arrested anyone, even though they know for sure that the girl he was with had all night to call 911 or take him to the ER. She chose to let him die and I am so angry that the DA doesn’t find this to be a crime worth devoting their resources on. They’d rather prosecute dramatic shootings.
Knowing that although our kids made a bad decision, they could have survived if other people had done the right thing, is excruciating. It’s a complete loss that destroys so many lives and futures.
I’m so sorry about your son. What a horrible loss. Thanksgiving day was officially 6 months since my son died and the police have not arrested anyone, even though they know for sure that the girl he was with had all night to call 911 or take him to the ER. She chose to let him die and I am so angry that the DA doesn’t find this to be a crime worth devoting their resources on. They’d rather prosecute dramatic shootings.
Knowing that although our kids made a bad decision, they could have survived if other people had done the right thing, is excruciating. It’s a complete loss that destroys so many lives and futures.
Here is a site that I put together for myself – to look for words of comfort and guidance after losing my son.
Perhaps you and other parents will find something helpful.
I have included your website: Justice for Henry.
http://www.scoop.it/t/grief-and-loss
So glad I found this website. My 14-year-old nephew just got released from psychiatric lock-down for some months in a children's hospital. Before that – a 60 day rehab camp – he came back and was found drunk that very night. Just before this hospital stint the doctors say he would have died if he hadn't gotten to the hospital, he was so intoxicated. He burns himself, lets others hurt him, and the doctor said he hasn't seen such an advanced stage of alcoholism in a *child* in – well, in ever. I am so glad you are writing about this. I have only just started writing about it because I think it is an important conversation to be having – my parenting blog often struggles to answer the question "how do we stop the legacy of dysfunction from being handed down to the next generation?" – I'm watching my nephew struggle now, and I really fear for him. So this blog is great for me to read, thank you.
Beware of rehab centers and people that use the word Jesus multiple times in a same sentence. I've been clean for decades in a 12 step recover program and have never seen the religious nut cure work- EVER.
When the government began giving away money to religious affiliated programs, scammers and nut cases came out of the wood work. Many are nice but clueless religious people that simply are not equipped to deal with addiction.
You CAN NOT PRAY AWAY AN ADDICTION! Many of these places are so nutty, they withhold doctor prescribed psychiatric drugs like anti-psychotics, meds for schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
I have seen way too many kids sent to these programs for 3, 6 even 9 months with insurance and government paying the bill, come out of treatment without the practical skills to stay clean. Make sure that you are dealing with PROFESSIONALS, not religious fanatics.
Your comment hit home. My son who was 20 was in Teen Challenge and they put him out on the streets and as a result he died of a drug overdose. You are right you can not pray the addiction away. It is a daily struggle.
Thanks for helping others by sharing your story .
I have not read all the replies, but first – would like to say I’m sorry for your lose. My “child” is now 32, and back in active addiction, living in hotels, and prostituting herself. I have tried and tried for the last 16 years to help her, but to no avail. We borrowed money ($50,000) in order to put her in a private 3 month rehab 2 years ago, I can’t tell you how many times I have purchased clothing for her, sent her money while she was in jail, got our vehicles out of impound that she took, and allowed others to drive, helped her get 3 apartments, cars, jobs.. the list goes on and on… and of course.. I also should mention that we have been raising HER child since he was 3 yrs old (he is now almost 11). She has never stayed clean move than 6 months, and our most recent binge – she lied and I once again believed her and allowed her to steal another $1200.
I’m tired, we’re all tired, and she is destroying her son by coming in and out of his life. This week, after 16 yrs of trying – I’m giving up. Please don’t judge me or condemn me… SHe has the tools and knows what to do, and now the choice to live your die is 100% up to her. When I bury her, I will know in my heart – I have done everything possible. I do still love her, but that’s all I have left – just love.
Dear Katie,
Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story about Henry. It’s so sad that the stigma of addiction keeps families from talking to each other and addicts from getting the compassion and help they deserve. Can you imagine calling a diabetic horrible names and denying them care because they got sick from not taking their insulin? I talk to so many parents privately but it is so hard to get them to sit together and talk because they’re all so afraid of facing other people and admitting how sick their child is.
To Dee, I don’t think that anyone who has dealt with a child who struggles with addition would dare to judge you. You have done so much for your daughter and I hope that your decision to stop helping her will force her to look at her life and realize she’s alone and ready to get help. We all fear that our child will lose the battle. You can’t make them stop. You can only help them when they are ready to be helped but that’s a horrible feeling. I hope she finds her way and your family can find some kind of peace.
There will always be stigma attached to overdose deaths, unless this largely ignorant society understands that addiction is a disease. I lost my brother in May of 2009. He had just turned 45 and he struggled with addiction (lost the fight) since he was a young teenager. He did manage four years in the military that seemed to put his life on track, but alas, he got out and went straight back into the disease. He was found dead and decomposing in a tiny apartment littered with books, food and trash. But like most immigrant families, they enable you (love you to death). I, myself, am a recovering alcoholic with an incredible daily spiritual program and could not help him. There is not one day that comes by that I do not think about him and long for him.
Hello Katie, I am in need of your help I ran accross this website after months of research looking for how to get my story out there and get help. My husband died of an overdose a year ago while his friend who gave him the drugs watched him die, he pleaded for her to get help and she did nothing. She called me and said he was passed out by the river I called 911 after the fire and rescue searched for him they could not find him and found her leaving the scene apprehended her and finally found him in shallow water, so shallow he could of sat up. They rushed him to the hospital worked on him for an hour and then pronounced him dead. They arrested her and found she had his belongings in her pockets dry. She had robbed him. Their were comments made by people who said another man had been there and that she had done things that would be considered foul play.The police just continously contradicted themselves and charged her with a petty misdmeanor before the autopsy even came back. When the autopsy came back it went against everything she had said happened and the autopsy said he either died from an overdose or drowning? There are more details to this that I will release its just to much to put on here now. She was out on bail at this time for prior drug charges only months before my husbands death. The police just did not want to be bothered because it was an overdose, there was gross negligence and there are federal statutes regarding the selling or giving of illegal drugs death resulting and there are no laws in RI regarding failure to render help during a death and she i believe watched him die robbed him and then put him in the water how can she not be held accountable. To make the story worse I have three children left with no daddy and no one in the law cares because he is just a statistic to them. AND it gets worse my little brother died a month prior from an overdose and my father had proof of who sold him the drugs and when he went to the police they told him ” this is not a grief counseling” When will people care about these people they have a problem and are good people fathers brothers sons they should not be left in a filthy river like trash and ignored. I need help to get this story out there help to change the laws and i will not stop until their names are heard and known for who they are and they will not be ignored…his name is Ryan Strumar and my brother is Derrick Hansen….please help any advice or who to speak to or how to start this mission and I will band together if u need signatures anything I can do to help you i would…..and will…………….Antoinette
Dear Katie, I think I’ve watched this at least three times, maybe more. Thank you so much for your priceless gift to us, the parents of children and the children who follow behind you on the pathways of life. My child was addicted at birth because of his teenage birth mother’s irresponsibility. We adopted him through the Monday’s Child program at DCS and he has had a lot of health problems that were very likely caused by the drugs in his body at birth. I’ve been told from the beginning that he may be particularly susceptible to drug or other addictions because of his birth situation. I haven’t wanted to believe it. You, Katy, and your beautiful Henry, have made me KNOW that none of us is insulated from this sort of thing, nor should we assume ANYTHING. Please continue to shine your bright light. You are appreciated far beyond what these or any words can say to you. Much love and light and gratitude. J